Hi all, first off, I'm new to this forum and by viewing the site, I feel this is a good place to go to. I hope I can get some feedback on my problem. This is a long story but Here goes.
Several years ago, my second cousin was born in 1998. At the time, we were very poor so my dad worked nights and my mother worked days with my cousin at a factory. While she worked, she would drop my brother and I off at my cousin's husband's house where he watched their newborn and us. I was only 9 years old. I was in their bedroom playing with the baby when he came in, picked up his baby and french kissed me. After he let me go, I ran and hid in the basement. I was confused and grossed out because we don't kiss our parents on the lips at all and here he stuck his toung in my mouth. As the next few times we were dropped off there (5 times a week) he started to touch me. He started to rub my boobs and my butt. After several months, they had to move in with us into the basement because they lost their house. By then, I was going through puberty so I had grown soom breast and nipples so he would rub it all the time whenever he got the chance, like when he wanted to pick up his son from my arms, he would slip a rub on my nipples. Or when I was reading on the couch, he would sit next to me and start rubbing me in my vaginal area. I knew his actions are making me mad but I didn't know what to do and I started to become real frusterated and confused with myself. A couple years went by, same thing happened everyday. I remember one day, after his 2nd son was born, I was in the basement putting his second son to sleep when he came down to "check" on the baby. Although his son was not asleep, he put the baby in the crib and put me on his bed. When this happened, I immediately pulled my legs up to my chest and hid my face. he tried to pry my arms away but he couldn't so he kissed and licked my legs, knees and even my ears. He also tried to finger me but by then I was just scared I don't actually remember if he did or didn't. After maybe 2 years, I started to be angry whenever I saw him and by the time I got into 7th grade, I was a rebel. I caused trouble in school and lied so people were scared of me. I went so far as to steal money and told others I sold drugs!!! I never did and I don't know why I did that but my parents never trusted me, and even loathed me. Around the same time, I came out to telling my parents what happened so they moved away. My father confronted him, but he said he only touched me in a brotherly/sisterly way and so my dad thought I was making it up. I started to write really dark poems and tried to figure out ways to kill him. I wanted him dead and in the worst way possible. Eventually I gained enough nerves to yell at him. Make him know I HATE him. He molested me all the time for 4+ years. Now we're in Florida and I probably would've not put much thought into it anymore but his wife and him followed us down here. I am 19 now and my parents love me and they know what happened to me for so long. What hurts and kills me the most is that my father and him talk and act like best friends like nothing ever happened to his daughter. It almosts disgusts me whenever my dad and him hangs out, which is a lot. It's been about 5 years since he's last touched me, but I still hate him. I don't think I'll ever forgive him, or forget.
I'd like to know what the chances of him going to jail is if I were to turn him in. I know it's been quite a few years, but if anyone knows, please let me know.
I know I've gotten over this. I just won't ever forgive or forget. The problem is no longer affecting me, but I do not want a child molester left unknown. I've actually been molested by a couple of my father's friends when I was younger, but he just stood in my head because I see him all the time. I wonder what he thinks of it now...
I don't really know if this is a problem anymore but I would like to hear what you all have to say, that is if you haven't fallen asleep reading already :)
