BellaOnline Forums Travel and Culture Japanese Culture Myth of Subservient Japanese Women

I run some Japanese sites on my own, because I love the culture. It amazes me how many men come because they're looking for a meek servant Japanese woman whose only role in life is to pleasure them and make them meals! I know several Japanese women, and they certainly aren't doormats ...

I realise this is a terribly old discussion but this topic fascincates me and I just stumbled. I have been avoiding work all day and plan to continue to look for terribly fascinating things to occupy me, hehe.

Are the Japanese women younger women? Many of our grandmother's(or great) might be called subservient or submissive but many women of my generation certainly are not! I think people tend to look at an older era in general in reference to this.

That being said, I very much was under the impression that an older Korean couple I know of had very strict roles for behaviours. I was shocked when I realised the wife was giving the husband a good tongue lashing in the kitchen. I later discovered that he felt it very important to make efforts towards his wife's happiness and that he did not always win arguments.

I have realised that this particular woman learned the art of allowing her husband to be the head of the house particularly in public but would discuss her issues with him in private. He in turn respected her opinion and need to have some control of her home and life. I could certainly respect this but it's not always how I have seen Asian women and marriages portrayed in books and movies.

I remember the first time I told a neighbor that I was from mississippi. He told me that he'd send his wife over to learn real homecooking. For some reason he had the idea that southern women were all submissive, meek, housewives!

I really think that it's the older generation, where women really were submissive, that has set the stereo types for asian and southern women. There are many men (and surprisingly some women too)who wish that we were back in the age before women were allowed to vote, or really have any rights or responsibilities (besides having babies).

When I was single, I was constantly being hit on by men who had this erroneous idea about southern women. Luckily I met my husband, who realized that if he treated me like a doormat, I'd stomp on him and leave <img src="/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I am from south Louisiana but am now living in south Mississippi. I am acutely aware of the varying beliefs about what southern women should be. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

It is just people and their culture/ customs. I studied a lot on asian culture and am learning as a go on (even though i'm really young, i understand this topic). But things are changing, we are entering into a new era of life, a new generation. I, myself am asian. I am half filipino(my mom is filipino) and half samoan(my dad is samoan). In my house, my mom runs the show. But still my father is not bossed around. Anyways, the world has changed, many woman are not subservient, anymore...only in certain places.

Anyways, i think i lost what i was saying.

I hadn't even thought of that, but that's very true. When many people think of a "Southern US Woman" they think of a soft, quiet woman with a drawl that makes lemonade, keeps the house clean. She might have a bit of spunk when you're dating, like Scarlett in Gone with the Wind, but in the end she's supposed to be submissive after being "tamed".

I like that doormat analogy a lot. It's not that I think women should be better than men or anything like that! But a woman should be respected, and her opinion should be *as* important as the man's. Not better, and certainly not worse. She shouldn't be expected to put down all of her own hopes, fears and desires and just kneel by the guy, waiting for his next command.

Yea, true. I just finished expanding my learning on Southern US Woman in the 1930s. I just finished reading the book: Harper Lee's To Kill a Mockingbird. It was an ok book.

Many things are changing and are changed. Woman are becoming more dominant. But still i don't think that we will ever be fully the equal of men. Its not like one day a woman can run for president.

Anyways, i agree with you. It depends on yourself if you will let yourself be bossed around by another (meaning a man). Thats what "can" make you become subservient.

Thats how japanese woman end up becoming subservient. Some of them are quiet and don't speak up, letting their husband or whatever, boss them around.

However, things are changing, that is my main point.

It is me again with my so "popular" opinions. <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> You should never be only guided by the "exactly the same importance for male/female opinion" thought. Let me explain myself. You should only be guided by this in situations where you're equal. Then - yes. When a man or a woman has a better knowledge in something, then his/her opinion counts more. Hope you agree with this. If my wife does the cooking for example and I tell her "put butter in there!" and tells me "no, it will spoil it!", her opnion counts more, since she knows it better. Silly example, but I hope it shows nicely what I intend to say. If you, all your life are obsessed with equality in opinions, sometimes, some really bad decisions may come out.

By the way, in S.Korea in most cases, women are treated like dirt. Not good, but it is in present days.

Yes, in situations where one person has more knowledge, than it makes sense to rely on that knowledge. But you should never assume that one or the other *has* more knowledge or influence just because they're male or female. I know many women that maintain their own cars, and in my family my boyfriend does ALL the cooking. So to choose based on knowledge is completely fair, and that's all that I was saying. Don't say the guy always gets final word just because he's male <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

S. Saturn, I bet we have a woman running for president in the next 10 years and that one will win <img src="/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> We already have many women governors, many women senators and representatives. Many CEOs of major corporations are women. They've already proven they can handle leadership. In many cases, the women were much better than the man for whom they took over. They almost have to be, because they have to 'prove themselves' just because they have female body parts instead of male ones. The brain inside that body is just as capable.

Anyway, it still kills me that a mere 100 years ago women were being denied college, because they weren't "smart enough" to be able to absorb advanced college teachings!! And now in today's society, *over half* of all college kids are female. Meaning there are more women in college than men.

**nods head as reading the previous reply**

I see, well, i think i'm done in this topic. I think its cool that the Philippines, their president is a woman. Now that is something.