How is money handled in your marriage? Is it a major cause of fighting?

Give your thoughts and experiences!

My husband and I have been married for 20 years and money was a huge issue! He had guilt issues with his children from his first marriage (who lived with us) and he spent money on them to ease that guilt. He also was a shop-a-holic so we ended up in huge debt over the years, despite my efforts to curb it all.

We were lucky in that we sold some property for a big sum, paid off the debts and moved to a cheaper area and now the kids are grown. With retirement looming, my husband now sees the error of his ways and is trying to be conservative. After our past experience, I won't allow us to go into debt again and I handle the money!

My advice is to discuss all this before you get married and watch your intended for signs that they are bad with money. If they don't have good money habits, at least get them to let you handle the money side. My stepdaughter is conservative and her husband isnt' so they keep their money separate.

There is a lot of resentments built up when one partner drives you into debt. I've tried to teach my own daughter, who isn't married yet, to really look at those issues, even when she's dating someone.

Joan

I always say that money isn't an issue in my marriage, but when i look back on things i see that the subject has come up often and not in a good way!
My husband is reckless with money, and loves to spend. He has even spent money in the past that was 'ours' without consulting me. At that point, i decided that i didn't trust him with money and now we pay for things more or less equally. That works well for stuff like the mortgage, food, bills etc, but less well when it comes to holidays and so on. If i want to go on holidays together, i either have to let him know about six months in advance (so he can save up) or pay for the whole thing myself. He has NO savings of his own.
I think that this is bad for our marriage overall; i resent feeling like i have to be the responsible one all the time. He never has to worry about a 'rainy day' because i've saved up quite a bit of money, and he knows that i will sort things out if anything disastrous happens. I feel that at the age of 38 he should be a bit more responsible when it comes to money, and am glad that we decided to be childfree. At least i don't have to worry about supporting kids as well. Come to think of it, i feel sometimes like i have one big kid already....

There have been some stress and arguments over the years regarding finances but I don't see it as a big issue in our marriage overall.

I manage our home and daily finances but my husband has the final say in matters as the head of our house.