BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Stop the madness!!!!

I suppose you are wondering what my display name portends. I'm glad you asked. Awhile back I was listening to a radio station and the subject of kids came up. Unfortunately I don't remember the entire conversation and it was understandably short since it was between a couple of Djs squeezed in between a couple of songs. It's not like it was a talk show or anything. At any rate, in response to a comment by one of them about having kids and the effect on the environment and all, the other guy replied, �Well, the snowflake doesn't take responsibility for the avalanch.�

I stumbled upon this site yesterday while wondering if there were any sites out there that addressed the issue of being married with no kids. Upon reading a few of the posts here I was surprised to discover, seemingly, that the majority of posters here are women. Not the least of whom started this forum in the first place. In considering this paradox, since as a man I always figured it was the woman that had to have the kid, it occured to me that the reason for it is because intelligent forward thinking women who have made the decision not to have kids, gets all kinds of pressure from their �friends� and family. As a man I generally reply to the question of whether or not I have kids by saying �No, I never wanted to own one.� Because for men it's all about toys. You know, boats, motorcycles, trucks. Need I say more?

I now understand why a site like this is necessary. I applaud it whole heartedly and I think there should be a public service announcement advertising it's existance between the �Pampers and the back to school� sales commercials.

People out there, especially women, need to understand that it is alright to have their own life.

If not having children is selfish, then what's having children for the sake of looking after you in your old age?

What I really want to know is, how many women are really on this site that have had the foresight to choose not to have kids?

I would be interested to hear what, if anything, you all think of the snowflake analogy.

OK! Welcome!
Top of my head here to the snowflake anology is my gremblins anology (which just popped into my head now!)
People are like "Gremblins" they multiply!
OK, not to THAT extent (have you seen the movie? These creatures when they get wet multiply, go from one to many and so on.
Well it's a bit like that.
Someone having a kid is NOT (usually) just someone having one kid. Because usually that kid grows up to have their OWN kid. And THEY (the grandchildren of the original parent) grow up to have THEIR own kid And so on and so on...
But it's more than that - most people seem to have MORE than just ONE child
Another analogy (please excuse my 80s movie references, it's the best I can do right now!) is Wayne's World 2 in which the lead (Wayne) says to his girlfriend, Cassandra "I tell two friends and then they tell two friends and THEY tell two friends and so on and so on...." (It's MORE than just ONE snow flake, you see!)
Best I can describe it for now, anyway!

I'm not saying we can stop it but we CAN help by at least not CONTRIBUTING to it!

Good point Athena_Marina. I never really considered the multiplicity angle. Snowflakes don't procreate themselves. But then some people may not consider the implication of just "one" kid either. As you so "80s movies" pointed out. Sometimes I think people do believe that the overpopulation thing is like spontaneous combustion. It just happens and has nothing to do with them.

Here, here. Or is it Hear, hear. Or maybe Hear, here. I never could keep it straight.

Hear, hear!

By the way, I enjoyed your post.

Hi snowflake, and welcome!

One thing came to mind when I read your first paragraph... a visual of a large pile of snow, balanced very precariously on a steep slope, until one final flake landed on the pile, and it all tumbled.

Sometimes one person- or a small group- CAN make a difference. (I believe in the "tipping point" environmental theory.)

The snowflake analogy DOES become important, if you throw in the concept of "free will".

Most every other snowflake falls where it goes, without thought -- without direction -- it goes with everyone else into the 'we all need to reproduce' snowpile. They start their own avalance -- and get noticed because of their sheer numbers.

Those who are CF see the big pile of 'breeding-desiring' snowflakes and don't want to be part of them. We have to be as always, so we can only nagivate ourselves to the fringes of the snowbank. We gather, but since our mass is a lot less, we don't get noticed, we don't form a big noticable avalanche, but we do stay away from some of the influence of the breeding-desiring' folks.

The Parents By Choice (PBC) people, also see the mass of those who reproduce "just because", and dont' want to be associated with those people -- so they try to separate themselves from the mass in the middle. They do what they want in their own part of the snowbank. These PBCs are a stronger force than the CFs, have interactions with the 'breeder-desirers without thought', but do their own thing.

To decide which part of the snowbank the snowflake lands on, you have to think, analyze and see the future -- and make the choice for your own direction based on that. If you don't think, you just join the big herd in the middle, and do what everyone else does, not necessarly for your own good.

How's that for an analogy?

I have definately had the vision of the last snowflake on the pile. You have read my mind on that one. As for the rest of your comment on the analogy...Good one...