BellaOnline Forums Family Single Parents Where have all the Single Parents Gone?

Where are all the single parents? I know that we exist - in massive numbers! Stop by here and share your stories, gain encouragement, and simply express yourself! We want to hear from you!

Hello!
My name is Collette. I have been a single parent to my daughter for her whole live. She is now 14. I do think it worked best for us that I raised her on her own. I was fairly young when I had her. We practically grew up together. Her father has only recently decided to be part of her life. She has no interest (image after 14 years she has decided it is too little too late!!!? I hope the sarcasm came off in that!) I think she may come around eventually. I asked him to be patient. It's a tough situation for me to be in because I can see her point, but when I was growing up no one was more important to me than my father.

hi. im hiding behind my hurt,resentment,anger,depression,etc. my son is now 13 months his dad is no where.

Im a single parent and I must admit that while it can be challenging as you don't have that other parent to deal with the kids when they are acting up I find that it's actually not as bad as its always made out to be by the media and books. I just hate that we have certain ideas already formed about single parents. I honestly feel that its better to not be with a man who's abusive and can't be a proper parent than to stay with him for the "sake of the kids" and so that there are 2 parents.

i agree but its different

Hi, I'm a single parent of two teens, 12 and 14, girl and boy respectively. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
Kelli

Hey there. I am a single mom of two girls 10 and 7. I was divorced shortly after our second one was born. There father has no interest in being a father, even though he lives less than 30 min away. Both of my girls want a Father very much, but do not express interest in their own dad at all. (He says that is all my fault, yet he is the one that doesn't make a inch of effort)
Stacy

I am of the opinion these days that I was a single mum BEFORE, my kids dad and I split up. He didn't contribute much to raising them after they were born, leaving it all to me. It's been a tough ride!!!

hi..i am new to this forum but i am a single parent of a 4 year old

I have three kids and my divorce, three years ago now, actually brought the kids closer to their daddy. It was a little too easy for him to ignore what was going on before. Now he is very involved and although things are not good financially, I am much more happy.

that is good that he is in your childrens lives, my sons dad hasnt been in his life for years...but i think we are much better off since he has a drug problem and doesnt even acknoledge his existence

tiflyn:

I have discovered that many sinlge parents go through stages...denial, hope for reconciliation, and then all the things you listed above.

The hurt, bitterness, anger, reentment phase is the hardest to overcome. Mine lasted about 1 year. My mothers has now lasted 20 years and is still ongoing.

It helped me to focus on what I did wrong and try to fix it instead of dwelling on what he did wrong. It was easy at first to say, "I never did anything" but little things started making sense.

I wouldn't do the dishes..sounds silly but loking back I can see how much that annoyed my ex, so I do them now. I watched too much TV...I don't own one now. I was too controling and pushed my views on him...I've backed off around other people and let them have their own opinions.

It is VERY hard. I am not sure if you are a religious person or not but if you are prayer really does help. I have pleaded with Heavenly Father many times to help me through some trials and as long as I did all I could things would always seem to just work out.

((((HUGS))))

Welcome to all of you! It is good to hear from so many different moms in so many different areas! Hopefully we will be able to help each other!

Hi everyone. I am new to this forum, but had to post a message to all you single parents.
YOU CAN DO IT. I am a mother of 22 and 19 year old girls and I have raised them mostly on my own. It has been a challenge, but much better than living in a terrible relationship.
Ask for help when needed. Take a break if you can. Count to 10 or even 1000 when you think you are about to lose it. And look at your beautiful child, or children and know that you are doing what is best for them and you also.
"I will survive"!!!!!!!

Hi, Jane! And Welcome! Thank you for the encouragement! I hope that you will share more of your own success story. I have daughters 16 and 20 and have raised them on my own since the youngest was born. As you said, it is never easy, but it is very rewarding! Again, welcome to the group!

Cynthia

Thank you for the welcome. I find it hard to believe that my girls are as old as they are. My oldest is now a mother herself to a very active 19 month old.
I think the hardest struggle I faced was the financial strain(I have just started in the last year and a half to get child support!!!!!). I was able to work, but 1 income never seemed to keep us above water. My girls learned to accept hand-me-down clothes, and we shopped in thrift stores if necessary. I was lucky to have many kind people who would help out when needed.
If you are able to explain things to your children, without playing mean or dirty(in regards to your ex), I think you will find that they are more understanding than we know.
Have a great day all, and be strong.

Tiflyn
Please do not hide...you are not alone...(hugs) if ok...

Hi I am a single pareant of 3 wonderful girls. There father has not interest in there lives. I am doing the best that I can. Trying to find a spot where I can find support

Another newbie here & a single Mom too of a wonderful son whom is 20 yrs old. I've raised him completely on my own his whole life, no Father at all. Yep, if you want to know about that then let me know plz. Anyway, he is now in his 3rd year at ASU after he received an academic scholarship in high school. It wasn't easy, raising him, but I'm as proud as I could ever be of him.

Jol

Im a almost 20 year old single mom to an almost 2 year old daughter.Its hard being young and raising a kid while working too.I also HATE my daughters father.Weve tried repeatedly to get along but hes just done too much too forgive & Im so stressed by all the bullshit.We split up when she was a newborn bcuz I found out he cheated on me while I was pregnant & Ive hated him ever since..weve been to court twice..did the child support thing..& now Im just annoyed of getting him to pay me on time..Im about to have it directly deposited but Im kinda iffy about that considering he changes jobs so much..what do yall think?Im planning on cutting off all ties to see if he even will go out of his way and show me he even WANTS to see his daughter.I just wanted help raising her and he cant even do that.He just wants to drink and go to strip clubs.What a loser huh.
Im sooo stressed out and wish I wouldve never met him & had all these problems.

Is anybody there that has a similar situation?

And also..are there any of you single moms with toddlers who just COMPLETELY get on ur nerves sometimes?Like I can NOT STAND my daughter 90% of the time..shes such a brat & it keeps getting worse..I also have NO patience with her at ALL.I work full time and am only with her after 6 so it shouldnt be such a big problem & yet it is.

Any advice?

I am a single parent of 4, there all adults now. We did well without there dad. I even get cards for fathers days, not just mothers day, My children say I did great as both mom and dad.