OK I finally just watched Episode One of The Biggest Loser Couples, on the NBC site. We'd somehow missed taping it.

SPOILERS!!!!

I had tears in my eyes watching a lot of it! I was a little upset about the way they had them weighing in before a large group of people. I would have fainted in that situation. But also I think it's very empowering, that they know they are going with the support and love of their entire community.

Those work-outs seem incredibly killer. Everyone was vomiting and keeling over in pain. It seems really dangerous for someone 500 pounds to be really pushing themselves that hard. But then again, the man who was that heavy did really well!

I'm SO glad that the two couples who were "kicked out" get a high incentive to keep working out at home. That's really encouraging, that they won't just give up.

I was really sad when people said they'd never been kissed, never had a girlfriend, just because they were large. That seems so unfair to me. They were friendly, fun - but just because they were large? Is that the society we have?

What did you guys think about it?

I missed it, but I plan to pick up next week. I used to watch faithfully, but I kept missing last season.
But you know, I've seen many large people that are in very happy relationships. I definitely feel for those that feel that their size is a keeping them from being in a relationship. But society can be cruel, it's sad really.

That is exactly what I thought, that people of any size should be able to find love! These people were saying they'd never had a girlfriend, never been kissed, never been in love. There were some married people in there too so it wasn't a 100% message, but I did find it a sad message.

As a large woman, I can tell you it's really hard. I am on an online dating site and 99% of the men whose profiles I read select "athletic, slender and average" as the body type they are looking for. The other options are I think "curvy, big & beautiful & a few extra pounds". I fall into one or all of those and it really narrows down the prospects. Truthfully, it seems they are all looking for trophy wives/partners. This is true no matter what the guy looks like, too.

And, I hear from guys that women do lie about their size. Which is really sad, too, but I feel their pain there. However, it seems pointless to even try that to me as it is bound to lead to disaster or at least hurt feelings.

But, the "ideal" in almost all the media today is tall, thin, bleached blonde and plastic-surgeried! Did you see that Heidi Montag who's in her early 20's just had 10 plastic surgeries in one day? We're getting to the point where "real" people won't exist anymore! LOL

Deb, I agree with your description of the "ideal woman" in today's society. I happen to be a very large woman I wear a size 24. New Years Eve was the start of a relationship for me with a man I've known for over a year. He's tall, thin and 10 years younger than me, but told me NYE I was beautiful and was afraid I wouldn't want to have anything to do with him because he was so much younger than me. Imagine that! A man who looks past the body and into the heart and soul. Am I lucky or what?

It might depend on where you look. I have a friend who is large but found a ton of dating options on the dating websites she chose to use. She even married the one of her choice - and she had many choices.

On the Biggest Loser, I think it's not how you look per se, but how you feel about yourself. Poor Koli (or is it Sam?) was csaying he's dated before but pushed people away, b/c in his words, "no one would want to marry a 400 pound man." He's a nice looking guy as is, but has zero self esteem.

Michael, starting at 526 pounds, is also a nice looking man, and seems very warm and fun to be with. There is no reason he can't have a loving girlfriend or wife. If look at a lot of these people, they are pleasant looking at least for most of them, and even pretty right now (like Michelle/red, Sunshine/yellow and Stephanie/purple).

A lot of these single people admit to having been heavy most or all of their lives. My guess is their self esteem is in the toilet. As Lisa pointed out in another thread, the contestants seem to be glowing by the time they reach the 'makeover' episodes, because they feel happy and energetic. They feel very proud of what they have done. Even the ones who are not 'skinny' look thrilled and pleased with how they look. So my sense is that it's not that there is extra weight kicking around; it's how they project their self image.

Does that sound about right?

Right I do agree with that a lot too.

I do agree that in general people look less favorably on heavy people - so they have a "strike against them".

But that being said, I agree with Jilly that people who are heavy often have poor self esteem and that causes just as much (if not more) damage. I know many heavy people who are in very happy relationships. So it can happen. It's all about the heavy person being happy with *themselves* and presenting that to the world. There will undoubtedly be someone who is drawn to that and who appreciates it.

It might not be easy - if you lived in a small town of 5,000 people and only met those people, maybe nobody in that group would be a good match. So it definitely takes work to get out there, to mingle with larger groups so you can run into those good matches.