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so happy I stuck to my guns #879516
10/11/14 03:45 AM
10/11/14 03:45 AM
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 164
Tucson, AZ
A
antikid Offline OP
Jellyfish
antikid  Offline OP
Jellyfish
A
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 164
Tucson, AZ
I started posting on this site back in 2002. I have been away for years. Tonight I was reflecting on my choices and I realized I have so much to be thankful for. 12 years ago I was married and thought I was happy until my husband changed his mind and decided the need to procreate was a must for him. I realized if I didn't speak up about my unhappiness that I was sentencing us both to a life than was "less than" what we both wanted. We divorced in 2008. Even though my life became so difficult after the divorce, I have come out stronger and more resolved than ever to continue my child free lifestyle. I am with a wonderful man who shares my views about children and we live a very fulfilling life together. I teach in an alternative high school that caters to kids that are not successful in traditional high schools for whatever reason. Some of them are homeless and living on their own and some are parents or kids faced with incredible challenges. I find that the 100 kids I work with are both a challenge and a blessing. My decision to be true to myself was the best thing I ever did. I used to question my choices, but now 12 years later at 41 years old I am thankful and happy for the life I have. Thanks for listening and I hope this provides some perspective to some ladies who might be questioning their choices.

Living Without Children - Automated Note
For New Visitors: This forum exists as a support community for people who are living a child-free existence. This area is here to help nurture, inspire and educate those who, for whatever reason, are living their lives without children in the home.

Posts made here must be supportive of this lifestyle choice. Comments should not question a person's decision to or reasons for being child free. Those negative comments are called "bingoing" or "trolling" and are not allowed. Please be sure you are aware of this forum's intentions and rules before posting!

Re: so happy I stuck to my guns [Re: antikid] #879645
10/12/14 01:04 PM
10/12/14 01:04 PM
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,801
D
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor  Offline
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Elephant
D
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,801
Good for you!


Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator
Re: so happy I stuck to my guns [Re: antikid] #879661
10/12/14 06:00 PM
10/12/14 06:00 PM
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 306
Luxembourg
S
Solalux Offline
Shark
Solalux  Offline
Shark
S
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 306
Luxembourg
Good for you!
Actually I used to post here quite often too (although I gave up to pressure and ended up having a child) but the "married no kids" forum has been getting so few messages lately that I had the impression everybody gave up too and were having kids. Glad you hear you stuck to your guns :-)))

Re: so happy I stuck to my guns [Re: Solalux] #879662
10/12/14 06:17 PM
10/12/14 06:17 PM
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,801
D
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Debbie-SpiritualityEditor  Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Elephant
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,801
Solalux.....you might remember me. I started posting in 2010 as member name Cassie67. My marriage ended because my husband wanted kids and I did not. After 19 years together, 16 years married, our relationship was over. I am 47 now and I still don't regret my decision to be child free.

Good to see you again around here, Solalux!


Debbie Grejdus
Spirituality Site Editor
Spirituality Forum Moderator
Re: so happy I stuck to my guns [Re: antikid] #879663
10/12/14 07:08 PM
10/12/14 07:08 PM
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 127
G
gullivera Offline
Jellyfish
gullivera  Offline
Jellyfish
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 127
Hi Antikid, I remember reading some of your posts back when I came to this site (2009), ambivalent about kids. I'm glad you're doing fine. I'm also doing very fine. I decided to be CF and so far my husband is still with me!! We don't talk about it anymore, at all, and we are very happy together. We have talked about getting a dog though, eventually.

Re: so happy I stuck to my guns [Re: antikid] #886159
02/01/15 12:42 PM
02/01/15 12:42 PM
Joined: May 2008
Posts: 91
England
E
Elaine A Offline
Amoeba
Elaine A  Offline
Amoeba
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Joined: May 2008
Posts: 91
England
Good for you!
I firmly believe that we all have a right to make the choices we need in life to be true to ourselves.
I only wish more people would resist the pressure to bring children into the world when the reality is that they would prefer not too.
I am sure parents love the children they bring into the world, but there are other choices.
My aunt never had any children, the world was a different place then. Women did not have children without the benefit of marriage. I don't know if she regrets her decision we never speak of it. However she is the best aunty in the world and I love her to bits. She may not have children but she has many nieces who love the bones of her.
She may be childless but she is not without children.


Elaine - Adolescence Editor
Re: so happy I stuck to my guns [Re: Elaine A] #886170
02/01/15 06:42 PM
02/01/15 06:42 PM
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,367
Illinois, US
Yvonnie-Inspired Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Yvonnie-Inspired  Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Chipmunk
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,367
Illinois, US
I love the positivity of this thread. There was a time when MNK seemed to provide a space for hating children.

I'm glad you stuck to your guns too Elaine. We have to find our individual paths, enjoyment, and lifestyles. I love joy-filled people in balance & peace.

Soooo happy for you!


Yvonnie DuBose
Inspiration
Re: so happy I stuck to my guns [Re: antikid] #892461
05/20/15 10:02 PM
05/20/15 10:02 PM
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 473
Encore DT Offline
Gecko
Encore DT  Offline
Gecko
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 473
Happy for you! Kids truly are a blessing, but let's face it, not for everyone!


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Re: so happy I stuck to my guns [Re: antikid] #906924
02/14/16 12:37 AM
02/14/16 12:37 AM
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 14
Columbus, OH
T
tamlar01 Offline
Newbie
tamlar01  Offline
Newbie
T
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 14
Columbus, OH
I had my tubes tied at the age of 29, I turn 50 this year. NO REGRETS. So happy I found the love of my life who feels the same way. We will celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary this year. Hated hearing --- you'll regret it, you and your husband are selfish, and the the one that really stands out, if smart people stop having children we will not have enough smart people for the future. I tell them my best friend who was valedictorian married a valedictorian has 6 kids so she had mine for me.

Re: so happy I stuck to my guns [Re: antikid] #918080
02/09/17 12:05 PM
02/09/17 12:05 PM
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 59
J
jcorvette Offline
Amoeba
jcorvette  Offline
Amoeba
J
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 59
i had my tubes snipped when i was 35 years old or so. best thing ive done to my self. we love having no kids...when you hear about parents and the things they have to put up with their kids/brats. dogs are a much better companion.


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