Both of them are doing all of that on purpose and they also are enjoying it.
It is getting worst by the day and that started a few months ago.
First they want to be in debt again, they do not like at all that we have money aside and zero cent owed to anyone. That right there is a perfect example of how screwed up they are. I thought that when they started making their plans to be in debt again (in their heads it would cost too much to pay a painter to pain the walls and ceilings and to buy a tractor to cut the grass of our huge yard BUT they are making plans for 2 solariums which would both be heated and for at least another small building on our yard to put stuff in eventhough we have a big garage) but if that will calm them down it would be that they are actually in debt not just thinking about it. Then there's me who stopped showing them that what they are doing is working, sure it shows that I am a stressed mess but I do not show it when they are doing things on purpose, that is making them angry. And mom who spent all her life being proud of being sick (her favorite memory is when she was young and she waited 1 week to go see a doctor after she had an allergic reaction to a pie when she always got to the part where she was telling what the doctor told her when he saw her swollen face which was why did you wait so long she always had her face full of pride) and always told me (and my brother when he was alive) starting very young to not worry about her (and dad too - him too waits too long to seek medical help IF he does at all), when I finally stopped worrying about her and she realised that last year then she suddenly after more than fifty years started to complain about being sick.
I am making sure my plan is perfect before I leave. First I want to make sure that I get a job before my savings runs out (and i have to get a place that a minimum wage job would take care of that + food + etc) and I also want to make sure they cannot find me after I am gone.
In the meantime I am working on myself and I am putting money aside.
As for writing down everything they do to me I have a set date when I will stop doing that. Sometimes it is driving me more crazy than what they are doing. I also probably miss a lot since I am not always with a pen and paper near me so I have to remember and keep counting everything.
Dad = I had to deal with dubbing one (+1 when i was in bed) time and he pushed my buttons seventy-four (+7 when i was in bed) times.
Mom = She ignored me three times, complained about dad when he was not there one time, whined to me one time, interrupted me one time, tried to get pity from me one time, laughed in dad's back one time and pushed my buttons seventy-three (+1 when i was in bed).
Dad = I had to deal with dubbing nine times, he gave me a look one time and pushed my buttons sixty (+2 when i was in bed) times.
Mom = She ignored me six times, interrupted me five times, talked to me like I was a child one time, whined to me one time, complained about dad when he was not there one time, made fun of dad in his back one time and pushed my buttons thirty-seven times.
Dad = I had to deal with dubbing thirteen times, he gave me a look one time and pushed my buttons fifty-eight times.
Mom = She ignored me nine times, had an attitude two times, interrupted me one time, bothered me one time, acted like she learned something eventhough I had told her one time and pushed my buttons forty-four times.
Dad = I had to deal with dubbing five times and he pushed my buttons sixty-eight (+1 when i was in bed).
Mom = She ignored me five times, whined to me three times, interrupted me three times, made a sarcastic remark two times, gave me a look one time, had an attitude one times, acted like she learned something eventhough I told her about it one time and pushed my buttons thirty-six (+1 when i was in bed) times.
Dad = I had to deal with dubbing three times and he pushed my buttons one-hundred-twenty-seven (+1 when i was in bed) times.
Mom = She had an attitude three times and pushed my buttons twenty-seven (+2 when i was in bed).
Starting today I will separate by three what they do to me (this is how i rate my days [my complete morning routine + day + my complete night routine] when they do things 1 part its bad when they do things 2 parts its very bad and when they do things all day its horrible). Now at one point if I am still here I will stop doing that but for now I will continue (it is all documented like that - yes it drives me crazy sometimes even more but that documentation helps me prove how they are + it will be in their letter with everything else i want to say to them [always dreamed of facing them when i will cut them off my life but i know it will just be another opportunity for them to abuse me so like that they will not see it coming so no way for them to ruin this and also i will be able to tell them everything i want to tell them] that they will find after im gone forever) but I set a date before that time and if they have not told me they will take their vacation or they at least have to leave an entire day I will stop this before then.
Dad (start) = He pushed my buttons thirty-five times.
Mom (start) = She pushed my buttons twenty-two times.
Dad (middle) = I had to deal with dubbing three times and he pushed my buttons two-hundred-twenty-six times.
Mom (middle) = She whined to me five times, had an attitude three times, acted like she learned something eventhough I had told her two times, ignored me two times and pushed my buttons fifty-two times.
Mom (end) = She pushed my buttons four times.
Dad (when i was in bed) = He pushed my buttons two times.
Mom (when i was in bed) = She pushed my buttons one time.
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