Hi everyone, I'm new and found this board through Google search. I live in las Vegas, NV and I was served custody papers by the father on Sunday.
I am 7 1/2 months pregnant, and my pregnancy had a pretty rocky start. The father and I were no longer together when I found out I was pregnant. I met with him and he demanded that I get an abortion. He also told me that he couldn't afford to pay for it.
the day I was scheduled to go in I began spotting, and for the next 3 days I bled and cramped, and finally passed a huge clot. I went to my ob/gyn and was told that yes, I had had a miscarriage and 'passed the fetus'. I was prescribed birth control and an antidepressant.
4 weeks later, when I had not gotten a period, I got the balls to take another pregnancy test. Positive. I called my doctor, who stubbornly insisted that I had probably had an incomplete miscarriage and sent me for an ultrasound. The ultrasound showed a teeny-tiny little 13 week old baby.
I informed the father that day and he was infuriated. He sent an email demanding that I still get an abortion (there was no way I could get rid of the baby after having seen it waving at me on the monitor). Then he said that if I wouldn't abort the baby, he refused to pay any of the bills throughout the pregnancy and would absolutely not see me or come to any of the doctor's appointments. he maintained that he wanted joint custody, pending a paternity test.
Since then he and I emailed a few times here and there, but he would never contact me unless I contacted him first. about two months ago I made the effort of inviting him to an ultrasound and he said he would come--but only if he could bring his girlfriend. when I told him ABSOLUTELY NOT, he refused to come. After that, he emailed to say that he expected to be allowed to bring his girlfriend with him to the hospital on the day I deliver the baby. At that point I sent off an irate email and there hasn't been any correspondence since.
I was served custody paperwork on Sunday. He wants 50% legal and physical custody, a DNA test to prove paternity, and for the baby to have his last name, among other demands. He is representing himself--thankfully, I have a lawyer, whom I'm meeting with this week.
I want to get sole custody with visitation rights to the father for at least the first year, while I am breastfeeding. I don't want this selfish man and his girlfriend anywhere near the baby, but I will compromise and allow him to visit--after he's attended an infant caretaking course.
I have been very careful to save every single e-mail, as that is the only way we have corresponded throughout the pregnancy. I'm very stressed out about this whole situation, and I can't help but wonder how much pull a man can have who abandoned me financially, refused to come to doctor's appointments, and demanded an abortion can possibly have in court.
Any advice???
