What kinds of things affect your good days and bad days?

I have an idea, you see... it's really a pretty simple idea and i've been working on it for some time. After things happened in my life a number of years ago, i started having anxiety and depression. I've read some about it, i've tried advice (some of it expensive advice), but it wasn't helping enough. So my simple idea was for me to just start observing when my mood changed what also happened at the same time, or just before my mood change. I thought, if i figure out the things that affect it, some of the causes might be outside of my control, but probably lots of the causes are within my ability to influence, and i can learn how to live happily again.

So far, it does help, though i've found it takes constant practice and attention, but with time it gets better and easier.

For me, some of the things that contribute to my feeling sad or anxious:

SAD or ANXIOUS:
-lack of sleep
-isolation, friends withdrawing, and loneliness
-not expressing myself when there is something i need to say
-others being loudly angry with me
-harsh criticism or judgment
-harsh self-criticism
-laziness and avoidance
-stress
-clutter and when i let the housekeeping slip
-December
-thinking much about the past
-worry rather than action

Some of the things that improve my mood:

Better Moods & Greater Confidence
-good sleep, daily exercise, healthy food
-comfortable time with good people
-friends seeking out my company
-closeness with others, openess in what i am feeling
-giving to others (teaching, encouraging)
-being around people who are positive and encouraging
-thinking about good things that happen now
-challenge to move forward, but not so that it is overwhelming
-visible or measurable progress.
-an organized and pleasant home
-things done each day for enjoyment: a good meal, a movie, a bath

So i want to ask everyone,

What things affect your moods?

And have you ever thought about this and consciously worked towards giving yourself more of what you need to be happy?

I don't know about anyone else, but sometimes I can't pinpoint what a bad mood comes from - I chalk it up to hormones. Here are some of the things that can make me in a bad mood:

Fighting in my house - wether it is my kids amongst themselves, or against my husband and me, doesn't matter. I like peace.

Nasty customers - I can't do anything about them, just try to please them. It is not really in my nature to make nasty people happy, so I struggle with it.

Food shopping - yup, that's what I said. Can't help it. If I could pay someone to do it for me, I would. I would rather scrub floors on my hands and knees than food shop.

Things that make me in a good mood -

Happiness in my family

Music - almost always can lift my spirits

Exercise - when it is over

My Dog - can never do anything wrong and always loves me. He always makes me smile!

A good day at work.

Ahhhh, yes! I forgot about music!!!

You have an interesting list. I remember when i used to have to deal with nasty customers... yeah, that sure can do it. Sometimes they're downright abusive or even scary.

Yes I have an interesting list, but hey I am an interesting person lol.

I work for a plumber and do everything from order parts to paying the bills to scrubbing the bathroom. I am really good at my job, except for the customer thing. I try, but if someone gets nasty for no reason, I can't deal. My boss knows it and will pick up that slack, cause I'm worth it lol.

Well, i won two awards for customer service and i STILL found it hard!

I have a friend who does what you do... though she's married to the boss, LOL. It's one of those family plumbing businesses. She doesn't get paid as well as you do, LOL!

I used to work for my husband when he owned a business and didn't get paid at all, not even a Christmas bonus. Yes I make ok money, but of course, I am worth more. lol

hahaha yes, that's what i was implying... she doesn't get paid cash at all. I hope he's good in the bedroom, LOL!

hollyelise- what an excellent list. Now if only I'd do things on the second part of the list more often.

Even when I follow the rules, though, I've found I get depressed consistently at 1 o'clock in the afternoon. Haven't figured that one out, yet.

Even with the most clockwork depression, though, from hormones to time of day, the more I exercise, the less sadness I have. Other people in my life have learned this and so when I get to the point when I'm beyond reasoning myself, they encourage me to take a walk, which almost immediately gives me some rational capacity back.

My friend M's therapist recommends that he does jumping jacks when he gets depressed. He made the mistake of telling me, so now when he tells me he's depressed i tell him to do his jumping jacks. He doesn't... but it's a running joke now, so it does make him laugh!

I know with most peoples' biorhythms it's at it's lowest at about 3 in the afternoon and your body temperature dips i think... could that be related? Or, i'm wondering if it might have to do with blood sugar, and what you usually have for breakfast or lunch?

My moods are worse at night. Part of it is the light, and part of it being tired. I've learned that there are certain things i shouldn't do after 9 p.m... like finances or trying to iron out relationship conflicts.

I know what you mean about it being difficult to follow what we know helps.

Sad/anxiety:
Arguments with loved ones; taxes; increased workload; illness of loved ones and self; tiredness; high cost of living....

Better moods:
Closeness to good people; helping others; being with my pets; good music; appreciating the good in the present time; gratefulness....

This is wonderful.

Every time a person contributes I learn more.

Do you see how most of us are helped by health and be being close to people?

I think there's a lot of potential here.

Hmmm, I don't know, Hollyelise. I usually eat breakfast around 10, but food moves through me pretty quick, so maybe that's what it is. I wasn't thinking about blood sugar afftecting my mood. Thanks for the suggestion. I'll try to pay attention to it.

Tress, what made me think of it, is i used to be hypoglycemic. It was actually a boyfriend i had many years ago who discovered how much food used to influence my moods. He used to say that when i was angry (with him, LOL), half the time it wasn't about anything at all, i was actually HUNGRY, but just didn't know i was hungry. He said if he could get me to sit down and eat, most of the time i wouldn't be angry anymore. I ate very irregularly in those days, and would sometimes eat sugary things on an empty stomach.

And when the hypoglycemia was at it's worst, i would actually get lightheaded sometimes or feel sudden weakness. Eventually i learned how to eat better to keep a more even glycemic index (spread out your calories into mini meals, avoid eating sugar except after you've eaten other things, increase your fiber, and spread a little protein throughout your day), and i also started exercising every day. Muscles help our bodies regulate it's body sugar better, so exercise helped a lot, and that and eating better made it go away.

I don't know if that's what's up with you, but it would be easy to experiment with your diet and see if it doesn't change how you feel in the afternoon. There are a lot of diets now that teach about glycemic index including Michael Thurmond, South Beach, the American Diabetic Association, the G.I. diet and others. The bonus is, a better glycemic index helps you to maintain a healthy weight and reduces your cravings.

Maybe one of the things we can do is do one thing each day to improve our mood.