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Posted By: ilove1978 One of the guys - 02/25/08 11:20 PM
Well I know I have seen posts here about some of us having more guy friends than girls. I am definitely one of those people. I feel it is hard to have anything in common w/ most women esp. for me since every woman I know has kids and that is mainly all they discuss. So here is my question to those of you who can relate - Have you ever felt like all the women are staring at you when you and your DH or SO are hanging out w/ all the guys and all those women are wondering why you are over there instead of hanging out w/ the girls? Maybe I am just paranoid, but I do feel this way sometimes when I am hanging out w/ a larger group of people who don't know me extremely well. Like I said, I don't really have any girlfriends. I could care less what anyone thinks of me, but I will admit it makes me feel a tad awkward from time to time. Hope everyone here is doing well today and hello from me since I have not been on in a few weeks =)
Posted By: Nancy - Motorcycles Re: One of the guys - 02/25/08 11:26 PM
When I was younger, I had more guys friends. As I have gotten older and took a chance on getting to know some women, I have found out what I have been missing. I have children but that is certainly not all I talk about. Good fathers talk about their children alot as well. Some people are fascinating and I love to share but I have more in common with women. I don't do sports, fix cars, although I do ride motorcycles, which more and more women are finding to be fun. The only negative is that I am very extroverted and sometimes women perceive that as ball busting. Not at all, I am very pro woman and always have been.
Posted By: ilove1978 Re: One of the guys - 02/25/08 11:46 PM
I would definitely like to have more girlfriends, but at the moment in my current situation, it isn't really all that possible. My only co-worker is my brother (family business run by only members of my family) so no way to meet anyone at my job like alot of people do, my church is very small and the few women I do know are all old enough to be my mother (however they are all extremely nice) and there are no women my age there. So I am kinda the odd person out as far as meeting new people to be friends w/. I am happy and I am grateful at least to my DH who is my best friend in the whole world =)
Posted By: yorkiesRcool Re: One of the guys - 02/26/08 01:05 AM
I have always been the only girl in a big group of guys. I have liked it because girls can be so @itchy sometimes. I was like that all the way through college. But now that I am close to 30 I have almost all girlfriends, with the exception of my DH few friends, but then I have become friends with their wives...I can relate more now to other girls now that I am older. But I like being one of the guys. It is nice being the only girl, 'cause you get all of the attention!!
Posted By: Bifumus Re: One of the guys - 02/26/08 01:16 AM
ilove1978 - I hear ya. I run an office where I am the only full-time person, and the p/t employees come in, do their job, and leave, so I don't get much interaction that way. I work odd hours so most women I knew in college are not home when I am (the only ones that are would be the SAHM's).

When I was first getting my business going, and for a few years into it, I worked most nights until 8:30, and missed out on a lot of social opportunities. I find now that even though I leave early some nights, it's almost an engrained habit to turn down an invitation even if it's during a time when I can go. Weird, eh?

My best friend from high school was a guy. He now lives about 10 minutes away from me, with his wife and three young kids. We talk occasionally, mostly online, but rarely get together. His wife tries to act confident but he's told me that she's a very jealous person and doesn't understand how he and I can "just" be friends (I'm sure she would get it if the shoe were on the other foot and it was her and a guy in question.)

I think the place where I feel like the biggest outsider is in my neighborhood. We moved in almost 3 years ago, and are the ONLY people on the street w/o kids. I have nothing in common with these women, as their entire worlds seem to be focused on their kids. It's also obvious that the previous family had kids (they had 3) because the neighborhood kids think nothing of playing in our yard (actually ran through our backyard right in front of me once during a game of tag. Ask me why we now lock our gates.), which ticks us off to no end.

Wow... didn't mean to write a thesis there. Apparently I had some pent-up thoughts on this issue. Getting back to the main topic, I do wish I had more girlfriends too. My DH definitely helps keep me sane by being my best friend. grin
Posted By: Lisa LowCarb Re: One of the guys - 02/26/08 01:22 AM
I always liked hanging out with the guys; the types of interests I had seemed to align more with them than with the girls in my area. I was never into dressing up or makeup or anything like that. But as I've gotten older things have changed - I've found a lot of women who are very much like me and we enjoy greatly spending time together. So I think it's a matter of who you are able to find that share interests. I still like hanging out with guys too, but now it's not a matter of "the only real choice".

For example, I love computer games and programming. It used to be that only guys did those things. Now many women do too.
Posted By: M.B. Re: One of the guys - 02/26/08 02:04 AM
Since I was in first grade, I've never had more than one close female friend at a time. For the last decade, it's been the same girl. Everyone else I'm close to is male, and most of those guys are straight and single. (I admit I get weird looks from people who know my fiance and see me hanging out with another guy.) I've always felt more comfortable with guys in general.
Posted By: NotInterested Re: One of the guys - 02/26/08 02:33 AM
My best friends that I get along with best tend to be women! No, not romantically, but my general attitudes (not liking sports, not being macho, empathizing with others...) tends to make me not like guys as friends, but I tend to get along with women better.

Posted By: softstuff Re: One of the guys - 02/26/08 08:36 AM
I tend to relate better with guys, I also work better with them. They seem to prefer a jokey bantering approach and that's how I work best. We take the [censored] out of each other, but never take it personally. In addition I enjoy action films with plenty of blood and guts and UFC, plus I work in the video gaming industry so deal mostly with guys.

I struggled recently working with a girl who was image obsessed and very girly... considering the last time I had a haircut I did it over a sink myself, we had little in common. She bingoed my hubby at the works Xmas party... "so when are you guys having babies?", My hubbies answer of "never" brought that convo to a quick end!
Posted By: CF 4 Ever Re: One of the guys - 02/26/08 03:03 PM
I can go either way. I really value the female bond. My mother and Grandmother raised me and all my cousins but one when I was growing up were girls. I'm very female in my thinking, but not overly "girly" if that makes sense. But since my husband is my best friend, and we've been together since I was 16, I've gotten to understand the male mind really well. He tells me everything.

A few years back, before all his guy friends had kids or moved away, he'd take me along on guys' nights out. The guys were cool with it (they'd always invite me!) because I had no problem with guys just being guys.
Posted By: chattycat Re: One of the guys - 02/26/08 03:22 PM
As far as friends go, I have one close guy friend and 2 close girl friends from middle school. Actually, I lived next door to and have been friends with my one girl friend since I was 3 and she was 5. I am totally comfortable hanging out with these friends and/or their spouses/significant others at any time.

However, at family functions, I am typically hanging out with the guys because they don't talk about babies and kid related topics all the time. And, only one of the guys bingoes me; whereas most of the women do.
Posted By: NotInterested Re: One of the guys - 02/26/08 03:24 PM
Of the good female friends I have, I tell them, when asked, about how a guy thinks about things. I tell them direct. Sometimes it's not nice, but it is the truth. Deep inside I have a male ego, but it is subdued. But I can extrapolate and tell what other guys are thinking about. I have been praised by others for helping them understand the male species.

In return, I have learned a lot about how women think and feel. Actually, it is more like how women feel and think, since women tend to use emotions as a more important basis for making decisions. Some women like DW think like me -- more logically, but since she is a woman, I dare not assume that she ALWAYS thinks like me. In cleaning up the bedroom, we have some older plastic roses that have gathered dust (they were several years old). I dared not just throw them away, because I thought that she might still want them, being a woman. However, I deferred and asked her later if she would mind if I did that. Luckily, she agreed.

One thing that guys learn is that you never want to get on a woman's bad side -- especially if you are living with her.

Posted By: flyingaway Re: One of the guys - 02/26/08 04:47 PM
I'm not super girly, but I can't decide...mostly I have guy friends at the moment, but I still don't think guy friends are quite enough. I really do connect well with certain women (like here!) and need that outlet. Sometimes I've been to all-women events, and they can be such a blast!! As long as the whole motherhood thing stays out of it, and the competition isn't too bad, it's very freeing. I think I would have done well living in a village and having other women around more, or as a polygamist. crazy

I'm definitely less shy with women, and like at parties usually feel more comfortable approaching and talking to women I don't know, though I'm trying to get more confident.
Posted By: Anatasia Re: One of the guys - 02/26/08 10:41 PM
When I was younger, most of my friends were guys but in college where I met DH, we had a circle of friends (both male and female) that got along very well. I'm still friends with my girl-friends from college.

Work is a different story. My job has always been in a male-dominated industry and I never had many female friends at work. For the first time ever, at my new job, since I actually have female colleagues, I have made women friends. It might be an age thing too since there is isn't as much competition with women as we all get older.

I have noticed that men go through the whole mid-life thing and have more than one friend suggest an affair. Well, that kind of puts a damper on the friendship. So, for now, I prefer having work friendships with women over men.
Posted By: M.B. Re: One of the guys - 02/27/08 04:13 AM
Originally Posted By: frieda7
I'm definitely less shy with women, and like at parties usually feel more comfortable approaching and talking to women I don't know, though I'm trying to get more confident.


The opposite is true for me. My comfort zone is AWAY from the women.

At parties and other social gatherings (specifically those where I know very few people), I'm most comfortable in one-on-one conversations, mostly with guys. Women make me feel awkward and inadequate (I'm the short girl in jeans with messy hair surrounded by women who are taller, expensively dressed, and immaculately groomed) so I get a bit shy about starting conversations with them. Guys are so much easier to talk to. I never feel judged or lesser than them. I relate to guys -even those I've never met before- quickly and easily.

Also, my sense of humor tends to agree more with those of men. Women don't usually "get" me, my humor, or my tomboyish appearance and attitudes.
Posted By: .......... Re: One of the guys - 02/27/08 06:09 AM
I definitely agree. I usually have nothing to talk about with girls, especially if they're girly. I mean, I'm sympathetic by nature and I have a lot of other girl traits, but I've just always been more comfortable with guys. I'm not into hair, or clothing, or shoes - in fact, I'm most at home in a tanktop, jeans, and Birkenstocks. I hate high heels and wouldn't be caught dead in pantyhose. I don't understand the joy of shopping or see the need to keep my nails polished (I don't think I've used nail polish in years). My hairdryer was commandeered by DH and serves as a paint dryer, but I never used it anyway. I can talk football better than most guys I know and I can fix most things on my own car - I rebuilt my first carburetor at 17!

I just identify more with typical guy humor, too. I have women friends, and I understand that they have a role to play in my life, but I just tend to seek out men. My best friend is male, and most of DH's and my friends are guys. I hate it when they bring their wives/girlfriends over, because we never have anything in common but DH expects me to develop some sort of friendship with them. Ick.
Posted By: flyingaway Re: One of the guys - 02/27/08 04:58 PM
Originally Posted By: Trisharoni
My best friend is male, and most of DH's and my friends are guys. I hate it when they bring their wives/girlfriends over, because we never have anything in common but DH expects me to develop some sort of friendship with them. Ick.


Oh! I totally know what you mean. That happens with us too. We make a couple-friend, and both like the guy better, and I end up getting stuck hanging out with the woman more. If she's really bad, it gets even worse because the guys try and ditch you with her. mad
Posted By: bassgrrl Re: One of the guys - 02/27/08 05:34 PM
I suppose I qualify as a tomboy, but I have friends of both genders. The characteristic I tend to avoid is traditional types of either gender. I have nothing in common with submissive, catty mommy types or domineering Father Knows Best types. If I'm forced into a social situation with both, I'm more likely to hang with the machismo crowd or see how much Ro-tel I can consume.
Posted By: devils.master Re: One of the guys - 02/27/08 06:25 PM
I m just happy with my male friends and I don't want any girl friend. After settled in my life i would like to look for a girl and marry with her.
Posted By: Pikasam Re: One of the guys - 02/27/08 06:34 PM
I'm totally a tomboy, and while I have a number of great girlfriends, I have to say how WONDERFUL it was to go to Aspen a couple of weeks back and hang with the boys! I had two male roomies, and the event I was at had about 12 girls and over 100 guys ... so there was never a shortage of cute guys!!

Guys are so uncomplicated, it's such a pleasant change!
Posted By: M.B. Re: One of the guys - 02/27/08 06:53 PM
I'm most at home in a tanktop, jeans, and Birkenstocks.
Trish, your wardrobe sounds like mine!

My hairdryer was commandeered by DH and serves as a paint dryer, but I never used it anyway.
Exactly my hair dryer's situation, except that it was me using it to dry paint. The only time it was ever used to dry hair was when I loaned it to a guy friend a few years back. The only reason I even own a hair dryer is because my mother bought it for me years ago during one of her "equip her right and she'll turn into a real girl" phases. I acquired some make up, nail polish, a nail grooming kit full of parts I didn't understand, and a couple of dresses during that phase as well. The hair dryer is the only thing I still have.

I hate it when they bring their wives/girlfriends over, because we never have anything in common but DH expects me to develop some sort of friendship with them. Ick.

I've been there. It's so incredibly awkward. But my fiance understands me pretty well, and will do what he can to keep me from getting dumped with the chick. His friends tend to be the ones who are so sure I'll bond with the GF of the moment. It gets more complicated when the guy is MY friend, not OUR friend or just my fiance's. My only interest in the GF is finding out if she's a complete POS who's likely to hurt my friend. Beyond "vetting" her, I have no interest. I'll decide it's worth getting to know her if the relationship looks like it's going to go long term. Until then, I want her to go away so I can hang out with my buddy.

The GF always seems to pick up on my reluctance to hang out with her and interpret it as me being "after" her guy. Jealous comments and glares ensue. I'm pretty twisted, though, and always get a laugh out of it when she leaves.

Posted By: lua Re: One of the guys - 02/27/08 09:31 PM
When I was in college, I had a lot of male friends. Since I divorced, I have more female friends. I don't hang out with girly-girl types. Most of my female friends have a lot of guy friends, as well. My bf has a lot of female friends, but they are not the type I would be friends with. His male friends are redneck, sexist pigs. I don't dislike his friends, but at the same time, I have no interest in being friends with them. I have my own network of friends and he has his own. At work, I am friends with a male and two females. My field is female dominated. My other coworkers, I am friendly to them, but I don't consider them friends.
Posted By: .......... Re: One of the guys - 02/28/08 12:03 AM
Originally Posted By: myrabeth
The only reason I even own a hair dryer is because my mother bought it for me years ago during one of her "equip her right and she'll turn into a real girl" phases. I acquired some make up, nail polish, a nail grooming kit full of parts I didn't understand, and a couple of dresses during that phase as well. The hair dryer is the only thing I still have.
Ha ha! That's why I had one, too! I do wear makeup, but I used to be a theatre makeup artist, so I've played around with that stuff a lot. I have other strange girly bathroom things that I don't understand, but for some reason I hold on to them.

Originally Posted By: myrabeth
The GF always seems to pick up on my reluctance to hang out with her and interpret it as me being "after" her guy. Jealous comments and glares ensue.
Totally. I am not interested in anybody else's husband/boyfriend... that way. I'm much more interested in what the guys have to say, though.

I deal with mostly females at work, and it's drama, drama, drama. I'm a diplomatic happy person, though, so I'm the one cracking jokes to ease tension, doing stupid dances to cheer people up, etc. It's so relaxing to come home and hang out with the guys. I have one really good female friend that I actually see regularly. She's 10 years older, has a teenager but thinks it's great that I'm CF, and is slightly girly but in a fun, nonjudgmental way. She's great, but most other females just seem so COMPLICATED.
Posted By: .......... Re: One of the guys - 02/28/08 12:06 AM
Not the ones here, of course. I have a feeling that if we do ever have a CF conference, this is one group of women I'd actually get along with.
Posted By: GreyDrakkon Re: One of the guys - 02/28/08 01:59 AM
Haha, I have a hair dryer too, but I use it to "cure" leather masks! wink
Posted By: NotInterested Re: One of the guys - 02/28/08 03:16 AM
DW has a hairdryer too -- used to seal shrinkwrap on DVDs smile
Posted By: .......... Re: One of the guys - 02/28/08 05:02 AM
My DH is totally amused that this thread has turned into a conversation about our uses for hairdryers! I said he sparked a new discussion for us. His response? "Well, I gotta be good at something."

He calls all of you my invisible friends...
Posted By: GreyDrakkon Re: One of the guys - 02/28/08 06:18 AM
Hee. ^_^
Posted By: lngilbert Re: One of the guys - 02/28/08 01:13 PM
Better invisible than imaginary ...
Posted By: NotInterested Re: One of the guys - 02/28/08 02:07 PM
I post, therefore I am. smile
Posted By: KinderFrei Re: One of the guys - 02/28/08 02:12 PM
I have one and I tried to use it to heat emboss some stamping...it didn't work--embossing crystals went everywhere and my cats looked at me like I was a total idiot!

...I now have a heat gun for the embossing smile
Posted By: BillieCat Re: One of the guys - 02/28/08 08:04 PM
I had trouble w/the embossing as well, and I hated the shrink wrap on my gift baskets - I stopped using the hair dryer.

Back to the topic - I really enjoy being one of the guys!!!
Posted By: M.B. Re: One of the guys - 02/29/08 04:55 AM
What do you mean by "back to the topic?" Aren't mis-assigned hair dryers the topic? :p

Seriously, I think this group has turned thread-jacking into an art form. But I kind of like it. The conversations wind and change and branch out like a group of people talking in person. I think this is the only place on the net I've seen such normal, natural conversational progression in a large group. So does this speak well of our intelligence or our chattiness?
Posted By: BillieCat Re: One of the guys - 02/29/08 01:05 PM
And I love it when you said your cat has hijacked the threads....
Your cat is gorgeous!
Posted By: decided Re: One of the guys - 03/08/08 10:19 PM
I'm a lot girlier than many of my female friends - some of them see no point in spending time with makeup, hairdressing, perfume or jewellery, and I love these things.

But I also don't see eye-to-eye with many of them in conversations, which tend to be about their children and families. Most of the people who I consider interesting and fun friends are male.

I do have a blowdryer. It was just a cheapie, but it's awesome. It hangs on a hook by my dressing table and is always there for me! :o)
Posted By: GreyDrakkon Re: One of the guys - 03/09/08 06:16 AM
I wouldn't hate perfume so much if people actually knew how to use it. Spritz, not BATHE IN IT! :: shakes a fist at those who assault my nose ::
Posted By: Anatasia Re: One of the guys - 03/09/08 01:50 PM
Originally Posted By: decided
I'm a lot girlier than many of my female friends - some of them see no point in spending time with makeup, hairdressing, perfume or jewellery, and I love these things.

But I also don't see eye-to-eye with many of them in conversations, which tend to be about their children and families. Most of the people who I consider interesting and fun friends are male.

I do have a blowdryer. It was just a cheapie, but it's awesome. It hangs on a hook by my dressing table and is always there for me! :o)


I love all those things too. I have the time to make sure I look good so I take it. You never know when you're going to run into someone. Only difference is that I have a professional hairdryer. I kept burning out the cheap ones (I have long, thick hair).

My personality is what attracts me more to men and their conversations. I would love to find more strong, opinionated women that I could have a variety of intellectual conversations with, like philosophy, politics and religion. But I never have. My interactions with my female friends tend to revolve around relationships, family, careers, wine, food and fashion. Not that I don't like these conversations, I just sometimes want more.

Don't worry Grey, I wear just a touch of perfume. I don't think people should be able to smell me unless they hug me! I'm sensitive to a lot of different perfumes so I'm very careful there.

I hate, HATE, going to movies and someone around me smells so strong that I have to move. I have had to do that numerous times. And I've gotten off elevators for the same reason. That layering of scents technique that perfume makers try to push is really over the top.
Posted By: GreyDrakkon Re: One of the guys - 03/09/08 10:35 PM
See that's exactly it! Perfume should be alluring, it should make the person standing next to you want to lean in and sniff. (not obnoxiously sniffing like those moronic febreeze commercials though). Most of the time I feel like someone's performing chemical warfare on my nose and eyes.
Posted By: Anatasia Re: One of the guys - 03/10/08 05:45 PM
LOL! I totally agree. I hate it when some yahoo leans into my personal space to get a whiff. Back off buddy, that is my personal space. When that happens, I won't wear perfume for a few days.

They really need to do away with scenting everything. As a woman, if I didn't buy unscented everything, imagine the scents I would be polluting the air with: shampoo, conditioner, body wash, moisturizer (body & face), anti-perspirant, hairspray. Whew, I'm high maintenance, aren't I? wink

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