BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Gynecology okay, 2 gyn questions

these are both sex-related though. hope that's okay.

1. when we do anything that arouses me (even if he's not touching "down there"), i have really bad pain that spreads all over. it's external pain, and goes from my front to my back. it feels like acid is being poured on my skin. it starts before any penetration and lasts, oh, i don't know. it does eventually go away, and i am able to finally enjoy the experience. but i'd like to have an idea what causes it and what i can do to keep it from happening.

2. after intercourse, i have severe cramping that sometimes makes me sick to my stomach. i do have endometriosis, but no adhesions or scar tissue to speak of. could the cramping be related to the endometriosis though?

these are some things i've always wanted to ask, but i get so embarrassed sometimes i just don't want to bring them up to my dr. i did mention the first one to my urologist a few years ago, and she gave me elavil. but my goodness, i slept more than my cats, and when we did do anything, i didn't enjoy it because i just didn't feel anything. so i quit using it after about 5 months or so.

so any answers for me? i'd appreciate it.

Hi there!

First, let me say that I appreciate your questions. They are very valid concerns. I also appreciate the fact that it must be difficult on you (and your husband) and being a very traditional women who values the union of a man and his wife it is more than my pleasure to help in any way that I can.

If you have pain in the genital region when you become aroused you may have vulvodynia, which is basically pain in the vulvar region (external genital area, including the skin). It is a real diagnosis and you are NOT alone. It is NOT considered a serious disease.

Next, endometriosis can certainly cause pain during or AFTER sexual intercourse.

I suggest that you make an appt to see your gynecologist to discuss these issues. Also, if you want to do some more research, I have a suggestion for you. Go to Patient School (http://patientschool.net) and scroll down the page until you come to the purple 'Just for You' section and click on Women's Issues. This area has several valuable links that will help you do research.

If you have not already signed up for the Bella gyn newsletter, please consider doing so.

Live Long! Live Well! Live Wise!
Doctor Maria <img src="/images/graemlins/beamedup.gif" alt="" />

thank you for the reply. the vulvodynia makes sense esp since this feels like the skin is being burned. i'll have to look some stuff up to see if there's a way to prevent the pain. thank goodness it has a name. as for the endometriosis causing pain, i was hoping it wasn't that, but i'm sure it is. i just had my third laparoscopy to remove this stuff back in march. i know i should go on birth control to keep it under control, but i'm still holding out. can't quite give up the dream of a kid yet. and for now, the pain with intercourse is the only really bad pain i have (usually) since this last surgery. i'll keep my fingers crossed for now on this one.

thanks again. our bodies are such mysteries sometimes. but it's neat to learn more. appreciate you taking your time.

I can certainly appreciate your desire to have a baby. If you have not already done so, I suggest that you speak with your gynecologist about fertility issues and how to improve your chances of getting pregnant (i.e. checking your basal body temperature and timing intercourse when you are most fertile). Good luck!

Maria (lady doc <img src="/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />)

thanks for the info. we've actually been trying almost 10 years and have done several procedures and seen 4 fertility specialists. we've done what we can, and i know i'll be okay without a child (dh won't open his heart to adoption). it's just letting go that's the hard part.

so my gynecologist did say if the pain gets bad again, he wants me to try lo-estrin. would that help with the pain i already have? or would it just keep things from getting worse?

Hi Holly!

I also remember us talking about migraines a while back.

Your symptoms sound very similar to mine (migraines, cramping & painful intercourse, etc)

I had a D&C w/ ablation (cauterizing) to try and get rid of my endometreiosis. It didn't work, and my symptoms had been so severe that I wound up with a hysterectomy. I pushed to have my ovaries removed (even though I am only 35, also). Both my neurologist (migraines) and psychiatrist (depression) said the removal of my ovaries would help both of these situations. And it has made a tremendous difference!

I will be completely honest and say that I already had children, so it made my choice a little more clearcut than yours.

However, I was wondering if maybe the reason your husband is so against adoption is because right now he feels like he still has another option open? no matter what the docs say, as long as you have your "parts", your husband may not entertain the idea of adoption. Yet, should you ever come to the point where a hysterectomy is necessary - he might reconsider his view then, as he would have no other option.

Mind; I am not saying go push for a hysterectomy just to see if he changes his mind! <img src="/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> Just to keep in mind that the possibility is there that he could have a change of heart.

Good luck to you!

michelle,
it's funny you mention dh changing his mind if a hysterectomy happened. actually in 2003, we discussed it. we were starting to look into adoption and were in contact with a few agencies and some friends and family members who have adopted (a lot of people in my dad's family adopted; that's kind of interesting to me), and he told me to just go ahead and have a hysterectomy and we'd adopt. i was in a TON of pain then and was not doing well at all. we talked to my ob/gyn, and he didn't feel a hysterectomy was needed at the time. instead, he did excision surgery which gave me pain relief for about a year. during that year we talked to 2 specialists and more people who adopted. and that's when dh decided he didn't want to adopt. some of our friends told us about their bad experiences (and they were BAD) with adoption, and i guess he just didn't want yet another emotional roller coaster. and when i went to my gynecologist a few months ago because the pain was getting so bad again i couldn't walk, i asked for a hysterectomy. he didn't feel i was ready for it emotionally. and maybe he was right. but i think i'm getting closer each month. the idea of no more hormones doesn't scare me. i did lupron and dealt with menopausal side effects and learned some coping mechanisms (chilled water bras are amazing remedies for hot flashes). but the finality of it all does scare me. and i think that's what my dr picked up on. i don't know if jeff would come around on the adoption issue again. he might, but i don't know. and right now, the surgery a few months ago has gotten rid of most of the pain, so it wouldn't make sense to have a hysterectomy yet.

i wonder though, if he does change his mind, are we too old for adoption? he's almost 40. i know some agencies and even foreign countries have age limits. i wish we had done all this years ago. but at the same time i know there's a reason for all this. not sure what it is, but there has to be. okay, maybe there isn't, but thinking there is comforts me. kwim?

Hi Holly,

Regarding how effectively birth control pills will be, it varies with different people. As far as adoption, you are NOT too old. Some agencies set a limit at 45 and others do not have such a limit. I certainly hope you are able to adopt. I know of an excellent adoption story regarding a relative of mine who is no different than any other family member. Perhaps dh will change his mind.

Maria

Tell your ob/gyn this can help them diagnose. I kept my mouth shut about too much for too long and suffered longer because I couldn't bring myself to tell him about the pain and cramping.

I had fibroids, adenomyosis, endometriosis and stenotical cervical opening (I'm sure I spelled most of them wrong). After a hyst at 32 I finally learned what all the fuss was about <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> It is so nice not to have the pain and the "after cramps".

[color:"blue"] You might want to try adoption through a Catholic or Lutheran charity, if you decide to go down that route.
My dh knows of my pain, it's no secret. I'm back on the pill, and that has worked for me tremendously, well so far. Otherwise I would be in bed all day with a heating pad across my tummy.
I'm looking into having a laparoscopy done next year, to ease the pain. I�ve read up on a procedure called, Uplift to help tighten the muscles of the uterus, to put it into the correct position, since this may be a cause of my not getting pregnant. Before I read up on the procedure, I thought my only hope would be adoption or ivf or iui. Both being not covered by insurance and being rather costly, however, laparoscopy and uplift procedure are covered by insurance. (Thank God!) There is hope. ((((((Hugs)))))) [/color]
<img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />