BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Would you have a child if...

Here's why I want to become wealthy: (1) to support a child and (2) to donate money to conservation groups. Everyone here seems to assume that I'm a selfish breeder, so I'm just going to back off and leave.

It's unfortunate, because I'd always admired every single one of you. I came on this board thinking that you were an open-minded group and wouldn't bash someone who's indifferent on the issue. I'm very sad that there isn't a group out there for someone like me.

I think anyone who doesn't think raising a child would be a daunting lifelong endeavor should definitely NOT have one. That goes double for a person who's "indifferent" about such a huge, [multiple] life-altering decision.

It is a shame that people are bashing you for expressing opinions different from theirs, especially when there's clearly so much more they should be bashing you for.

People like you prove what every truly CF person already knows - there's a huge difference between a PARENT and a breeder. And any damn fool who thinks it's okay to be a part-time parent because they have lots of money is the embodiment of that difference. Having money doesn't make it easier to be a parent, it makes it easier to be an irresponsible, thoughtless, selfish breeder.

Good riddance!

Personally, and maybe it's just me, but I think having a child is an awfully big thing to be indifferent about. But that's just me. I'd have to want it awfully badly to take on that huge of a commitment.

Cindy

So you DO want a child? Why didn't you just admit that? What is your purpose for being on this board again?

By the way, good luck with your big dreams of becoming a billionaire. Where is that eye-rolling smilie when you need it?

I do think Frog Kiss wants a child and there is nothing wroing with that, but she shouldnt be questioning why others dont want them. I dont think that i want children but admit that money is my big impediment to not doing so and I would be more likely to have kids if i had more money. I still might not have them becuase right now I feel ambivalent and I dont want them until I really want them and I might feel more lie I want them if I had the money. If you are truly ambivalent I think its a mistake to have kids. A few doubts is normal but ambivalence is a big deal when you are undergoing such a life chaing decision. I do think though I could be happy as a parent in the right circumstances, possibly, with the right support. Since I dont have the right circumstances I dont want kids. I probably wont have those circumstances. Does that offend people? I come to this board beause i like hearing from peopel who arent having kids just to have them and who are willing to support my life choice to not have kids. I hope that just because I am somewhat of a fence sitter and think there are some circumstances that would make it likely that I would have kidsd that that does not mean I offend people on this board.

I agree -- ambivalance should not apply when considering children. In my ideal world, no one would have kids unless they felt strongly about wanting them. It's not a "gee I'm bored, I'll color my hair" decision. It's a lifelong, life altering, all encompassing commitment.

For me, fence sitting is not offensive in the least. Examining all the scenarios and thinking each through shows that you are approaching the possibility of parenting with the gravity it deserves.

What was offensive was the implication that CFs are either just unwilling to have kids and compromise a cushy lifestyle, or that they are child-haters; using insulting terms like "middle class mentality;" and implying that CF's are small minded in their logic (that they couldn't imagine the kind of wealth Frog was theoretically tossing their way). My impression is that Frog is either very immature (if she truly believes what she is saying) or just trying to get a rise out of people (mission accomplished there!).

Honestly Tbunny I started out kind of agreeing with Frog cause i thought she was a fence sitter but then I came to agree with the rest of the forum she was pushing to much for people to say they really wanted kids or liked kids or whatever. I dont think she is a fence sitter (she seems to want kids), and i dont mean to offend her i hope she does get what she wants and she seems to want to be a mother. I just wanted to make it clear that although i have not made my mind up to not have kids Im not feeling that money is the only thing stopping me, or that theres anything wrong with being totally opposed to parenthood. I wish I had that clarity of feeling. Sometimes I wish that I would find out I was infertile so the decision would be taken out of my hand, but then I feel guilty.

Tubby3pug:

No, I have no problem with fencesitters any more than I have problems with parents. What I have a problem with is Frog's questioning of people who definitely don't want kids. Most of the people on this board don't want kids period. Money isn't the issue. I understand that is not the case with you, and again, I don't have a problem with that.

Frog was here to deliberately stir the pot. First she says she's ambivalent, then she says she wants to be rich so that she can have kids. Then she starts arguing about how kids would be no big deal if you had money. I think she is very young, naive, and idealistic. None of those things are bad in and of themselves...but when you are questioning a group of people about their life choices in a not-so-courteous manner, you're going to get people riled up.

We will see if she sticks by her "goodbye krewl board" post.

I totally respect that most people on this board have made up their mind and dont want kids period. I wish I was so clear. I just want to make it clear that money is not the only thing stopping me from having kdis. There are many other things that also are stopping me. If I really wanted kids I could afford them all. Money is one fo teh factors for me because I know I could not combine child rearing and work and I would want help at times. If I had money Id be more likely to consider having kids, but a big part of me thinks if i really wanted kids desperately Id have them now and make all of the necessary sacrifices. Afterall i had no money when I got my first cat and dog but I wanted them desperately so I sacrificed and scrimped and saved. I also think there is nothing wrong with using day care or baby sitters or nannies. I dont think it hurts kids as long as parents are involved and love their kids. I went to day care and had baby sitters. I also think if we criticize nannies and babysitters we run the risk of saying all women who have kids should return to the kitchen and be housewives. Some women may actually like taht lifestyle, and thats fine, but it shouldnt be thrust on people just becuase they choose to be parents. Afterall not ot many men quit thier jobs to become full time dads. I think some of the calmer more well adjusted parents who dont smother thier kids are the ones who have an outside life and often they get that through the help of babysitters. Still I dont want kids (not now and probably not ever) and all of this is irrelevant info cause this is a childfree board. I just wanted to make my position clear. If I one a million bucks Id be spending on dogs before kids anyway.

After skimming thru this tread, sounds to me like the frog is a troll.