BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids When people bring babies to work >_<

Hi everyone, it's been really great read what you have written and to know there are people who feel like me somewhere out there. I'm 25 and I've always known that I won't have kids, I'm just not interested in babies and toddlers and quite frankly seeing pregnant women and their results disturbs me. I just dont understand how both men and women turn into cooing messes when a baby is around. No, i dont want to hold it, talk to it, or see what new toy it has, but people seem to think im strange for not wanting to. ..Like it's some 'natural' feeling im supposed to have, especially as a woman. I've never been forced to be around babies before but recently at work (I'm a teacher at an International Language School) some of the new mother staff have been bringing their babies in to the staffroom. Usually when this happens everyone rushes over to melt and coo and 'cluck' over the 'bundle of joy'. but not me... i edge away like the room is contaminated...go about my business at my desk and try to block out the ridiculous sounds of my coworkers babbling nonsense. It's not like it's a just a random pop-in visit, one mother brings her baby in EVERYWEEK...uurgh it just not what i want to see at 8.20am, it's hard enough to wake up early let alone be confronted with this scene. Anyway, I'm not sure if this topic has already been brought up but I just wanted to let out my frustration a little as everyone else at my work seems to think I'm weird, and I feel alienated when the baby is there..i just dont know what to do...really its hard for me to even look at it without feeling a kind of horror. I'm really bad at faking interest too, especially when it goes strongly against my principles. I'm sick of being told &quot;you'll have one someday!&quot; , &quot;its different when it's yours&quot; etc etc. I swear, I NEVER played with baby dolls and other 'girly stuff' when i was a kid (G.I joes and lego, thanks) and I'm not going to change! Thanks for listening to me anyway... Has anyone else had this baby-at-work dilemma ?

I don't mind babies visiting work, it's the fact that everyone stops work and oohs and ahhs usually for at least half an hour. I will say hello and admire the kid, then I go back to work. What bothers me is that some assume that since I do not have children and will not be having children that I couldn't possibly be interested.

Isn't it just awful?

I haven't experienced it at work but I have experienced everywhere else.
Like you, I never was into girly stuff, other than Barbie. I hated all my baby dolls. GI Joe and Legos were fun lol.

Just yesterday at the doctor's office, I was chatting with a very nice older woman about our recent health problems. Once I told her I had ovarian cysts, she immediately went into baby talk. About how I should stay positive about having a baby and how all women want to experience the wonders of motherhood. So I just stood there, with nothing to say. I just sort of nodded. She didn't even bother to ask me how I felt about the situation or if I wanted children at all. She was very sweet, so I just let her be.

My hubby has been having the baby question issue at work. He tells me they ask him about it every single day and it drives him insane.

People just don't get it. I think it's best we say something like "I have no desire to ever have children and I would appreciate if you would stop asking. Think what you want but please respect me and keep it to yourself."
That's what I'm using from now on. The next person who doesn't cut it out, is getting cursed out.

Jellyroll- Man, that sucks! Sure, the woman you were chatting with meant well, but what is with the whole planet assuming ALL women want to be mothers??

Specil- Hi! I feel for you! I feel the same way. I hate when people bring babies to work. I hate how all the woman gather around and STARE at the thing as it drools and sometimes cries. I try to be polite and smile at the baby, then run away=)

That's exactly what I thought. I was just like, wow... The woman left me flabbergasted. I really had nothing to respond with lol. I felt awful because here was this darling sweet woman who was only hoping for the best for me. Left me with the most awkward feeling inside. I knew if I were to tell her I didn't want children, she would never understand.

I guess at my age (30) I'll just have to get used to people assuming I want children. I just don't appreciate being scolded or told I should. That really peeves me.

People not only assume that you want babies, they will even pity you lol. I met my hubby at age 34. One year later on my brother's wedding I was told that some relatives had been commenting they felt happy I had met someone but they found it was a little sad that it might be a little "too late" lmao!

To the OP - whenever folks shove a baby in my face I either act like I have a very contagious cold, or I tell them I'm terrible with kids and so shouldn't hold theirs (even tho I'm very good with children). This works! Just pretend you're terrified of the little thing - people will pity you, but will do it behind your back rather than to your face. But I agree; children don't need to come into the office to &quot;be seen.&quot; I don't take my DOG into my office to &quot;be seen,&quot; or my Wii console. . . . or ANYTHING I own or made. Children should be no different. While I was doing my undergrad work, a woman in my classes kept bringing her screaming, undisciplined toddler to classes. The toddler was tipping desks in the classroom and screaming during lectures and dumping people's coffee cups and wiping papers off the prof's desk - ugh! The mom thought it was cute, but she was the ONLY one who wasn't seriously ticked by the kids' presence. Finally, a group of us went to the prof and told him we wanted to either go into independent study to finish the class term, or we all wanted our tuition money back for his class. The prof talked to the rude mom and FINALLY, the kid stopped coming to class with her. There were several other moms in the class, but all of them had the courtesy to leave their children out of their university experience and none of them were sympathetic at all. So - maybe mention to your supervisor (or, if your supervisor's too busy cooing over the baby, go to your supervisor's supervisor) and let them know how many hours per month are being wasted by employees cooing over office-babies. Harsh? Yes. But are your office moms out of line? Absolutely. This can always be accomplished by placing a well-timed call to said supervisor while all the baby-cooing is taking place - let him/her hear firsthand how loud your coworkers are being.

I would think it would be unhealthy to bring a baby to a place where there are lots of germs. In a school environment, people are coming in from all over the place and they've had contact with all sorts of other people. Isn't that exposing the child to a lot of stuff it doesn't need to be exposed to?

Since it's starting to become a trend with this employee, perhaps you could use this time to make coffee or something if it's happening before classes start?

thanks for all your replies, sorry I'm late at getting back. Unfortunately the supervisor/director of studies announced at a staff meeting how great she thought it was to see these babies. I definitely use the time to make coffee, strong coffee. I found another female coworker who feels similarly to me, so at least a have someone to shoot pained looks at whenever the rest of the staff are melting all over the floor about whose ever baby came in today. I got plenty more &quot;you'll change&quot; comments in the last few days, perhaps I can print out a card and start playing breeder bingo: BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

I hate faking it at new baby displays, office or otherwise. Although I wouldn't necessarily want to complain to the boss - I'd be afraid of reinforcing prejudices because there is enough prejudice against women with kids at work because society doesn't exactly make things easy for working mothers. While that is another reason to not want kids, I wouldn't want to make things harder for ambtitious women who happen to have kids. Jellyroll-I hate it when people (usually well-meaning) assume you'll have a kid. A parent we invited to dinner (came 1 hour late because dearest baby who was also invited was sleeping and then showed up without the baby's mom because baby was still sleeping) made a toast to &quot;your baby&quot; and went on about how they couldn't wait til we had one. Right, have a baby just to keep them company.