Need a friend - 02/01/08 04:08 AM
Im new to this site and just need someone to talk too. I had a miscarriage back in November. I got pregant while I was visiting my husband in Pakistan. I am trying to get my husband to the US so I stay for 6 months. When we found out I was pregnant we were so exicted. But a week after returning home, I began to bleed since it was a sunday i had to wait to see the doctor. I went the next day. My bleeding was light but it was like i had gotten my period. They did an ultrasound and learn that i had miscarriage. I try to handle it the best i could. It wasnt easy for me, I had to call my husband and tell him the bad news. My husband try to make me feel better but he knew how desvasted I was. A week before i came home i had an ultrasound in Pakistan and the doctor say everything looks great. She never caught that our baby was measured 7 weeks and not the 14 weeks that he was. After i was told about the miscarriage they took me back to the exam room right across another room where a woman was hearing her baby heart beat. I was trying so hard to be strong. They didnt do the d&c that day because of a bleeding disorder I have, and i was told that my body was taking care of the fetus. 4 days later, I started herromaging and had to have an emergacy d&c. I need up in the hospital that night. I thought that have I been coping well with it. Once in a while, i think about it and start crying. Wondering what i did wrong, if never left to come back to the US would i still be having my baby. It gets worst when i see other women pregnant or if I am out shopping and see new babies. One time i broke down crying because of a movie i saw. The woman in the movie asking why u can love someone so much that u just met. She was hold a newborn. Some of my relatives try not to mention any of it. But, today i went to my uncle's sub shop. His wife was working and say she going to be a grandma, i was shock at first and then say congrates. But when i got home i just broke down and cried. I been crying off and on. I am happy for her son and his wife, but there a part of me that want to tell god off. I know it was his will, but i still feel its not fair. I been a good person as long as i can remember but to hear that he gave a another couple a baby, just upset me. He took my baby back. I feel so bad, that i feel this way. Im not sure if there is another woman out there has experince. If anyone has please tell me how to handle it.