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Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley] #874300
08/11/14 03:29 AM
08/11/14 03:29 AM
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Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
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Nancy Roussy Offline
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Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Today was a very bad day.

Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley] #874461
08/12/14 02:26 AM
08/12/14 02:26 AM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,487
Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
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Nancy Roussy Offline
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Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Today was a very bad day.

Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley] #874589
08/13/14 02:10 AM
08/13/14 02:10 AM
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Posts: 16,487
Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
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Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Today was an horrible day.

Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley] #875586
08/25/14 09:44 PM
08/25/14 09:44 PM
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Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
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Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
Tomorrow is the day I give my parents the ultimatum.

No excuses and no more delay, I don't care if there's a voice inside me that tells me to wait because that voice won't be listened to even if it's a real warning.

I cannot take it anymore.

Every day now there is a new drama and that in addition of them doing their best to slowly kill me mentally.

My dad for a second straight day has spent many hours in a wood lot cutting big logs of wood with a manual saw and then putting it in the back of our truck and these two days it has been sunny and hot. Apparently he thinks that he can do that with all our fire wood (we have enough for more than 1 year and all of it are big logs....even if he can cut it all before snow arrives in pieces short enough to fit our fire stove it will take him close to 100 trips from there to here for all of it). No life insurance, no will and everything is in his name. I did mentioned our nice neighbor that would love to help him but no the way he does it is the way to go if you listen to my parents. At least I know I have an exit if something happens to him with the short amount of money I have aside.

So tomorrow it is the moment of truth! I will come back here when it will be done to say how it went. I will have to wait until my dad is back home and has eaten, the past two days he has left at about 8:00 (yesterday i was sleeping so i dont really know but today i was awake in bed and it was 8:05 when he left) and he has come back both days after 15:00. I want them both in the room so they can both hear me, I do not trust any of them to really tell the other what I said, until this Spring I actually thought my mom had not told my dad about my vacation money gift to them, only when I heard him complain about one of the excuses given to me in a letter that I knew he knew (well probably not like i offered...i wont be shocked to learn my mom put a negative spin on it). I am nervous about it (just telling them hi when they look happy has always been nerve wrecking) but I am excited about it too, finally one way or another it will soon be over: They accept and I have a break to renew myself at least a full day alone or I start the motions to move out (either way thats what ill do but at least with a break i know i would be 100% in shape both mentally and pysically)!

It is weird but I have like that same feeling as the last time I came here and said that I would do it but this time the voices are not telling me to wait, underneath the fear I have a good feeling. We'll see tomorrow confused.

Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley] #875663
08/26/14 04:09 PM
08/26/14 04:09 PM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,487
Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
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Nancy Roussy Offline
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Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
It is done!

Last night I decided to approach it as a gift instead of an ultimatum then if they were to freak out or complain it would become an ultimatum.

I started by telling them how we are all going crazy in different ways and that a vacation for all of us would be the best. I mentioned that I can take mine here because I am not part of any drama outside this house but they are so relaxing here is impossible for them. Then I said that for me going on vacation it would cost much more than them because them they go visit a friend by car so it cost way less than paying for transportation, a place to stay, food and everything else. I offered 100$ for the days they will leave and come back and 100$ for every day extra. They were angry but they showed it by silence, my dad looked away and my mom looked straight then to my dad then straight again. I finished by saying that the offer was there and my mom said okay. I came here and soon after my mom asked my dad if he wanted to eat and he said later then went upstairs, my mom soon after went upstairs and told my dad she would take a nap in the attic and this is what she did. My mom is still there and after watching a little television he went to look out the hallway door upstairs and I think he is still there.

I was shaking like crazy (still am a little bit) but I did it!

Only people like my parents would take a paid vacation (that THEY WANT AND NEED) as an insult.

So I will wait. If in one year I go to bed and they have not accepted or refused I am starting the steps to move out, this did not turned into an ultimatum so they do not know this part.

Whether they accept or not I will move but like I said if I get a vacation I will be able to reload my mind which would be nice and much better before making life changes. Finding a place I can afford will be hard and it will be hard until I find a job but it can be done.

Now I have to wait and see where this will lead me.

Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley] #876799
09/07/14 12:59 AM
09/07/14 12:59 AM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,487
Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
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Nancy Roussy Offline
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,487
Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
This is not working!

I was so petrified when I had that talk that most of what I was supposed to say was not said so since then they are ignoring this (the worst were the first few days when they were acting like we are a perfect and happy family all the while MAKING ME CRAZY) so I had to come up with a better plan.

On September 16 they will leave at around 9:00 for Matane. This is more than one hour to go there and then another more than one hour to come back, in addition there's my mom's appointment and they will probably visit an aunt. The day before if they still have not told me yes I will leave on the table a letter with everything that needs to be said in it (the situation with all of us...that it is crazy that they are taking a vacation offer like an insult...that i am suicidal [its the truth...been like that since april...i have no idea why it took this long]...i will tell them the terms of the offer...all the options they have and what they mean...the day of the letter will count as day 0 and they will have a full year to tell me the answer and a full year to go...EVERYTHING). I will be asleep when they will read it and I still will be in my bedroom when they will leave so they will have a few hours by themselves to discuss this (PLUS i will have a RARE opportunity to at least have my morning routine go well).

I will be 38 years old on November 11 and look at me! I am living with my parents who are evil and killing me, I have no job, no relationship, no real friends (there are many nice people on the internet and i am VERY grateful for them all but still i have never met them), no future, nothing!

They have nine days to tell me they will go (they dont even have to go 1 full day...just 1 day to go and 1 day to come back is 1 full day and its the MINIMUM i ask!!!!!!!!!!!).

Only Shumi fighting to come back to who he used to be is stopping me from killing myself right now but my parents know full well I am suicidal (they heard me on the night of the final playoff game of the Dallas Stars...i said several time that i would kill myself...just eat some brazil nuts where noone is around and im dead in a few minutes...thats it) and they do not care so if that letter (if thats what it takes) is what wakes them up it won't be the suicidal part (just like when i spent about 1 year in the house before i turned 20...i never went out even in the yard...only slept or watch tv or cried...NEVER ONCE THEY ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG...NEVER ONCE LOOKED AT ME WORRIED).

Every single day when I get up I feel like I am in hell, a hell that repeats itself every single day and a hell that has no way out. And again they know this (its easy to see...sometimes its so bad that when i go out people i dont even know look at me worried...my own parents dont care) and do not care one bit.

I have read many comments on the internet from people cutting all ties with evil people from their lifes and hopefully one day I will be able to do that!

Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley] #876962
09/08/14 03:35 PM
09/08/14 03:35 PM
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,879
Indiana
Lynne - ChristianLiving Offline
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Wolf

Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,879
Indiana
The one thing I hold on to when stress is high and trouble is unbearable.

"do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley] #884101
12/20/14 09:40 AM
12/20/14 09:40 AM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,487
Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
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Nancy Roussy Offline
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,487
Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
My life being a hell that has no end and me having no purpose except than to suffer and have no reason to exist continues!

I had decided that today was a big day, I was ready to make a real decision, it was a perfect day since I have no Hockey game tonight so I could of went to bed relaxed, get up when I wanted to, do my morning routine normally and then take my time without having to look at the time but of course something had to happen to stop me from doing this!

I was getting the shower ready and all the water went away (SECOND TIME THIS HAS HAPPENED AND WE ONLY BEEN HERE SINCE OCTOBER 6)! The beauty routines for the mornings and nights are the only thing I never give up on and I had to go to bed (which is still an air bed on a floor in the basement since my bedroom is still not finished which by the way is not negative for me since i want my bedroom completely done before sleeping in it) dirty! And the worst is that there's a trick for when that happens and of course my mom did not mention this at all! It took her less than one minute to get the water back! So I will remain dirty all day long (i dont want to start taking showers in the morning again and i refuse to waste water by taking 2 showers)! And of course I can forget about the big decision!

Every time I do something like that and I am actually excited about it something has to happen! Every time! Whether it is something small or big or in between it cannot go well for me or just like now something has to happen to stop me from doing it!

My parents are still psychopaths but at least things were advancing for me; slowly but I was doing it! Everything was falling into place, I actually thought I was starting to get some luck back! Stupid me for thinking I could actually get a life that is normal or at least meaningful!

I even started to hit myself again because of that, I hit my head when I was writing in the other topics here earlier and I also hit my right thigh then my head again, I also said that I wanted it to be all over and I cursed whoever is responsible for me existing (do not believe in god but just in case he exist i gave him 2 fingers and told him to go to hell for making me)!

Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley] #885417
01/13/15 08:55 PM
01/13/15 08:55 PM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,487
Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
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Nancy Roussy Offline
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Nancy Roussy  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,487
Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
My mom had another freak out for no reason again tonight.

Before a show ended she told me something she received did not fit so I told her that I would go after check what their return policy are (Zazzle Canada - never ordered anything for myself - she bought a few hats 1 sweatshirt and a watch which is what does not fit). So I did that and then a few minutes later while still on the computer she came downstairs almost running and slammed the door of her room (mine is just next to hers). I figured that she was angry because she did not liked my attitude or something else (ever since i can remember either of my parents can turn at any time and change mood just like that) and a few minutes after I went upstairs and while I was preparing food she came there and acted like a child completely ignoring me. After that I came back downstairs and before reaching the stairs I understood why she became angry. She asked me earlier to scan and send pictures to two people by email, I said that I would do that after a show I would watch at 18:00 which was the show I was watching when she asked for me help, she must of figured when I stayed a little longer that I did not want to do it so this is why she acted like a crazed child. She went in her room to post the pictures to the two people. When I was writing this she came to her room and was singing to drive me crazy so I guess she won't ignore me the rest of the night.

When I thought of coming here to talk about that I decided to come here everytime my parents will freak out (i should tell you all about what happened the same week we came here!!!!!!!!!), this may help some people who read my posts and do not see how crazy my parents are. It is a huge wonder why I am not more screwed up than I am having these two lunatics as parents (yes i have MANY problems but it should be worst than it is considering)!

Re: What is your stress level today? [Re: Angela J. Shirley] #891710
05/13/15 07:12 AM
05/13/15 07:12 AM
Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,487
Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
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Nancy Roussy Offline
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Nancy Roussy  Offline
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,487
Grand-Métis, Quebec, Canada
That is the last time that I believe the clock of the ATP!

Since Tennis has started in Europe I have been getting up by the schedules. Three hours after when Rafael Nadal does not play and when he does on his off days it is one hour later, if he does not make the final two hours later. Until Roland Garros it is with six hours of difference in time zones but ATP were saying if was five with Rome this week, I thought it was weird so instead of checking it out (Time And Date is the best website for that) I went with them. Well, mistake since it is six hours of difference not five. No wonder I did not slept well the past two nights (insomnia was back last night). Plus I could of missed my game today!

mad!

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