When you get a present, or get invited over for dinner, do you send a thank you note? Not an email, but an actual paper thank you note?

Not for dinner. I do try to text people and occasionally send cards out. But dinner I normally would return the complement, and say thankyou on the night I went.

I do think cards are a lovely way of saying thankyou though.
I tend to thank people for help by sending a card.

I am ashamed to admit I do not do that very often anymore. I usually call or send an email to say thank you. However, I am one of the first to jump up and say email has taken away from courtesies we used to exhibit on a daily basis.

Thanks for bringing this to my attention, Lisa. I am going to try to start sending personal thank you cards again. I have a very old card sorter, Victorian type, that I would keep cards in, so I would always have one available. Whenever I was out shopping, if I saw a card for any occasion that I liked, I would buy it and put it in my organizer. I am going to go get it out right now.

I do send thank you cards, i buy them at the dollar store. i also stock up on thinking of you cards to send to my grand daughters, n friends. i can't afford long distance phone calls, so i enjoy keeping in touch with cards!

Usually I just send an email, so I am just as bad. I do love getting real physical notes

I was reading a book recently on Green Chic that was talking about ways to be polite inexpensively. It was talking about sending recycled paper notes. It made me think how my mother complains if she gives someone a present and they don't send her a physical note in return. But then I don't think she sends physical notes for gifts or dinners herself.

Email and e-cards are certainly cool, but there's something about getting a real actual physical note in your hands And I do have a set of cards right here in the drawer that I could use ...

I do send thank you notes for gifts and dinners/meals I actually attend, more often than not in the form of e-cards. Cards and postage are too expensive.

If its a dinner I was invited too but opted not to attend, I RSVP (usually by phone - thank goodness for Vonage - one rate no charges for long distance).

I tend to send emails if thatis the persons prefered method of communications. I have even been known to send a thank you txt message to someone if thats how they communicate.

I do like the thank you note.. not a cheesy pre-printed THANK YOU note.. but one where you take the time and get a nice stationary card and do it yourself.

Before the Internet, I had always sent thank you notes for dinners, especially if it was the first time we had gotten together. Although I now send an email more often than a note, I think that a hand-written note is definitely more special and that is what I use when a host/hostess has really rolled out the red carpet for us.

I have been noticing that letter-writing is becoming a thing of the past. In fact, I am beginning to think that cursive writing itself may soon become a lost art. There are many students today who never use cursive writing at all. I wouldn't be surprised if it is eliminated from school curriculums soon.

I eagerly await the death of cursive writing.

I'm left handed, and was taught to write exclusively by right handed people... both print and cursive. The result is a woman with poor penmanship who doesn't "hold the pen right for a leftie." It's mentioned to me at least once every few weeks. (I work with the public, so a lot of different people see me write.)

My print is decent, if I'm not in too much of a hurry, but my cursive is and always has been horrendous. When I was in elementary school, cursive writing was one of the grades on the report card. I was kept off the honor roll for my penmanship multiple times. Lots of A's, an occasional B, and a steady C in cursive writing (My teachers were kind and generous). By the time I reached high school, I was no longer forced to use cursive, so I stopped. Completely. I refused to continue embarrassing myself with my handwriting any longer. I actually carried (and kind of still do) a lot of shame about my handwriting. I admit that's childish and pathetic, but so is my cursive writing.

If my signature still had more than two or three legitimate characters, I could say I use cursive for signing things, but that's not the case. I have gladly put that writing style out of my daily life.

Sorry to hijack the thread, but the mention of cursive writing hits a sensitive spot I've carried for a couple of decades.

Wow that's a shame myrabeth! Out of all the things in life, what a thing to be upset about! And people still harass you about it??

I send thank-you notes for gifts or hospitality, a kind gesture and the like. Rarely for dinner, unless it was a special occasion like Easter lunch etc. (I will be sending one out to my Aunt on Monday.) Instead, I follow up with a phone call the next day.

I must admit--I don't bother sending thank-you notes to friends who don't bother themselves! It irritates me that they are so rude. And I am 37 years old. One woman told me she thought that thank-you notes were a generational matter for "old" people. She is 38. I felt like saying that actually, it is a matter of class and upbringing. But I bit my tongue.

I did have a friend who made her own cards for special occasions and would send beautiful thank-you notes for dinner in the mail. They always cheered me up just looking at them on the mantle shelf, they were so pretty!

I give note cards as gifts often since I regularly purchase autism art cards and awareness cards. Then the person will send one back to me as a thank you note, which is not necessary since they are to be used to spread awareness. It would be nice if teachers would use another note card for the thank you note.

When my son graduated fifth grade last year a few teachers mailed us thank you cards and when I order autism related items at some sites they will include a personal note and mention this site and thank me for mentioning their site or items, etc.

That's a very nice idea, to have cards that give a message too!

I always send a Thank You card - although, I hardly receive them. I am saddened by this.
I actually received a Thank You card last week after sending someone a surprise gift in the mail. I told her that I really appreciate this since not many people do this anymore!

I often pick up boxes of friendship, thinking of you and thank you cards. there NOT the cheesy kind with just 3 or 4 words in them. although my family n friends would still like them with just 3 or 4 words in them. i also write in them to make it more personal. i think phone calls and thank you cards are nice. to me email cards aren't very personal although some are very pretty. i my self like to put my cards out so my friends n family can see them. i don't feel my company wants to sit at my computer looking at cards. just my feelings

Small gestures mean a lot.

i'm guilty on this one. i don't send thank-you notes at all. i didn't think anybody bothered about receiving them or not. maybe next time i have a party or get together, i should send them out to those who came.

Welcome, beachwaves!!

Actually as host they should be sending YOU thank you notes for inviting them over!! You should send a thank you note the next time someone has you over to their house, or gives you something

For Dinner, I bring the Wine and Email if they have it.

For Special Help like at Lane Bryant or such I will sent thank you note and maby box of Chocolates if they were helpful. (Both Sales Ladies)

Last couple of times they have got $25 gc from Olive Garden. But most of the time some 8 bucks chocolates from Walmart along with Thank you Note.

I figure better service next time and let them know I appreciate their help.

Dm

I recently bought a bag of assorted cards at a garage sale and it has a variety of things from Thank you to Sorry your sick.
I still write letters to a friend of mine that I worked with years ago. Sending pictures is probably not done much anymore either.
With digital cameras and computers so popular.

It's nice to be nice.

I rush to my computer and crank out a personally designed "thank you" card made with the help of my card software. Sometimes I insert a jpg of my own art, depending on who I'm sending the note to. I know how much I appreciate a "thank you" card so that's why I get one out as soon as I receive a gift or have been invited to dinner.

I recently gave $100 to a young woman who is distantly related to my husband, that I met once when she was a little girl. She graduated from college. I was surprised when 2 MONTHS went by and no "thank you" note came. I dropped some hints to the family that I was disappointed. Finally a brief note came saying, "Thanks for the money," and that's it. So I think timing is important as well as sentiment. Although I will say I felt somewhat better about her having gotten a letter, late as it was.

I admit that I do, indeed, sent thank you notes. I can honestly say that this has nothing to do with being an etiquette editor. I send thank you notes because first, I am a writer and second I truly love receiving physical, hold-in-your-hand, notes. Why wouldn't I want to make sure that someone who's done something considerate for me receive that same joy when they get their mail?
The thank you note was addressed in one of my correspondence articles, www.bellaonline.com/site/etiquette, questioning its demise.
The physical writing, addressing and stamping can seem daunting to one who opts out of the thank you note arena. But the rewards are huge when you follow through on your good intentions.
Note writing is something I have enforced with my children and the rewards have been numerous in recent years. Where before it was an annoying task that Mom insisted upon, now my children have found the groove of writing with a grateful heart and realizing how much joy the receipient receives when they collect their otherwise bill-infested mail.

I think that it is the epitome of ettiquette to send thank you notes. If one receives a gift or other sediment that should be good enough to send a note.

Plus the receiver will feel a great feeling of recognition when they receive a note.

It is contagious once a person recieves one they will in turn send one!

Mary Caliendo
Tea Editor

I do send thank you notes...I just think it is from my mom pounding it into my head when I was younger, if someone gives you a gift or helps you out you should send a thank you...

conniem, I too think that it is from the pounding of my parents too!

It is an old fashioned thing, and the younger set does not do things like this- I hope I single-handedly keep it going!

While I do my e-mail,twitter, and other social networks-the person to person communication needs to continue!

Ialways tell my twitter friends to mail a card,note,or letter to gramma as you're on twitter but gramma aint!

Mary Caliendo
Tea Editor

My son is probably tired of sending thank yous, but I hopefully have pounded that into his head as well! I do get them occasionally from one of my daughters so my magic worked on her!

Love it, your gramma ain't on twitter!

Most people in my family still send thank you notes. I think it is a very thoughtful thing to do. However, with the cost of cards now and such a large family, we often make our own from our own art ideas (scrapbooking supples).

Hey Phyllis, I love to make homemade cards! We also have a large family and to purchase b-day cards is a large expense. My daughter and I have been making all the "kid" b-day cards, and we attended a card making class and did make several thank you cards. They turned out beautiful!
And we had so much fun!

P.S. Not only is gramma not on twitter, social networks, or e-mail many over the age of 40 are not, this also saves a postal worker's job too, as you not only ressurect the timeless art form of written communication!

Mary Caliendo
Tea Editor

Its wonderful to know there are still appreciative receivers out there who want to let the deliverer's know that first a gift was received and second that it was appreciated.

We recently attended a dinner party. After sending out a thank you note which included my acknowledgement of their planning, cleaning and prep which go into hosting a party, the hostess called thanking me for the thank you. She was so appreciative of the fact that I let her know how much fun we had but also how much work it was for her.

We have friends who lament the fact that they are rarely invited to people's homes. I'm not outspoken enough to point out that they are the ones who show up late (and empty handed), leave without disposing of their own plates (to say nothing of assisting in other ways) and never acknowledge to the host(ess) the fun they had. Few people would want someone who does nothing to display their gratitude to return.

Sadly, I believe hand written thank you notes for small occasions has become pretty much a thing of the past as electronic communications have taken over the universe. As email and texting are now most people's preferred means of communication, I think this is acceptable for most occasions. I would not ever send thank yous for Graduations, Weddings, etc via any electronic means. I believe these should still be handwritten, as should any that are going to grandparents and such out of respect.

However, as the thank you is sent at all says a lot about about the sender, that they are a gracious person and truly appreciated your thoughtfulness.

Myrabeth - I understand your problem completely. I still remember my third grade teacher telling me I was holding my pencil in the wrong hand and making me use my right hand- THIRD GRADE!!) I write everything in block print, all caps, just enlarging the first letters where capitalization is needed. My signature is good, but I practiced it hundreds of times to get it to the point where I liked it.

I do send thank you notes for gifts or when someone's put together a special dinner or evening, or if someone has gone out of their way to help me out.
I send an e-mail thank you when it's a casual dinner or get-together.

Re the cursive topic. I was taught cursive from Grade 1 (pencil until grade 3). I took very well to it because I'm right-handed and also artistic.
My brother, however, was born left-handed but was forced to use his right hand to write. This resulted with him being extremelly frustrated and getting poor grades in handwriting (like you, Myrabeth!). To this day his writing is poor (he's 42). So I can understand the frustration, however, I would be sad to see cursive writting go away as I find it beautiful.
This said, I find it horrible that children would be forced into writing with their right hand when they are clearly left-handed. (In my day, the nun's told us that it was a sign of the devil to be right-handed. Can you imagine! That is so wrong!)

I send thank you note by email after an interview for job, usually.