so just wanted to give an update to anyone who cares to listen. Ive been completely obsessed with getting pregnant ever since this happened. I think I got my period on march 19th (only 9 days after the procedure so not sure if i really did or not) and if thats the case and i am pregnant now it will be due christmas eve, not really what i would have wanted in the beginning but i really dont care about that stuff now i just want to get pregnant. i bought ovulation tests and have been taking them every day for the past 2 weeks and none of them have been positive so i just dont know what is going on with my body right now and its frustrating.
ive always wanted a little girl and now that i have a boy i really want a girl now even more. i would have found out the sex last week if i was still pregnant. instead i found out yesterday when the results came back, it was a girl. i had my girl and now she is gone. i hate this whole situation it just sucks so bad. i am still so depressed and i know until i see a positive pregnancy test i wont be happy. why do these things have to happen?
so back to the test-we had a chromosome test done, they tested the placenta and the chromosomes for genetic issues. thankfully everything came back normal, nothing wrong with the placenta and normal chromosomes. it just makes me wonder if i did something wrong even though the doctor says i didnt. i know i probably had too much caffeine at times, which i really cut back to practically none, maybe one pop every other day or something and i did have one of those tiny styrofoam cups of coffee one or two occasionally but not very often; but now i have given it up completely because i want no excuse for this to happen again. i already told my husband that i dont want to have sex after we get pregnant because ive heard that if youve had a miscarriage that you may want to shy away from sex in some cases. i was vomiting alot from morning sickness and sometimes i would make myself because it was the only thing that would make me feel better(sorry if too much info); but i know alot of women get sick in the first trimester so i dont think that could have done any harm. The only thing that really makes sense is that there was something physically wrong with the baby and it was 'just one of those things'. i am just completely obsessed with this whole thing that i think about it all day long.
when i see other women that are pregnant i feel so jealous and angry at the same time. i dont like seeing babies because it makes my heart hurt knowing i should be 20 wks pregnant right now, i should be feeling the baby kick and be showing enough that it is obvious that im pregnant, but instead theres nothing. no kicks, no bump. thank God i have my little boy to put joy in my life, or i would really be a mess.
is it just me or do any of you feel this obsession with wanting to know everything about what happened and with getting pregnant again? i just feel helpless and hopeless; i dont even know what to do with myself anymore.
