I really need support...anybody there!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted By: angelbaby

I really need support...anybody there!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 09/03/06 10:34 PM

Hi again to everyone.
Hoping that everyone is doing much better...unfortunately I'm still feeling really low...sometimes I feel like I don't know which way to turn...I've read through all the accounts on this forum and my thoughts are with every one of you and I'll try my best to help each other through...I haven't had much response and have therefore felt lost again...Thanks to those of you who have sent me advice and your best wishes...I know that it may be difficult for many of you to write to others and find it easier just to read through the experiences...But if there are some of you out there who can...I would really appreciate your support. It's approaching my due date and I really need Help, advice, understanding...people who understand me!!!
x-x-x <img src="/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />
Posted By: Angel06

Re: I really need support...anybody there!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 09/04/06 03:34 AM

I am here for you if you ever need to talk just write me. I know what you are going through. I always need someone to talk to. I think my friends are sick of hearing it from me cause they do not know what it is like. I am always waiting to talk about it. The guy I was seeing didn't ever know about it cause I didn't think he should so I have no one to talk to about it. If you ever need to talk just email me or write on here I get on here everynight looking for replies or new people to help out. My thoughts are with you and take care of yourself!!!
Posted By: Reality

Re: I really need support...anybody there!!!!!!!!! - 09/04/06 09:54 AM

I am here for you as well. I know how hard it is to go through it alone and I'll try to be here for you as much as I can also. I think we both need someone to lean on. Even though my miscarriage was over a year ago I think about it everyday. It's so sad, because I watch things on the news about how teenage girls give birth in bathrooms, drown their baby, and just walk away. Or some crackhead shakes their baby because they won't stop crying. And I can't help but think why were they able to be blessed with a child and mine was taken? I can't even stand to see pregnant people. It makes me so sad. I think what has made it all worse for me is an old "friend" of mine. We were kind of talking around the time I miscarried last year and she knew that I had lost my baby and had been taking it very hard. She called me up not even a week after I lost the baby to let me know she was baby shopping for her cousin who was at the time six months pregnant with a girl. I hadn't talked to her since. But lately she has been trying to get ahold of me and since I won't talk to her she calls my family now to let them know she's pregnant and having a girl and blah blah. The thing that makes it worse is I know she is just doing it to rub salt in my wound because she's caddy like that. She's just trying to say "Haha I'm having a baby and you're not!" I cannot believe how mean your so called friends can be to you after something this tramatic has happened... Like you posted in my thread, I am glad you have your sister who understands. I guess she is proof that no matter how many years pass and how many children you do end up having, you never really "get over it."

Just know I am here for you if you ever need a shoulder.
Posted By: Erika Lyn Smith

Re: I really need support...anybody there!!!!!!!!! - 09/04/06 09:48 PM

Have you contacted the National Share office?

Share- Pregnancy and infant loss support
The mission of Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support, Inc. is to serve those whose lives are touched by the tragic death of a baby through early pregnancy loss, stillbirth, or in the first few months of life.

Here is the link to the website.

They have great literature, message boards, and local support groups and activities that you might find helpful as your due date approaches.

SHARE was a lifeline for me during the initial dark days after my first two sons died in utero.
Posted By: angelbaby

Re: Thank you.....x-x-x - 09/05/06 11:47 AM

Thank you so much, both of you, for your mail. I really appreciate you taking the time to write.

I'm sure that I'll be mailing you often; I really find it helps to be talking to people who understand what I'm going through. I'm always here also if you ever need advice, a chat or to let of steam about something!!!
Take care. x-x-x

Reality: I'm really sorry about your so called 'friend', I can't believe some people. I have a sister in law (brother's wife: 2nd marriage), who herself has been through 2miscarriages (with 1st husband) at 6&7months. When I found out that my baby had 'no heartbeat', I called my sis (husband was at always off!!!) we then returned home, told my mum, then called my brother (didn't want him to think he was the last to know; he has a complex like that), I also specifically asked of him not to tell the children as I would tell my little girl in my own time, my sisters youngest 2 aged 13 and 10 also had no idea. Anyhow he came with his wife; his son; her daughter (who is the same age as my little girl and in the same class at school). That day they seemed so sympathetic (my brother is usually quite good in a crisis). He kept saying that they needed to �get it out� that I should call the hospital, that they couldn�t expect me to �carry it� any longer�I told him that it wasn�t a bad tooth that needed pulling �out�. Although I got 2tx�s from him that night, one asking how I was; one asking sarcastically if mum was over reacting!! I never heard from them for the next couple of days�while I was in hospital the next couple of days they were unaware, they were too busy sight seeing (his wife is relatively new into the country!!!). Now I know that he�s a brother and has his own life, but we�ve always been close (until he married this woman!). When I gave birth to my little girl (he was still married to wife No1), she had breathing problems and was in special care unit for a few days, he was by my side (more than my husband), he cried with me, supported me�he was by big bro!!! This time�well she (wife) planned to go to the Zoo, so they did. They never called or anything. On the Sunday (last saw him Thursday), he was meeting up with my dad, he was then told and came to see me. Sunday night I came out of hospital and the whole family came to my family home. My brother came down saying that we should call my nephew down (sis�s son) as he�s telling my little girl about the baby��I said well that�s funny because he doesn�t even know�. Well against my wishes they had told my nephew Bro�s son and step daughter�my sisters children were told by them� but didn�t have the courage to ask us if it was true, so all weekend they were unsure and continued with this knowledge alone! My sis�s boy wasn�t telling my little girl, but my brother was over exaggerating. I told them that they were wrong in not respecting my wishes in not telling their own children until my daughter was told�his wife replied that it doesn�t make any difference to her daughter anyway�I was so hurt�I know that the reality is that her daughter is 6, yes it probably doesn�t make a difference to her, but if she had told my little girl while at school it would�ve made a lot of difference. Anyway they left that day�For the next week we did not see each other as I stayed home (my mum brought my little girl to school and back for me. Later that week I told my little girl and Tuesday was her first day back at school after being told, also the first day I took her to school. I was on my way to the school office to notify them, of what had happened, just in case my little girl got upset at school. We came face to face with sister-in-law, but she walked straight past me, not even acknowledging me. I was walking with one of the other mum�s from class who even said good morning to her, who she ignored also. I couldn�t believe it. I sent my brother a TX saying that he should teach his wife some �humanity�!!! I was so upset. Despite the grief and hard times I was going through, she had gone back to my brother and told him that I had ignored her!!! They never attended my babies funeral, which also upset me�don�t get me wrong, I didn�t want her there anyway but I am very hurt with my brother�So family can be just as hurtful as so called friends�My mother/father-in-law also didn�t attend the funeral (we don�t talk but my husband asked them to come, which with all honesty would have broken the ice between us), they should have come for their son�mother-in-laws comment was it wasn�t a baby yet anyhow-just a piece of flesh! This is what I�ve had to deal with, on top of everything�My brother up to date still doesn�t speak with me directly and recently refused to even come to my house to pick his son up (sister in law No1 had brought him along)�I can�t believe that people can be so insensitive as to add to my grief in this way� (I know that usually my brother wouldn�t act in this way)�

Well thanks again for reading on and listening����
Best wishes to you all
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