BellaOnline Forums Family Christian Living Sometimes you SHOULD sweat the small stuff

I was reading an article in a magazine called "Homelife" put out by Lifeway. There was a comment made by a waiter who happened to be a Christian (he was waiting tables to help put himself through seminary).

He commented that fellow employees would become QUITE angry when customers, instead of leaving a monetary tip, would leave tracts on how to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Or would leave the tract with a very stingy tip (and not because the service was bad). Apperently these well intentioned Christians felt that the tract WAS the greater part of the tip.

While to a Christian that might be true, to someone who is not, this is like a slap in the face. "We're not going to tip you, oh and by the way, you're going to Hell because you're not saved. Here's how to fix that." So NOT the way to lead someone to Christ!

I've made a couple (or more) <img src="/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> of my own blunders here on this very website by being overzealous. Y'all can look them up for lessons on what not to do... <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

What are some other tips (no pun intended) you guys have?

I guess I am a little confused here. While I know the ettiquette of tipping a waiter or waitress... the truth is that they should be paid enough for the job they do and the tip should be just that ...a tip. Not a necessity to live. I realize that this is not the case with many restaurant personnel. I know that some have to have tips in order to survive. I am saying that this is not something that should be. Their salary should be adequate and they should do a decent job with or without a tip. I see FAR too many people who give [censored] service and then are miffed whenever a tip is not big enough. Even worse are restaurants that put mandatory gratuities on your bill automatically. That should be outlawed. The word gratuity itself denotes "thank you" as in "thank you for exceptional service." How often do you get "exceptional" service in this country? I don't know about the rest of you but I can answer "hardly ever". Barely minimal service is about the norm for us around here. So while I feel for folks who do not make enough to make ends meet.. I certainly do not feel compelled to leave a tip for poor service. And I would be ashamed to rant and rave if I were a restaurant employee. Who knows... the person may not have had enough to leave a tip. The point is...the tip used to be a choice. And it still should be. That's my opinion. -Jenny. P.S. When is the last time you "tipped" your child's teacher for a job well done.... MANY people in this country work in the service business and many people have salaries inadequate to the job they do.

Jenny, I wholeheartedly agree that you should not tip for poor service. You should, however, talk with the manager, (not the service person) about your poor service so that he can re-train or counsel his staff.

As to their being paid enough--well, they are not. Most waitstaff are paid in the range of $2.50 per hour by their employers. If restaurants were to raise that to even minimum wage, the cost of eating out would go up quite dramatically, and the good servers out there will not work for minimum wage. It is very demanding work and requires both skill and personality to do it well.

Tipping is a very old custom. The word tips actually means "to insure prompt service" and used to be given in advance of service.

For those who don't want to pay for the service or cannot afford to do so with a tip, there are fast food establishments which do not provide the service one would get at full-service restaurants. If you want someone to "wait on you", then you should expect to pay extra for that service, or do not patronize those establishments.

I worked in this business for several years, and I never saw a waiter or waitress "rant and rave" about the tip--at least not in front of customers. Most understand that there are people out there who are just cheap or ignorant or mean. It's usually the people who make numerous, unrealistic demands who don't tip or tip poorly. They enjoy ordering someone around, dehumanizing them and feeling superior because their demands weren't met to their satisfaction. So they don't tip.

In my experience, it was rare. Most people were nice and tipped properly, or even over-tipped. By the way, I was a teacher, supplementing my barely adequate income by waiting tables!

I mentioned in my post that that it was NOT because they didn't do a good job. And remember this comment came from a waiter who was going thru seminary so he was getting the feedback from the other waiter's "backstage". I said they were angry, not ranting and raving, but even so, they probably vented back in the kitchen to each other, most managers don't put up with a hissy fit in the main dinig room.

Yes, a tip should depend on service. This young man's point was that as Christians they were considering the tract as part of the tip- because to them this was an important piece of information. To a lost person, however, ths is just an insult. They don't want a piece of paper telling them how wrong they are, they want money!

I got those, too, and once, it was in the form of a fake $5 bill. That really annoyed me as it was the only "tip" on the table. I thought it was a cruel joke, actually, and very un-Christian-like behavior. I imagine people who don't know Jesus get a very bad impression from this kind of "Christian".

Exactly! And how hard does that make it for the next person who comes along and honestly tries to witness to them?

If someone hears the Word and chooses not to accept it, that's their choice. But if one of us offends him/her to the point that they are not willing to listen, because after all "what a hippocrite!" then don't WE take responsibility for that person's eternal life? <img src="/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Good discussion.
As for leaving tracts on the table. That may be a way of spreading the good news, but leaving one without a monetary tip is just saying Christians are cheap and wouldn't you like to be one! <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Uh-oh, I saw another "small thing" that we tend to forget about, but non-Christians notice real quick...

When you have a bumper sticker that says "I love Jesus" or the fish symbol, or anything else obviously Christian; its is not usually a good idea to flip a bird at someone in traffic! <img src="/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

<img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I'll have to remember that! <img src="/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I worked someone once where the waitresses have to give all the tips to the management and then everyone gets to split the same amount at the end of the shift. I felt that was very unfair as some waitresses work harder than others. Connie

I would never work in a place like that--it is very unfair. In an ideal world, everyone would contribute equally, but here in the real world, it doesn't work that way. You make more tips by hustling & being friendly and doing a very good job. Some people are too lazy to do that, and I don't think they should be rewarded by getting part of someone else's money!

One thing I really liked about waiting tables was that I learned how much you can affect your income every day by your attitude & energy. And, you learn to control it--leave the nasty moods and being tired somewhere else! I think it relates to life overall, and once you get that, you can achieve much more no matter what you are doing!

During high school, I worked for a fountain shop where we rotated shifts of cooking and serving. One of the girls was much better at the grill so, luckily she did most of the grilling (made me happy). <img src="/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> That meant that she did not have the same chance at tips as the rest of us, so we used a tip box and "shared" tips at the end of each shift.

Although we all had favorite customers who tipped good, it balanced out pretty well since everybody enjoyed their food and the cook did not lose out on tips. I probably would have preferred it though, if we had been allowed to be part of opening the locked box to sort the tips and split the money, instead of just letting the management handle everything. There were certain very busy days with "good" customers when the tips just weren't what we expected.

Trish