BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Self Development Are you a freak or weirdo magnet?

I don't know why but it seems in my life I always attract freaks and weirdos and losers who seem to stalk me and who appear to be attempting to pull me down into their pit of despair.

Does this happen to you with frequency as well? Do you ever wonder why these poor broken down souls seem to constantly appear in your life? I'm starting to sense that this is a lesson for me of some kind. What lesson? I have no clue at this point!

OMG!!! I think I just answered my own question.

Hi Monica, another way of looking at it is that these people see something in you that they want for themselves, i.e., a peace that they hanker after. (JOY)

When stranger and stranger people started telling me their problems I took it as a hit to become a visiting Pagan Chaplain at my local prisons. Worked out rather well too.

Monica, it happens to me all time. Just a while ago I missed three buses to get home, while I sat and listened to a woman tell me about her whole day. Drug addicts, alcoholics, schizophrenics all befriend me. I have no idea why! My friend says it is because I am a soft touch, I just cannot bear to turn anyone away if they come to me.

I feel everyone needs a moment, someone to listen to them, even just to smile at them. But I have to know when to walk away otherwise I would go crazy myself!

I listen to anyone, you never know what you might hear and what message may come your way. Maybe they want you to help lift them out of that pit, and just a friendly word or a smile will do it. You are not alone in this Monica.

I have been told I should become a counsellor but I could not deal with the emotional side of it. One of my little birds has just died and I am grief stricken. I can't stop crying when I think about her. Imagine trying to deal with the sadness other people feel if I behave like this over a little bird!

Look at it as a blessing. People like and trust you. Even if they are weirdos.

Thank you Dr. Joy my best friend back in Texas used to tell me what you said all the time but it's hard for me to accept.

Linda, I'm so sorry about your bird. I hope you feel better soon. That story you told about the bus is like the story of my life and I totally get what you're saying about hearing the underlying message. I think that is what I realized shortly after I posted my initial message. I had one of those epiphanies not just about life but about how the universe works in mysterious ways. Scary but also cool.

Thank you so much Linda, you really made my day!

I've been thinking about this thread a lot recently (in conjunction with another one) and I'll be meditating it and discussing it (without particulars of course) at my upcoming meditation retreat.

Every person from a certain angle is weird or strange. In a neighborhood of highly religious people, an atheist would be quite strange. In a neighborhood of Republicans, a Democrat would be strange. We each have our own unique foibles and the things that push our buttons. Behavior that one person is upset by, another person thinks is quite normal.

So I think rather than labeling people who do not gel well with my personal style as "losers" it's good to see that they are in a different state of their own growth. Let's say a woman has just gotten divorced and she becomes very needy for a while, almost in a panic because she is so afraid of being alone. That behavior might certainly be seen as "weird" but it is part of her life's cycle. There is the hope that with time and assistance she can find a more serene, content way to be.

Do some people end up in a stage where they are an energy vampire who harms others? Certainly that is absolutely true. There are people out there right now whose behavior harms others. I've read numerous books that go over these issues, how to recognize them, how to deal with them. One of the keys is to accept that this person is simply a person who is not currently coping with their life's challenges or brain chemistry or past abuse in a healthy way.

Certainly because another person is in let's call it an "injured" state this does not mean that I should necessarily allow *myself* to be injured by them. That is, let's say I was a teacher and I had a student, and that student chose to be an energy vampire and suck all my energy and actively seek to damage me. I would make an attempt to change the dynamic, but in the end you can never change another person. If that student was stuck in their damaging mindset, that is the job for a therapist or trained professional. It is not a task I am qualified for. I would put an end to the student-teacher relationship and wish them the best of luck.

I know it's very tempting to rant about others who are currently in the harmful stage, and it is certainly better to let out the bottled up feelings vs locking them inside and letting them fester. Venting or releasing is always the important first step! The second step is to realize that these individuals are simply people, people with flaws that may have been created by serious abuse or other issues, and by treating them with compassion while also maintaining a healthy protection of our own selves, we do our best at finding the best solution for all concerned.

You must have been reading between my lines because that is exactly what I concluded and the fact that these peeps keep appearing in my life is a bigger message for me. Not gonna get into what that is but it's pretty big!

I've been thinking about this thread on several levels. As a proud misfit/freak/weirdo, I saw the title of the post and felt unsettled.

But I think I am to understand that the jist here is not to call people weirdos, but to vent against energy vampires?

Not all counselling is dealing with sad people. Life coaches are counselling under another guise. Also perhaps with your high empathy you could counsel people with poor empathy to help them develop sensitivity to other peoples feelings?