BellaOnline Forums Relationships Relationships Too mellow for a relationship?

Thanks Frieda. Yeah, I'm not emotionally clueless, I understand emotions and feelings; I just dont openly respond to them in an obvious way.

Definitely I want to chime in and say that screaming is NOT healthy in a relationship and for someone to want you to START screaming is rather scary. She needs to learn to be more mature in how she handles problems, not to bring you down to her level of immaturity.

I agree that people should be passionate - but there is a difference between really loving to bike and screaming at the partner in your life.

That all being said, I do agree with the others who say that we tend to attract a certain type of person by the way we behave. Every situation is a learning situation. If you keep attracting girls who are volatile like this, it might really be well worth it to really journal - or read a book on this topic - to get a sense of why that might be, so you can think about it before you start dating again.

Hi there,

I've read some of your replies and they are right. I, unfortunately, was at one time a screamer. I'm much better now. The truth of the matter was that I will probably always be more emotional than some, but back then I was emotionally immature. I was too young for serious relationships, much less having kids. But I did it anyway. this isn't about me, but I just mentioned it so you'd see what I'm getting at.

The bottom line is I have matured and handle my emotions much better. Yes, I still get upset and raise my voice once in a while, but I am far quicker to calmly talk things over. I had to grow up.

So maybe that's the case when the young women you see to be dating. Try someone older or someone who seems more emotionally grounded.

My best to you.

UPDATE.

I took the advice ya'll gave me and ended it with this girl. She came to my dorm room yesterday and here is how it went:

Me: Look, Ashlee, me and you are two completely different people. Personality wise this could never work.

Ashlee: WHAT! I'm confused.

Me: Like you said before I'm not really a fiery person and you are. This isnt gonna work baby girl. Alright? This is too much for me. We are graduating next month, I need to be stress free. I cant deal with you anymore.

Then she started crying and babbling about how she had "plans" for us this summer and into "our futures". Her crying and ranting went on for like 45 mins, thats when I left and went to the gym so I could clear my head. I havent seen her all day today. We'll see what happens this weekend.

Whats up thedopespot?

Hey, great job in standing up for yourself. You did good. I have never heard of a break up that goes smooth and pretty, that just doesn't happen. My suggestion is to stay away from all people who make a habit of yelling regardless if they are a girlfriend or anyone. This shouldn't just be narrowed down to people you date. Stay away from all people who enjoy yelling if you can help it. There is something wrong with these kind of people, they feed off drama and are not happy until they rope everyone else into their drama. i just don't have the patience for it. Anyway, thats my 2 cents boss. Onward and upward!

Good for you, thedopespot! Good luck with your future dates and try not to attract any more screamers. Keep us posted!

Shay