BellaOnline Forums Relationships Bereavement time to think of me!

My husband and I started a new life together in Italy(the country of my parent)Paradise! in the countryside,relaxed and beautiful sunshine.Got our house sorted,even bought a little piece of land and built a small "villa" for afternoons of sun and fun.5 years of hard work.Then,he started to feeel ill, and within 6 weeks he had died in my arms of late stage lung cancer.He never knew.Thank god his Italian was poor.Now I'm on my own in this paradise and its soo hard. Its been 18 months and feels like yesterday.As soon as he was gone,I felt like an old woman,I'm 54 now, but we had a full marriage.He always held my hand,we did everything together,we played jokes, danced,worked together.I feel so cheated...Why us?

mtw, i'm so glad you've written. i know your heart is broken, and you're having a really hard time in this 'season for lovers'. but you can hold your head up high. a lot of people have not had five years of good in a marriage. YOU know what real love is. YOU had five glorious years of wonderful memories, and a tribute from your lover that you live in every day. how blessed you are. rise above your pain, and shout your lover's name from your garden. write him a love letter, then burn it in your yard.put in a special tree or plant in his honor.

why you? God knew your husband's time was short. he was a good man. God wanted his last days to be wonderful, filled with love, beauty and joy. God needed a very special person to do this, and chose you. you did a magnificent job, and God is so proud of you. blessings will return to you tenfold. God knows what it means to lose someone you love dearly. His arms are around you this very moment. your beloved blesses you from heaven, and wants you to enjoy what the 2 of you built together. move from your grief into the sunlight, mtw. touch the things the 2 of you touched together, and find energy there.

you were chosen, and we are in awe of you.

i just read your comment and and am very touched. You made me cry, which happens a lot anyway, but this time for myself. I know in my heart that I did all I could do, that I know my husband knew that he was loved and that he loved me. In our 24 years together it was not all roses,bad times were bad ( my husband had a broken family and was severely damaged by it) but the good times were amazing,so much fun and affection.We were together a lot of the time and it was a rare day that he didn't tell me he loved me,my hand was not my own once we were an item, he always had hold of me.Now, I stand alone, with my memories, good and bad, and I feel lucky. Yes, I have been loved....but is it fair that I should go into my old age alone? I want no one else, just him.....

Well, it's coming up to Easter, and as a tradition, Italians go "out " for Easter Monday. usually to the country or at least a park. scampata. All Italians, please excuse me, I'm Italian, but its not my first language. So,for the first time I'm going to have a "family party" down at my campania since my husband died. He built a lovely villa, and its just waiting for people. He loved parties down there and its time for us in the family to brace ourselves and use it.I know he'd be happy. Its been 19 months since he died, but it feels like yesterday for me.It's not a rave, just people spending time in the sunshine, we hope!

MTW, have a wonderful time on Easter Monday! You know that he will be with you in spirit, and you also know that he loved you and wanted you to enjoy the villa, and your life there. May the sun shine on you always.

You are so kind. I hope you have a good time too. Come on everyone, its Springtime, wakey, wakey, rise and shine.....

I just read your post, mtw. What a touching example of love you and your husband are! Love lives eternally. It does not end with death. He loves you forever.

I just read the post. I'm so sorry for you. The love you and your husband had will live on forever. It is so hard, I know. I lost my dad 3 years ago, and still it is not easy. He was my back spine. It happened so fast, that I couldn't even be there to say goodbye to him. I still have my good and bad days, but it will get easier as time goes on. Just remember, he is always in your heart and he loves you.

I guess I'm kind of late to this forum so I don't know if my post will be read. I just want to say that I have been there. My husband and I were best friends, business partners and lovers. He passed away in December of 2006 so it's coming up to 4 years now. Just over a year ago I realized that I would have to travel solo now. We both loved travel and to continue, I would be doing it on my own. I write a lot about it on my blog. Writing about solo travel, how to do it and about my adventures has been huge in my recovery from grief. I hope you find your way out as well.