BellaOnline
Posted By: haridas festive Spirit - 12/17/07 06:17 AM


Why do we not have the festive spirit all through the year?
Posted By: hollyelise Re: festive Spirit - 12/17/07 06:37 AM
smile

"for every season, turn turn turn, there is a reason, turn turn turn"

The fact that we DON'T have holidays all the time helps to make it special.
Posted By: hollyelise Re: festive Spirit - 12/17/07 06:48 AM
Yesterday when i was trying to find a certain Christmas joke i came across this cartoon and i laughed and laughed, but

WARNING... do not look at this if you are offended by sexual jokes:

BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!
Posted By: Alexandra Re: festive Spirit - 12/17/07 08:28 AM
Originally Posted By: haridas


Why do we not have the festive spirit all through the year?


I think what Haridas means is - why don't we engender peace, goodwill and Love towards our fellow being the other 364 days of the year? Why should we just want peace on earth for this one time? Why don't we make the effort to do this all the time?

Good point, why don't we?

Good gags, Holly.... You naughty thing you! Are you trying to tell us something about yourself??
Posted By: hollyelise Re: festive Spirit - 12/17/07 06:28 PM
I haven't even read all the jokes at that link, Alexandra... i was googling for the details of the joke that knitter told me about St. Peter... that i posted earlier this week, but when i saw that cartoon at the top.... I don't think i've laughed that much in months!!!! laugh laugh laugh

Yes, i agree we could be nice to each other throughout the year. Always at Thanksgiving i can't help but think of the food banks. So many people give food to food banks at Thanksgiving, or they volunteer at Christmas, or give to charity at the end of the year so they can get their tax write-off. But what are we thinking?????!!! Is that really because we are thinking of the poor, or are we thinking more of ourselves? People need to eat, have clothes and shelter 365 days a year. Every year food banks get plenty of food gifts and volunteers around holidays, so much that some of it spoils, and yet at other times of the year they need volunteers and donations. If we're going to volunteer or give only one day a year... then let's do it around our birthdays, and that way between us we cover the year. Or lets give on a monthly basis when we pay our utility bill, or something like that.
Posted By: Modern Woman Re: festive Spirit - 12/19/07 05:46 AM
Haridas,

We do not maintain the festive spirit all the year because during the festivals most of us our real struggles.
We live in a dream world during the festivals. At least I do.
After the festival is over, the daily grind brings us back to reality with bang.

Haridas,
This was Alexandra's response to your post-

I think what Haridas means is - why don't we engender peace, goodwill and Love towards our fellow being the other 364 days of the year? Why should we just want peace on earth for this one time? Why don't we make the effort to do this all the time?

Good point, why don't we?

Good gags, Holly.... You naughty thing you! Are you trying to tell us something about yourself??

The answer will make clear to you that she is looking for a fight and not answering in the spirit you are asking. All my good friends here on the forum are ignoring her. Pl. continue with ignoring her. My honest advice to you.

If she continues with nasty posts, leave the forum. No use having a bad day.
Posted By: Alexandra Re: festive Spirit - 12/19/07 06:11 AM
Haridas obvious desire to seek and engender goodwill is a commendable one. I completely agree and concur with his enquiry. I answered his post and then holly's.

I'm sorry, but how is that looking for a fight' and writing 'nasty posts'?

It's Christmas, CDM. I would love you to lay aside your obvious dislike of me, just for once, and engage in the spirit of the moment. Wouldn't that be nicer and kinder than continuing to bear a gudge over something best forgotten, whatever it was?

Don't make your heart so heavy and unhappy with the hostility you feel.
Holly is kindly speaking with me, and engaging in discussion, and I am warmed and touched by that. She is your good friend too.


Please, let us be friends, even if it's just for Christmas!!
Posted By: haridas Re: festive Spirit - 12/19/07 07:25 AM
I am leaving the forum.
Posted By: Alexandra Re: festive Spirit - 12/19/07 07:42 AM
Promises, promises.
so you've said elsewhere, haridas.
In that case, just go, why make such a song-and-dance about it?

Look, I'm sorry, but what is it with you guys?

(And I use the term advisedly - you are after all, Men on a women's forum....)

Why on earth do you have it in for me?
Here I am, doing my level best, as anyone is, just trying to engage and contribute, be nice and loving, and repeatedly, you insult me and shun me and interpret my posts in heartless and unkind ways! You accuse me of unspeakable things, and I do not merit this, I really DO NOT!

So then, what is it?
What have I done?
Name me one thing I have ever said or done that is hateful, mean or rude.
if you're going to say such slanderious things on forum, be open and come out with it.

Because if you're going to make such accusations, you'd better have somehing concrete to back it up with.

I'm tired of this.
I don't see why I should have to put up with it either.
Posted By: Alexandra Re: festive Spirit - 12/19/07 07:49 AM
This is very upsetting.
I have feelings too you know.
I don't understand where this vindictiveness and spite has come from.
Posted By: nadaurz Re: festive Spirit - 12/20/07 10:18 AM
I haven't visited the forums since back in September, yet I feel as if I never left. The first one I choose to read and there it is again! CD preaching and spreading hate for Alexandra. She has a legitimate question. Why will you never answer it directly? Have you ever heard the old saying, "If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all!"? As I felt before and again is confirmed, it's you, CD, looking for a fight. Not only that, but you're also a bully, trying to get everyone to gang up on her! Give it a rest. I personally don't want to have to deal with it. Keep it private if you can't let it go.
Posted By: Jeanette - Editor Re: festive Spirit - 12/20/07 02:01 PM
Originally Posted By: cdmohatta
The answer will make clear to you that she is looking for a fight and not answering in the spirit you are asking. All my good friends here on the forum are ignoring her. Pl. continue with ignoring her. My honest advice to you.

If she continues with nasty posts, leave the forum. No use having a bad day.


She was not picking a fight as you always seem to try to make her out to be. I know Alexandra upset you awhile back over something she said, yet you continue to berate her and attack her continuously with your many screen names that you use in this forum. It is time to stop. It is time to move on. Every time she posts something you have to attack it. Be done with it and posting under several different names in this forum to make someone look bad.
Posted By: Jeanette - Editor Re: festive Spirit - 12/20/07 02:04 PM
Originally Posted By: nadaurz
Have you ever heard the old saying, "If you can't say something nice, say nothing at all!"? As I felt before and again is confirmed, it's you, CD, looking for a fight.


A LOT of people hide behind their computers and post things to forums because they know in real life, they could never have the guts to talk to people they way they do on the internet.
Posted By: Sue Early Childhood Re: festive Spirit - 12/20/07 03:48 PM
Here we go again, I thought this thread was named "festive spirit".

Why don't you guys fight through the pm's and leave the rest of us out of it? Thanks.

Jeanette thanks for your insightful posts.
Posted By: nadaurz Re: festive Spirit - 12/20/07 04:00 PM
You are right. It is called "festive spirit" and I believe doing random acts of kindness, such as defending someone who is being unjustly attacked, is totally what this season is about. If one child was unjustly attacking another, would you send them elsewhere so you didn't have to listen? I'd like to believe you would intervene and put an end to it.
Posted By: Jeanette - Editor Re: festive Spirit - 12/20/07 04:01 PM
I TOTALLY agree with Sue. If you have a problem with something someone said, be an adult and talk about it in PMs. If you don't accept PMs, then leave it alone. It is getting really old when the same certain people are attacking Alexandra. No one wants to read it and it is clogging up what should be good discussions.
Posted By: Sue Early Childhood Re: festive Spirit - 12/20/07 04:05 PM
Originally Posted By: nadaurz
You are right. It is called "festive spirit" and I believe doing random acts of kindness, such as defending someone who is being unjustly attacked, is totally what this season is about. If one child was unjustly attacking another, would you send them elsewhere so you didn't have to listen? I'd like to believe you would intervene and put an end to it.


We aren't talking about children here, are we?
Posted By: Alexandra Re: festive Spirit - 12/20/07 04:29 PM
No, true, not in essence, we're not. But unfortunately this issue has been festering for some time, and I have been trying to honestly rise above it and not pay attention to the frankly venomous things that have been said. It's been going on a while, and I'm not entirely sure exactly where it originates from. Frankly, I doubt they do either.
to have prolonged it this far, has been child-ish of them (in my own poor view......) and whilst to date I have studiously refrained from rising to the bait, I'm afraid they caught me 'on a bad day'.
I apologise.
I can't go back in and edit/delete my post, or trust me, I would.

I shall for my part say no more, and try harder in future.
Sorry.
Posted By: Jeanette - Editor Re: festive Spirit - 12/20/07 04:40 PM
And for the original meaning of this thread here is a quote of the day that arrived in my mailbox....

Today's Inspirational Quote:

"Three things in human life are important. The first is to be
kind. The second is to be kind. The third is to be kind."

-- Henry James
Posted By: Alexandra Re: festive Spirit - 12/20/07 04:49 PM
Oh, I like that, yes I do....

It reminds me of the Dalai Lama's own take upon it.
("My Religion is Kindness....")

I should have known better.

Timely, Jeanette, and for this I thank you.
Posted By: Sue Early Childhood Re: festive Spirit - 12/20/07 05:00 PM
Originally Posted By: Alexandra
No, true, not in essence, we're not. But unfortunately this issue has been festering for some time, and I have been trying to honestly rise above it and not pay attention to the frankly venomous things that have been said. It's been going on a while, and I'm not entirely sure exactly where it originates from. Frankly, I doubt they do either.
to have prolonged it this far, has been child-ish of them (in my own poor view......) and whilst to date I have studiously refrained from rising to the bait, I'm afraid they caught me 'on a bad day'.
I apologise.
I can't go back in and edit/delete my post, or trust me, I would.

I shall for my part say no more, and try harder in future.
Sorry.


No need to apologize Alexandra, I actually don't think you did anything wrong, and I hope you weren't offended by my comment. I probably should have just ignored the whole thing since it doesn't really involve me, I just didn't want it to get out of control. You always have the right to defend yourself!

Jeanette I also like you quote of the day!
Posted By: hollyelise Re: festive Spirit - 12/20/07 08:16 PM
Many of you are mistaken in several points.

First, CD and haridas are not the same person. I will attest to this. You should not be consequently judging them as if they were.

Second, CD misinterpretted a comment Alexandra made to me on the forum as being an attack, and he came to what he thought was our defense. In view of Alexandra's former behavior and her recent comment, this was an understandable mistake. I have emailed him about this and the situation is hopefully now clear. He is also under considerable personal strain right now, so please be considerate of him. He needs our prayers and support at present.

CDMohatta has shown himself repeatedly to be a very kind and unselfish person. Those of you complaining do not have the privelege of knowing him better and just how special a person he is. If you only knew! Please, at least reserve your judgment at this time. It is shameful to malign so dear a person because you don't understand.

And before those of you less informed people to this situation elect St. Alexandra, did it escape all of you the sexual insult she hurled at cdmohatta, haridas, and homosexual people that is still in her post? And this is after she edited out her more biting comments she made in a fit of temper.

I don't like arguments on forums any more than any of you do (if anything i like it less because i am more dependent on it than any of you), but if you're going to openly condemn people for bad behavior at least investigate thoroughly before speaking, back up accusations with evidence (there is no evidence cd and haridas are the same person, but there is evidence of certain comments) and apply your judgments accurately, consistently, and with reserve, knowing that more understanding may come to you at a later date.

Alexandra has behaved badly, and i'm not talking about the past but now. Homosexual slurs are certainly not appropriate and are insulting both to those falsely described and to homosexuals, who deserve better.

Better still, be forgiving when anyone takes a misstep. It could just as well be you or me or anyone having a bad day next time and putting our foot in our mouth or losing your temper or misunderstanding something. Several of you just condemned others for being unforgiving, and yet aren't you doing the very same thing right now? This is what we call hypocrisy. If you honestly believe in forgiveness, then WALK YOUR TALK! Show by example.

Lastly, I will miss haridas very much, and hope that he will see this and contact me so we can continue our discussions on various topics elsewhere. He is a very intelligent man and contributed positively to the forum, and i felt i learned much from him.

I don't know if i will be back to comment, but i will check back.

bye for now,
~holly
Posted By: Jeanette - Editor Re: festive Spirit - 12/20/07 09:25 PM
I am able to forgive and forget. I would also like to add to holly assessment about misinterpretted posts. I have noticed this has happened a lot not only in this forum but elsewhere. There is already a friction between the 2. Reading a post several times to make sure you understand it and then if you are not sure, please pm the person in question instead of dragging it out here as I stated before. It saves such a headache and others getting upset over things said.
Posted By: Sue Early Childhood Re: festive Spirit - 12/21/07 03:55 AM
I apologize for upsetting you Holly. I was not trying to take sides. I too think that Haridas is an intelligent man and was in no way trying to take sides. Outside of this site, life is difficult for many of us in our own way. I like to escape the arguementative world I sometimes live in and when I saw the arguement developing here I just thought I would ask them to argue in private.

Sorry again. Have a happy holiday everyone.
Posted By: Barbara_Sloan Re: festive Spirit - 12/21/07 04:46 AM
Peace, everyone. Jeannette is right. We all need to live and let live, not look for trouble, and not pass judgment on others here.

It is difficult to read text, as in this or any forum, and perceive the person's true feelings -- happy, sad, sarcastic, etc. -- so it's best to assume the person means well and isn't trying to pick a fight or put anyone down.

It would be best if we all do not look for double meanings behind what people are trying to say (as in "is that person being mean to me?") here, if we watch our own tone and words so what we say is what we mean, and do keep our posts on topic and considerate. It would also be good to remember that you cannot be "baited" into a fight if you don't take the bait. The way to avoid a "fight" is to ignore it (feel free to notify me about inappropriate posts--don't respond to them). Stick to the topic of the thread in your posts, although occasional wanderings do get fun and interesting, too.

I have held off posting a sticky "rules" set since the forum already has an excellent set you all had to agree to when you signed up, and I'm still hoping I won't have to post one here. My only "rule" right now is in the future, accusatory or attacking posts will be deleted.

This is a great forum. I have never met or known or been privileged to discuss so many interesting issues with such smart, open, caring people as I have here. I am proud to be the host of the Self Development section (just passed my second anniversary!), and I am delighted to know you all. I am especially proud of the peacemakers here, and there are so many of you. It is impressive to watch how you sort things out, how kind you are, how much you give of yourselves -- I am truly honored to know you all, and I never feel I need to step in and add anything. So thank you to you all for being here, for weathering our few storms, and for helping to make this forum the helpful, enjoyable place it's been these past two years.

In peace and love ~
Barbara
Posted By: Alexandra Re: festive Spirit - 12/21/07 07:18 AM
Well, because I believe it the right thing to do, and spurred on by the obvious Love, support and kindness of those here and behind the scenes, I am sorry.
I am sorry for my part in this, sorry that anything I have said has provoked such an angry response, sorry that it has stimulated others to come to my defense, and sorry that both Haridas and CDMohatta felt compelled or 'provoked' by my words to react in the way they did.
I wish to be more mindful of my thoughts, words and deeds, now and always. I wish to be more skilful in my treatment of others and the sensibilities they have.
I wish to extend a hand of friendship to both CDMohatta and Haridas, and ask them to be willing to lay aside our differences for good, and be good, kind and nice to one another.
I am sorry CDM, if I have done something, or anything to make you so angry.
I am sorry haridas, that you have felt so vulnerable and hurt by my responses to you, anywhere.

Let us, as Barbara so wonderfully says, be smart, open and caring, and start again, from Here, right How.
In True Festive Spirit.

How about it?
Posted By: Barbara_Sloan Re: festive Spirit - 12/21/07 06:54 PM
Thank you, Alexandra. It takes a big person to be the first to step up and offer the olive branch. You've made more light shine in the world smile

Barbara
Posted By: babyquacker Re: festive Spirit - 12/21/07 08:10 PM
That is indeed a very nice, generous offer, Alex. What I have found to be true when someone misinterprets what I have said,or is belligerent in their response to me, is to just ignore any further posts with them on the subject. I try ONCE to correct the situation, but then I just ignore it. (However, I don't tell THEM that I have them on ignore, I just don't comment on their posts.) I have found that there are a few people who will never understand my stand on anything, so I try to NEVER post after they have posted. It avoids any chance of ANOTHER conflict arising. wink That is so much easier and actually better than trying to convince or justify my feelings.

There are many, many sites here that I can enjoy without being part of the problem on ANY one forum. Alex, for whatever reasons, there ARE a few people who don't want to be your friend, or mine either, for that matter. Let it be. You have other friends here, as I have said to you before. You don't need to make ALL of the people on Bella your friends, and when they don't want to talk to you, or even post after you have, then just accept it and go on with life. You just need to quit answering back to people who make comments about you. It makes it look like you are the same person FROM THE PAST, which you are not. So rise above it, okay?

You and I have had problems in the past, but we seem to have worked through them. You HAVE changed since all the negativity ABOUT you and started by you, so let it remain in the past. It just takes time for others to see those changes. Be patient. Don't try to explain yourself, be defensive or try to take sides. You know that CD and haritas have lots of friends here but I don't always approve of what they say or do, anymore than everyone here feels about me or anybody else always thinks they are being "perfect". wink

Yes, I agree that it will be wonderful WHEN everyone in the world, and EVEN on Bella get along. We should ALL want peace. I am doing my part to be peaceful. How about everyone else? Barbara is a very smart, caring person and I think she says it best, "It would also be good to remember that you cannot be "baited" into a fight if you don't take the bait. The way to avoid a "fight" is to ignore it (feel free to notify me about inappropriate posts--don't respond to them). Stick to the topic of the thread in your posts, although occasional wanderings do get fun and interesting, too."

Keeping with the festive spirit, I wish all of you a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year.



Trish



Posted By: Alexandra Re: festive Spirit - 12/21/07 10:44 PM
_/I\_

Merry Christmas Trish.

With love as ever,
Me.

Posted By: "Rosie" Re: festive Spirit - 12/22/07 12:03 AM
Why can;t we all just get along!!
Life is to short,
Posted By: freespirit Re: festive Spirit - 12/22/07 03:52 AM
I agree this whole thread has sucked the holiday cheer right out of me! the nasty remarks could have been avoid or at lessed sent in a pm instead of where everyone had to read the nasty remarks and most of us dont know and dont care who thinks what of who or who is friends or enemys with who!!

Posted By: Barbara_Sloan Re: festive Spirit - 12/22/07 09:45 PM
Well, fill yourself back up, Freebubbles! We've been over what should have been done, and now we're all ready to forgive, forget and feel festive. smile
Posted By: "Rosie" Re: festive Spirit - 12/22/07 09:56 PM
sounds good to me Barbara
Posted By: "Rosie" Re: festive Spirit - 12/22/07 09:59 PM
Barbara, just noticed we joined the forum just days apart same month same year 11 days different
Posted By: Alexandra Re: festive Spirit - 12/23/07 06:58 AM
Ah...you are both the founder-members (and probably only members) of "The 11-days-apart" Club!! Congrats!!
Where's the Champagne?
Posted By: "Rosie" Re: festive Spirit - 12/23/07 06:33 PM
HaHaHA; Alexandra very funny???
Posted By: Barbara_Sloan Re: festive Spirit - 12/24/07 08:05 PM
I tried to start a Procrastinators Club once, but I kept putting it off ... smile
Posted By: Alexandra Re: festive Spirit - 12/25/07 04:52 AM
I tried to start a lightbulb club, but everyone kept me in the dark....oh dear... this one could run and run....!!
Posted By: hollyelise Re: festive Spirit - 12/26/07 05:18 AM
I want to say to everyone, I'm sorry for losing my temper.
Posted By: babyquacker Re: festive Spirit - 12/27/07 04:40 AM
Holly, you are okay, I am okay and I think we all are okay... Part of that is a movie, I think... I'm okay and you're okay... Yes, that's it. smile You came to the defense of someone being attacked. You certainly had the right to do that. Those who know what has been going on and what is going on are the only ones who really understand. But as Alex has put it behind her, we all should too!!

Rosie, I'm sorry if my crackling fire in the beautiful fireplace and wishing you a Merry Christmas sucked all the holiday cheer from you. It was supposed to make everyone happy and feel relaxed, as if we all were friends around the fire. It made me feel good anyway! Fire does suck all the oxygen out of the air, though... (LOL) ... I think it has something to do with science. wink

Honestly, I feel much more festive now that everything is done and I can just relax some and enjoy all the decorations. I hope each of you are taking time to enjoy the wonderful reason for the season and the fruits of your labors. It's a good time to watch some sentimental holiday movies.

May I wish you each of you a continued peaceful, happy holiday with family and friends... and with each of us, too! laugh

Trish

P.S. Thanks for the Christmas wishes, Alex! smile


Posted By: babyquacker Re: festive Spirit - 12/27/07 04:48 AM
BTW, I was busy with my 87 year old Mother and didn't have time to say this before now. It is a day late but the message is still good! smile



Trish

Cats can make ANY holiday festive with their curious nature, right? wink My kitty keeps jumping into Mother's wheelchair everytime Mother goes to the bathroom. She thinks it is something new and Mother gets the biggest kick out of watching her sitting there like she was a "big girl".
Posted By: Sue Early Childhood Re: festive Spirit - 12/27/07 02:52 PM
How was everyone's Christmas. I haven't been here in a couple of days. My Uncle passed away on Sunday, so our Christmas was a little somber, but ok.

Holly - I am glad you came back to post. I was worried.

Hope you all had a great Christmas. I have to go get some work done since I have been away a few days, there is a huge stack of paper work waiting for my attention.

Posted By: Alexandra Re: festive Spirit - 12/27/07 09:36 PM
Oh, Sue, I am so sorry to hear about your uncle....
Are you OK...?
Posted By: "Rosie" Re: festive Spirit - 12/27/07 09:47 PM
Sue my condolence for the lost of your uncle, must be ruff with the holidays God Bless
Posted By: Sue Early Childhood Re: festive Spirit - 12/28/07 01:30 PM
Thank you both, I am sad, but fine. My Uncle had inoperable lung cancer only diagnosed 3 months ago, and did not suffer too much. They believe a blood clot or heart attach is what he actually died from. One second he was being discharged from the hospital, and then, he was dead.

I am more worried about my mom. She is taking it really hard, and I worry about her. As much as my mom did not want to loose her brother, she is glad that he did not suffer.

Hopefully, 2008 will be a much happier time for all of us. In the last 6 months I have known 4 people who have died, and my good friend's son had a very bad car accident in which he suffered a major head injury and is now in rehab and will be for a very long time.

So I am putting all that behind me and looking forward to a good 2008. How about you guys? Any good plans for the new year?
Posted By: Alexandra Re: festive Spirit - 12/28/07 05:22 PM
as I usually say,
"May the best of this year be the worst of the next...."

Hang in here Sue...if there's anything any of us can do, by way of moral support, you only have to ask.

Hugs to both you and your mum.
Posted By: Sue Early Childhood Re: festive Spirit - 12/28/07 05:32 PM
Thanks Alexandra. I love that quote. I am going to have to remember that one!
© BellaOnline Forums