BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Don't Get Marry?

I am wondering why some of you get marry.

1. You are in Love and you want to marry the love of your life.
2. You don't want to work and so you prefer to stay home & clean the house.
3. You or spouse wanted children and you don't want. Why get marry?
4. You aren't working and educating at all.

I feel all women should have educations and work experiences to prepares for futures. You don't know what will happen if one of you get sick. Then what.

I am just curious and am not sure why you marry and no kids.

I would like to hear your opinions and you are good at it.

I married for love. I love my husband with all of my heart and can't imagine life without him. Pure and simple. I have my bachelor's degree but, because of a rough economy, I am a housewife working on a nursing degree...so, yep, educated, good work ethic, in love, no want for kids.

I got married because I was in love and my husband was in love with me. We wanted a way to celebrate that. It seems like someone is always asking "Why?" though, since we're childfree and atheist. Personally marriage is about sharing your life with the person you don't want to imagine being without and it has nothing to do with children or god; it's about love, pure and simple.

That is great love story. I am glad you are educating person. As long both of you don't want children.

Hope things goes well in future.

This is great love story to read. Yes, there aren't any jobs left for us. Keep on what you like to do. As long your husband still want you. Have A Great Day!

I have a master's degree and work as a researcher for the military. I plan on applying to a PhD program next year.

While this forum is called "Married No Kids" I myself do not wish to be married. I don't need a piece of paper to know that I love someone or to dedicate my life to them. But I would guess that most of the married ladies on here married because they love their husbands. Marriage is a public declaration (or religous) of your love and dedication to the person. Your pledge to be loyal to them as long as you both live. Marriage is not only about procreation, in fact in the U.S. a large part of babies are conceived out of wedlock. You don't have to pump out a bunch of crotch demons to dedicate your life to someone.

Instead of asking "why get married if you don't want kids" you should be asking those questions seperately. Why get married? Why have kids? Those are questions that too many people never think about before jumping into marriage and parenting.

I have to admit that I always find that a very offensive question. Either that or it's quite sad as it suggests that parents got married for child security rather than for love (how sad for them). And, of course, your marriage is more likely to end in divorce if you have children so maybe the argument should be "don't get married if you want kids" (I jest but you get the point).

My marraige ended mutually and we are still great friends, but life had really thrown a lot of stuff at us and I had a complete breakdown and at that point I realised what was missing from my life (academia) and that I needed to go after it.

So now I have a guy who is also very into academia (both scientists), we're not married yet but are going to in a couple of years once study life has settled down a bit.

Why do we want to get married? Where we live partners have absolutely no legal rights. It's very backward in that respect. Also, because I am technically an 'immigrant' where we live (my partner isn't) there are very strange laws regarding inheritance and me living in OUR home should my partner die (I could own it but not live in it)! We have already committed to spending the rest of our lives together so it's not a marriage of convenience, it doesn't change our relationship at all (my first marriage didn't either), but it does cut out a load of legal BS that we will need to endure while trying to cover every aspect of our lives where our parents (or in the case of my partner's nationality it would fall to his brother) would be given priority over a partner (medical, finances, organ donation,...) We know each other better than our families so were one of us to die we would know what the other really wanted, families wouldn't always do that as they wouldn't know what the other wanted.

We could draw up legal papers to cover every situation but boy would it be extremely costly (we have the most expensive lawyers in the world here) and there is always the chance we will miss something that turns out to be critical. Also, we shouldn't be forced into doing that, it's wrong that the country won't recognise our relationship. It's wrong that for my partner to have a relationship with someone who has full housing and working rights here he is limited to really a very small number of woman of the same nationality, most of whom won't have his academic ability because if they did then they would have had to leave this country to find work.

I'll agree I wasn't as keen on getting married as my husband, but the legality of it is important. For the $88 we paid for a marriage certificate, he's now my legal next of kin, we share all assets instantly, and I'm sure a ton of other things I can't think of. Also, he wasn't a U.S. resident at the time, and it made it easier for him to stay in the U.S. without having to find an employer willing to bother with extra paper work to hire him. Had his being able to stay here not been such an issue, I might have tried to avoid marriage, but he insists he would have "convinced me to marry him anyway."

After 8 happy years, I don't regret it for one second. No matter what people say, there is an instant societal recognition of marriage over boyfriend/girlfriend. Is it sucky and antiquated? Yes. But, it's still there. That's why gay people in the U.S. are still fighting for their right to marry the loves of their lives.

Perhaps the specialness of it also lies in that it isn't required anymore. There's no real reason to get married that can't be overcome with a ton of legal paper work, I'm sure. Yet, we were willing to stand up in front of our family, friends, and the legal system and say, "You. I'm picking you. I'm so sure of it that I'm willing to risk a lengthy legal battle and you setting all my clothes on fire on the lawn if I'm wrong!" Ah, romance, gotta love it.

Oh, and yeah, I have master's degree and all that good junk. I actually am more "educated" than my husband. I don't need him for anything but love.

I'll admit that I got married purely out of love - I was 20 years old, had been engaged for a year, and had known my husband 6 months before that as an acquaintance in the same MOS ( military specialty)as I. We hit it off immediately. And, being 7 years my senior, he could buy alcohol legally (believe me, in the Marines, this is an awfully good reason to be friends with someone. lol). We didn't even think of legal recognition; we just loved each other. :)

Dolyn, it's funny you mention the lengthy legal battle if it doesn't work out. I think the fact that my ex and I truly loved each other and so even when we split wanted the best for each other (and still do) was why our divorce was the simplest thing in history. I downloaded a document and signed it in front of a notary (who charged �40) then my ex signed it in front of a notary back home, and 6 weeks later we were divorced. We just took what we both actually needed, since I was living abroad this meant I just let him have the car and big items that would be costly for me to move. My stuff is in my parents' loft at the moment and every so often my ex has the need for something and just phones me up and asks if he can go get it.

But then we do truly love each other, we split due to circumstance and neither of us would wish to see the other struggling financially or otherwise. Whereas some people who get married for love are still quite selfish people and I think it just takes one to be selfish for the separation to become a nightmare. If you truly love each other it should never be a nightmare.