I wrote this in the vision issues forum and thought I'd carry the theme over here.

I am trying to help people shake the stigma that there is something wrong if you are low income. Low income does not make someone 'lesser', just like the wealthy are not 'better'.

What do you think? Do you hide your 'poorness'? Do you look down on people who are low income and receiving assistance?

Do you feel embarrased or ashamed of your low income?

If you are not low-income, do you worry that being frugal or shopping at thrift stores will brand you as 'poor'?

Nope.

Because I help those who are just as poor as me everyday.

Everyone has been rich, poor, humble, proud, vain, smart, ugly, beautiful and every race color and creed...

Planet Earth is a schoolroom.

take this test:

http
://www.hsperson.com/pages/test.htm

Hi Jilly:

How about ZERO income(lol).

Yes, I have not made any income (commissions or freelancing) since 12/10/11, but God is in CONTROL!!!

My challenge, going home every day knowing I have nothing to contribute to our household and watching him come home from work, tired, been on his feet 12 hours sometimes at age 58. Here I am 53, able to work and...

But I keep coming into the office to do my freelancing and help Mr. Wonderful (my challenging boss, splitting commissions with him, selling life insurance) = knowing that my BLESSINGS are coming...

Hugs,
A

Jilly, I live in a low income housing project been here for 37yrs now
And my only income is a disability check once a month
I am glad to have a roof over my head and be able to pay the rent
I'm not ashamed I'm grateful for what i have

Right, Rosie. It's better to be happy and content that one has a warm place to live.

I'd rather be peaceful in a little tent than miserable in a mansion.

I don't look down on people who are low-income, and I never really had a lot of money myself. My situation has gotten much worse in the past couple of years, and I am unemployed with lots of bills to pay. I am in the same boat as a lot of people these days.

Sometimes I am embarrassed with my situation. It is not my fault, but I have always been one to pay my own way. It is a responsibility issue to me. At this time I owe some really nice people money, and it bothers me that I can't pay them. One such person is the farm owner who cares for my horses. Month after month my debt builds up, and I can't give her anything for the current month either.

Not being able to pay someone you owe but really wanting to pay them, that is very hard for me to deal with. I think it takes a hit to my pride and self-respect. After a while I wonder if someone will believe me when I say that I'm doing my best, and that I will definitely pay when I can. People can only wait so long and have patience for so long.

It sure can be a hard situation to deal with when you are unemployed or have limited income. I have learned to live with much less, and that is ok with me, but I would at least like to be able to pay my obligations comfortably and not feel like I am in a hopeless situation.

it is really hard on the self esteem to not be able to pay others! I agree. I wonder if you can do something to help out at the stable while you wait to be able to pay? Just to show good faith?

I had to relocate due to my divorce and I now live an hour and 10 minutes away from my horses. I can't afford to move them closer to me at this time, and board is more expensive where I am living now. There are not as many horse farms here either, so finding work at one of the stables is next to impossible. I have done that in the past though....worked off the cost of board at a horse farm.

I guess you kinda live too far now to really help out physically, even as a volunteer. I wonder if you can offer some other kind of help, like making a blog or facebook page for the stable, or writing a few press releases. You could even just do that for free, not to necessarily 'work off' your debt, just to show good faith? I don't know. Maybe in your situation that is not appropriate.

I'd hate to see you lose your horses. You've lost so much else recently. I don't want to see you go through that pain.

Debbie, what is the news on your horse situation?

I have received help to catch up with my board from some loving people and a few horse rescue agencies. The farm owner is on my butt every month to check on my payment status, because I can only pay at the end of the month for the current month now, and even that is hard to come by without help from my mother, who is not well to do. I don't have much more time to go on like this.

I am trying to free lease my younger horse with the option to buy. That means they will use the horse for a while and assume responsibility for her monthly expenses, hopefully like her, and want to buy her. If that situation does not work out I will consider giving her away, in hopes that I can still hang on to my elder horse. I really can't afford my animals without a job. My options are pretty tapped out.

Thanks for asking, Jilly.

Debbie, I am so glad your rescue groups are helping out. I know how terrible it feels to struggle to feed your companion animals! I really am rooting for life to throw you a bone here. It's time for something unexpectedly good to happen for you. I think something will. You are due!

Jilly....thanks for your kind words.

My deceased boyfriend's father is in the hospital and had to undergo major surgery. He is almost 87. His 86 year old wife can barely walk so I have been taking her to the hospital almost every day for the past few weeks (I live in their in-law apt). So my time is not my own for a lot of my day, because I am caring for her, running her errands that used to be done by her husband, and pushing her in a wheelchair around the hospital. That cuts into my job search time, and I desperately need to find a job. They have been good to me, so I really need to help them, but like how it so often goes my needs are being put last right now.

The horse rescues helped in the early part of the year and I won't ask again for assistance. Too many horses need help and I appreciate what they have done for me. I am getting close to placing one of my horses soon, and I hope I can keep my other one. It is tough because I am truly out of options and I feel like more of what I love is slipping away from me.

I am not feeling sorry for myself, but yes, I am due for a little good luck. Thanks again, Jilly.

I wanted to reiterate to anyone who is reading along that thre is NOTHING shameful about being poor. You can live a very full, richly experienced and happy life without amassing money or consumer goods.

I actually think it's easier now than in the last few generations to live better on less income. What do you guys think?

Happiness is an inside job.

The support and information you provide is so helpful to one looking to live a richly experienced and happy life.

Jilly,

I think since the financial crisis of 2008 nearly everyone's perspective has changed. Consumerism and materialism seem to have diminished and people show more respect for each other, regardless of their economic situation.

Yes, so true, Jilly. In fact, in a happiness study, the happiest people did not live in the wealthiest countries of the world.

There are completely fulfilled and happy people among ascetics, like nuns and monks, who take vows of poverty.

Most of us are unhappy when we compare our statuses to those of the rich and famous. We confuse our wants with our needs, and many of us need to redefine what a true need is.

People think I am nuts because I do not work just for the money. In fact, yesterday I made the decision not to substitute teach anymore. I love the children but do not love the work. I thought I don't want to waste a single minute of my life doing something that brings me angst. My sister is angry because she says I need the money. Hey, I have food, clothing, shelter, technology, etc. just not at the level others here in OC think is the "best."

I am content and grateful. I don't think about cash. I think about what I need and want, and it comes into my life. My life is filled with the joy of experiences and discovery--not yearning for what I do not own.

Lori, I admire your attitude. Jilly, a warm place to live in winter gives a lot of satisfaction so other lesser things are not a priority.

Thank you, Susan. But at my age, I fully realize that we don't take much with us when we move onto the next phase of existence.

It seems silly to gather what we will not take. I gather what I will bring with me: knowledge, experiences, feelings, memories.

Such an important point and so true, Lori. You can't take it with you anyway. I came to realize that as well very suddenly after losing my sweet boyfriend last year. All the material things he had owned stayed behind, and what mattered to me the most, the affection and love from him every single day, has gone to another place. The objects you can touch are in the end not important at all.

I just barely make it paycheck to paycheck, with the increased taxes, medical insurance, and only making minimum wage for 35 hours a week. I haven't made this little money in 20 years, but when I sit and think about what I do have I realize that I am very blessed and that God is watching out for me and taking care of me. I don't need a lot to survive, and there are much more important things in life than what money can buy.

You are a very special person, Debbie. You worded this sentiment beautifully.

I am so sad that you are without the physical presence of your boyfriend.

However, as you have experienced, he is very much nearby and he seems so much happier after being released from his earthly concerns. He feels he is of more help to you now than when he was in the physical, though, for some reason.

I have a feeling that soon you will be inspired to do something, write something, that will help others while improving your own financial situation.

Dear Jilly

Went to your original post,to really understand what the subject is.
Since my retirement 2years ago,never lived as well as I do now.
Just went tody to the community center to try to find a phone with a cord.
There were none.Went to a store where people go there because prices are cheap.
Found a beautiful one for 10$.The one I have now is an expensive wireless one
Someone gave me brand new.With another unit for another room.I am going to give it away.Made my shopping this week,not one item was not on sale for the week.
Most people in the village I live in are sure I am rich.People make clothes,clothes do not make people.

There is a problem of low self-esteem when people are ashamed of having low income.When I enter a place. Ifeel like a rich man.

To finish being happy,a smile on ones face,showing confidence,peoplewill think you have made it.

My car has 180,000 miles on it,it iis a 1997 Toyota.far from being a rich man,s car .
Loong

Sandra, I think you are completely correct about the poor economy in general taking the stigma away from being low income. It's just a matter of fact thing now, a way of life.

I think there is a greater sense of 'all being in this together'- of less trying to outdo each other, and more of encouraging everyone to get by.

Lori, as far as spirituality, poverty has always been symbolic as a virtue. I'm not sure where that comes from, but being happy because of the important things in life SHOULD supersede the quest for toys.

Everyone, it really is interesting that we covet all kinds of expensive things without regarding the return on investment.
For example. How expensive is a set of quads, an expensive motorhome, or jet skis, if you use them only twice a year? We have to maintain these things, store them, clean them and transport them, add gas and oil to them...for very little ROI. They own US.

If your family's lifestyle is based around watersports and jet skis, maybe it's worthwhile. Say you use the jetskis five times a year. I still think it's still a very expensive item per use.

Everyone has the right to choose what brings him or her joy so long as it does not infringe upon the rights of others. This right adds to the richness of the diversity of life.

We see what others have chosen and decide for ourselves if that is what we want or not.

I like your other post about people eating out then crying poor. It really is about choices, isn't it?

I choose not to feel shamed by my income. Rich, poor. It's all only temporary experiences. My income is not a reflection of my worth or value. I have enjoyed experiencing being both.

I like that. Income should not define us, either way. We are far more than that. Our worth doesn't come from our money.

Lori....thank you. I have experienced death many times in my family before, the closest to me being my father, but nothing compared to losing my boyfriend, whom I loved like he was my husband. That experience brought me to my knees last year, and I am still trying to make a new life and a new reality for myself. It is true what they say, that you will never be the same, or be able to go back to who you were before the great loss.

Because of my experience, my priorities and values have been more clearly defined for me. The important things in my life are few and very powerful, love being the most important and the most real for me, for it never dies and it feeds the soul like nothing else. Yes, I need money for basic necessities, but I find that I can live with so much less than I ever thought I could.

Jilly.....you are right, we are not defined by the money we have or do not have. I find that having less makes me more focused on what really matters to me in life, what is internal and eternal.

This is a great topic.

Thank you, Debbie. That is a beautiful post.

I keep being reminded about how badly off people have things these days. And right now the US government can't afford to keep the national parks open. Sort of.

We are still amid hard times in this country, and there is no shame in admitting to financial suffering.

My goal is to show that we can be just as happy living on less. A whole lot less.

Our disposable mentality no longer applies to modern living.

There is NO shame in regards to materialism or how little one has to live off of.

However, I caution, "The Gov't not being "able" to afford to keep the parks "open" even after meditation, feels far from what it seems.

What it feels like moreso is to make things "uncomfortable" for the people until either they give up or blame something other than what it is...I feel to keep an "birds-eye's" perspective on this. It feels more like a "Blame-game" coming on for shortages and long-lines.

We still have eachother!!!


And Jilly! The goal is pure in itself of what it is you stand for. The power of Unitedness and the People - heads and chin up and insync w/one another, that's the Spirit of the Dove on Eagle's wings."

The problem is this is how we ALL were raised, even if your parents or teachers didn’t say this to you directly, you’ve seen it or heard stories like this.

A talented young person says: “I want to spend the rest of my life painting, writing, being a volunteer in another country…” and the adult figure—or perhaps it’s a spouse or significant other says: “Are you crazy? Only a bum/loser would do such a thing. You will never make any money!! Go to college, major in accounting/engineering/law/nursing get a “good” job and do your art on the side…”

If this has not been said to you, you have heard it, or seen it and most likely on some level you’ve come to believe it—even if you do not want to believe it. I don’t want to believe it myself, but alas my conditioning/brainwashing was very thorough.

Because of this message that we all received on some level, we have come to measure our character, our self worth based on whether or not we’ve achieved “The American Dream” where we are wealthy by way of a lucrative job or business.

I remember once years ago as a young stay-at-home mom, I felt less than my peers who were working full-time. I had never worked so hard in my entire life, my children were thriving, yet I felt like a complete failure and slacker because of the brainwashing/conditioning I’d received my entire life that told me I was supposed to always be making money.

We have got to change the message. It used to be that you were guaranteed entre into the middle class if you had a degree. I think it’s safe to say we can kiss those days goodbye--forever. We have to give a different message to young people. We must tell young people to pick careers not based on money but rather because they enjoy doing it. Also we should tell young people that there is an ebb and flow to life, material things come and go.

As Lori said in an early post we should advise the young to focus on collecting things that will stay with them forever—like warm memories of time spent with friends and family, spiritual fulfillment, and love. A house can be foreclosed on at any time and it can happen to anyone, but what is inside of each of us can never be taken away.

Also I think we should go back to multiple generations living under one roof, which is a topic for another discussion. This post is already way too long:)

Excellent posts, Karen and Leah!

Leah, I think we are definitely moving in the direction of multi-generations under one roof again - with the economy being so difficult for people, I see this happening more and more. My husband's actually has four generations living under one roof. FOUR!

And right now he and I are living with my parents.

If people can live in peace this way, it's a great way to save money. The peace part is hard sometimes...

Leah Mullen,

That was one of the most beautiful and in-depth posts of honesty I have ever seen !

It is not long-winded it is an astute observation of how we are conditioned into foolishness !

I share the same sentiments.

Bravo !

-- Burt B.