Are Breastfeeders "Better" Mothers? - 03/14/08 06:50 AM
NOTE before posting � this thread has the potential to become quite contentious. Personal attacks toward other posters will not be tolerated and as moderator I reserve the right to remove remarks that do not contribute to the spirit of the discussion. Please engage in a civil and exploratory tone.
Please refer to my article, Are Breastfeeders "Better" Mothers, for a starting point or framework for discussion.
Are Breastfeeders "Better" Mothers?
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To start us off, here are some initial thoughts�
No, of course I don't believe that breastfeeding makes one, in and of itself, a better mother � I doubt many breastfeeding mothers would claim this. In as much as being a "good" mother or "better" than another mother, is meaningful at all � that certainly would not hinge on a single choice or outcome. I will say however, that breastfeeding has made *me* a better mother than I otherwise would have been. Breastfeeding for me was a sort of gateway to a whole world of parenting choices and life choices that were absolutely right for me and my family. My difficulties with breastfeeding and overcoming them gave me a sense of commitment, confidence and bonding with my child that would have formed so differently without it that I am incredibly grateful.
I think when women become breastfeeding advocates, it is not out of any sense of malevolence towards bottle feeding, but simply because we want to bring the same sort of joy to other mothers and babies. I know that I have personally helped women to breastfeed who would not have persisted without my support � and they are grateful. If being there for someone can bring that to them, then I am going to keep offering and making myself available whenever I can.
I'm also going to go out on a limb here and say that feeling guilty about not breastfeeding or regretful about being unable to make breastfeeding work are feelings that need to be owned. If you know that not breastfeeding was the right choice for you and your family, own that. If you wish things had gone differently, understand that you did the best you could and own that as well. The advocacy efforts surrounding breastfeeding are not meant to offend � they are meant to educate and support. No one can make you feel guilty about something that you know is right. If you feel ambivalent or sad about your decision, and breastfeeding advocacy sparks those feelings, I'm truly sorry about that, but am simply not willing to reduce my efforts to help women and babies when I can. I'm not presuming to speak for all of those who support breastfeeding, but I do suspect I speak for many.
Please refer to my article, Are Breastfeeders "Better" Mothers, for a starting point or framework for discussion.
Are Breastfeeders "Better" Mothers?
-----------------------------------------------
To start us off, here are some initial thoughts�
No, of course I don't believe that breastfeeding makes one, in and of itself, a better mother � I doubt many breastfeeding mothers would claim this. In as much as being a "good" mother or "better" than another mother, is meaningful at all � that certainly would not hinge on a single choice or outcome. I will say however, that breastfeeding has made *me* a better mother than I otherwise would have been. Breastfeeding for me was a sort of gateway to a whole world of parenting choices and life choices that were absolutely right for me and my family. My difficulties with breastfeeding and overcoming them gave me a sense of commitment, confidence and bonding with my child that would have formed so differently without it that I am incredibly grateful.
I think when women become breastfeeding advocates, it is not out of any sense of malevolence towards bottle feeding, but simply because we want to bring the same sort of joy to other mothers and babies. I know that I have personally helped women to breastfeed who would not have persisted without my support � and they are grateful. If being there for someone can bring that to them, then I am going to keep offering and making myself available whenever I can.
I'm also going to go out on a limb here and say that feeling guilty about not breastfeeding or regretful about being unable to make breastfeeding work are feelings that need to be owned. If you know that not breastfeeding was the right choice for you and your family, own that. If you wish things had gone differently, understand that you did the best you could and own that as well. The advocacy efforts surrounding breastfeeding are not meant to offend � they are meant to educate and support. No one can make you feel guilty about something that you know is right. If you feel ambivalent or sad about your decision, and breastfeeding advocacy sparks those feelings, I'm truly sorry about that, but am simply not willing to reduce my efforts to help women and babies when I can. I'm not presuming to speak for all of those who support breastfeeding, but I do suspect I speak for many.