BellaOnline Forums Relationships Domestic Violence Battered Woman Syndrome

Why do men batter women? If they don't like their woman, they should seperate. Why beat her? Is it because they enjoy cruelity? Are some men sadists? Or the woman also harrasses them so much that they retaliate. Even in this case there should never be a physical retaliation. That is reprehensible. Is there any psychological profile of men who beat women? This is barbaric. Any answers about this behavior?

I can only share what I know from personal experience. My husband's father was abusive physically and verbally. This is a "Learned" behavior. My husband is emotionally challenged. He thinks I'm always "out to get him". It's not that he doesn't love me, he does, it's just that he's carrying around a lot of emotional baggage. Not just from his father, but from his previous marriage. His first wife used to make him angry on the way to visit his parents so that he would hit her and she could say "Look what he's done to me." That carried over into our relationship, where he now feels that he has to be in total control and he misinterpets everything I do and say. He gets angry at the slightest thing and blows things waaaay out of proportion. He's extremely selfish and thinks only of himself. This again is a "learned" behavior. His father is the same way. When we were first married, his father offered me $10,000 to leave my husband. I took the money and used it to pay off bills. We lived in a house that his father had given to him. When my husband took a job out of state, his father took back the house and moved in so that we couldn't rent it out or come back to it. All of this is where my husband gets his abusive behavior and control issues. It's not because he hates women, he loves women, it's because this is what's been done to him. He doesn't know how else to be. If you ask why I stay look under the posting "loves evil".

I know battered syndrome truly does have some very serious effects. I had lived through it. It was my life for 10 yrs. Its been 7 years since I have been divorced and until 2 yrs. ago he never left me alone. The after effects are shocking, because you block out parts of it, and then at times there are certain things that bring back images in my head that are terrifying. It still effects my dreams and my fear of what could happen. Still very hard to talk about and is a slow process. Is there anything or any websites to help to where you could let all of this out of your system. No longer living in fear just the effects. Thanks for any info. concerning this.

Yes I do believe it is a serious medical problem. I was in a very abusive marriage for 10 yrs. And it still effects me as well as my daughter. I have to take meds. to sleep so I don't have the dreams of the different events that happened. My daughter has delayed onset of PSTD because of and she was only 7 when I left. I still flinch when my now BF picks with me and it has been 6 yrs. since I was divorced.

All these post traumatic stress disorders squeeze the life away.

I did not know this forum existed, but I had to relate to that statement. When I hit back, broke my husband's nose and actually FELT GOOD about it - I knew without a doubt it was time to get out. It could only get worse from there.

BWS does exist - I believe it. I also believe, like everything in the medical community, it can be overused. Which is a shame - because it can hurt, not help, those who actually do have it.

I am glad you found us Alice! I rarely fought back when I was being hurt only because it would make things worse but on the rare occasion that I did, it would feel good to hurt him just as much as I was hurting. Looking back now, I can see how someone going through BWS could kill their abusers.

I think it is modt deffinately real. A reson can not be abused for years not not be affected by it for the rest of their lives.
I was in an abusive relationship with a man for 5 years when I was in my early to mid 20's and I know it changed me physcologicaly.
I don't think every woman that kills a man should automaticly be aable to use that as an accuse though