BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage If you could change one thing about your marriage

Ok, 'tis the season and you're sitting on Santa's lap. He's giving you a grand present: If you could change one thing about your marriage, what would it be?

Ok, I'll start then...

I'd wish for him to cut back on playing World of Warcraft.

You don't want to know how long he plays...

I would like my husband to lighten up a little bit - stop being so damn serious all the time....

I would like for him to be more of a doer not a talker. He procrastinates like no mans business

I wouldn't change anything...We have a great relationship,our sex life is wonderful and active,we do alot of things together,we also have our friend times,etc.I am lucky, that he isn't a major PS2,online games,etc kind of guy.Maybe the only thing I woudl want is more flowers sent to me,call me at work a couple times amonth,etc.But,for the most part,I am ecstatic about my marriage!

This one is absolutely impossible to accomplish, however I do wonder what would have happened, what life would have been like for me and my husband had we either stayed in the college town where we met (which is what I wanted to do) or moved somewhere suburban. We live in the city now, which was a lifestyle change for me (a drastic one). I do often wonder what if we didn't move to New York, what would have happened...

But all I can do is to wonder as you can't change the past. I do wish I could see what our alternate lives would have been like--you know how they do in movies. It's something I'm very curious about, but will never know. LOL.

If I could change one thing, I would have our marriage start out with the relationship we have now. Now we know that our relationship with each other is the most important relationship there is after the relationship with God.

If i could change one thing about my marriage it would to be to have intimacy and passion in my marriage. I am desperate for a sex life. It has been nearly two years since my wife and I were intimate and another 12 months for the time before that. I would like my wife to be passionate. Truth is she does not like to be touched much. It is hard to get much more than a hug or a kiss from her. After talking with her recently there is very little prospect that she will desire or allow intimacy anytime in the near future. I am still faith to her and my vows, but I must confess sometimes I just want to throw my inhabitions and desires to the wind.

So, if I could change one thing it would be for my wife to be passionate and enjoy sharing intimacy together.

I doubt that will ever happen again.

First of all, thank you for posting. I'm glad you're here. Second, have hope. There's always hope.

How long have you been married?
Was she like this when you first got married?
Did you and she have sexual relations before marriage?
Does she have inhibiting religious beliefs?
How old is she?
Do you have children?
Is your marital relationship fairly happy and healthy otherwise?
Is she generally happy?
Is she physically healthy and active?
Does she suffer from any emotional upsets (ie depression)?
Have you done anything to try to solve this situation on your own?

Your situation is all-too common, really. And there are reasons--and solutions--for her lagging libido. But a woman's sex drive is connected to many other factors in her life.

If you tell us more, maybe we can help. Many of us have been in her shoes.

i've been married for 22 years.
She was passionate during our courtship and first few years of marriage.
I had one relationship before my wife, she had none.
we are both 50.
we have 3 girls, two in college.
our marriage has struggled financially for many years.
I cant say how happy she is. she doesnt communicate her feelings much. She communicates her opinions very well and often on everything.
We had both struggle with depression, ect. Me with anxiety too
I try to touch her and patiently warm her up, but I am so used to her saying no i dont try very much anymore. I am so used to being rejected.

as you can see by this post, this is not a new issue for me.
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