BellaOnline Forums Family Child Loss Coming up on his death date

This is always so hard. How do you spend the day your child died?

We never realized it until a few years ago, but we get so emotional around this time. Life gets harder to deal with and then we see the calendar and sure enough. The dark day is upon us.

I cannot relive the day he died. It was horrid. And I want him to know that we still think of him with joy and love--not pain and sorrow.

How do you spend the death date? And do you have any more dreams or spiritual experiences with your beloved's spirit?

Lori I am so sorry for your loss, My son Tommy was killed when he was 13 yrs old, That was 23 yrs ago, To this day it can be an emotional struggle over holidays, his birthday and the anniversary of his death. Its not that it gets easier over the years, it's that you handle it differently. On those special days i try so hard NOT to remember how he died, But i remember the fun times i had with him from the time he was born till the day he passed. I still can't yet bring out pictures, school papers, cards, and little notes from him. Because it tears me apart. I love it when I dream of him, When i wake i thank God for letting me spend one more time with him.
God bless you, and may he lessen the sorrow in your heart.

Thank you for that, Rosie. The day has come and gone. We chose not to commemorate it at all. We just wanted to forget that horrible, wretched day. The worse day of my life.

I want my scrapbooks finished so I can look at them, but all the pics are stuffed in plastic bins still because I can't look at them either. It tears me apart, too. And, like you,I love to dream of him and I know that is God's way of easing the separation during waking hours.

May God bless you, too, and thank you for sharing because somehow, it does ease my pain to know that I am not the only one who has to carry this burden for the rest of my life. Other people manage to keep living...and so it stands to reason that I should be able to as well.

It's just that we love him so much and the missing him feels like an endless pit that nothing will be able to fill.

Thank you for reminding me to focus on the gratitude. I am so thankful to have been his mother! What a joyful blessing and honor!

Hi Lori, my name is Latoya. I'm so, so, so, sorry for your lose. The date of me losing my baby is coming in a few weeks. I have no clue how to deal. It will be a year March 1st. All I can say is may god be with you and your family, and I hope you get through that day as best you know how. That's all you can do. Again I really don't know. I still wake up 2 my baby crying in my house and she's gone. I'm sure your son know's you think of him with joy and love. I really believe that, and you should keep on doin so. You and your family are in my prayers. God bless.

Hi Latoya. I'm sorry for you, too. Oh, gosh that first year was the hardest. You do hear, smell and see your baby...so close and yet out of reach...

It's so so sad. I pray that you will feel your baby's love while finding some solace in knowing that your baby is safe and happy, free from the dangers of this world.

You can hold your child in your arms in that netherworld of dreams and sleep where I believe we are allowed to mingle in spirit. It is God's way to easing our pain.

May He bless you and keep your heart strong. Thank you so much for posting. I appreciate it very much.

Hi Lori I'm sorry for you loss... My son Jaime was killed when he was 25 yrs old. to this day it can be an emotional struggle. I still shed tears and feel the searing pain of my loss. yet, I find comfort whenever I remember his smile, his laugh, My two boys were shot on November 28 2008 one survive he was at the hospital and Jaime died Instantly ...I'll never forget him we may be apart but only in distance not by Heart. and all i can think about Is why You're gone....Why do I have to be so sad. I miss you Jaime...

Oh Lourdes...I know you miss him. I know you miss him so very much...

I don't know why people have to be separated like this. It hurts so much.

We were talking about my son tonight and about how much we miss him. It just doesn't get much better as time passes. We only miss him more.

I'm sorry for your loss, too. You'll never forget him. He'll come to visit you in your dreams until you two are reunited.

God bless...