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Husband Never Buys Gifts #846974
12/04/13 02:04 PM
12/04/13 02:04 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
Orange, CA USA
L
Lori - Marriage Offline OP
BellaOnline Editor
Lori - Marriage  Offline OP
BellaOnline Editor
Koala
L
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
Orange, CA USA
Men who don't buy gifts for their wives aren't exactly thoughtless but it helps to understand just what they're thinking after all.

Husband Never Buys Gifts

Does your husband buy you gifts?


Lori Phillips
Marriage editor

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Re: Husband Never Buys Gifts [Re: Lori - Marriage] #846986
12/04/13 03:04 PM
12/04/13 03:04 PM
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 440
Oceanside, CA
Grace - Mystery Movies Offline
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Grace - Mystery Movies  Offline
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Gecko
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 440
Oceanside, CA
Very interesting article. I can see why some men fall into the categories you describe, but I don't think I could be married to someone who didn't see the importance of exchanging gifts.

We just had great fun buying each other Hanukkah gifts - little things from the dollar store for the first seven nights, and something more important for the last night - that's tonight! Even if it only costs a dollar, a gift is a sign that you know each other and what the other would enjoy receiving.

I think people's take on gift giving is another one of those things that should be out in the open well before you get married.


Grace Rostoker
Mystery Movies Editor

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Re: Husband Never Buys Gifts [Re: Lori - Marriage] #847021
12/04/13 04:55 PM
12/04/13 04:55 PM
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
Orange, CA USA
L
Lori - Marriage Offline OP
BellaOnline Editor
Lori - Marriage  Offline OP
BellaOnline Editor
Koala
L
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 2,691
Orange, CA USA
Thanks for reading, Grace. Sorry for the formatting errors. I fixed them.

It's wonderful that you and your husband delight in giving each other gifts!


Lori Phillips
Marriage editor

BellaOnline.com Marriage
Twitter: @BellaMarriage

Dreams editor
Bellaonline.com Dreams site
The Dream Collective
Dreams: What are you trying to tell yourself?
Twitter: @tweetdreams4u
and @flutterby03
Re: Husband Never Buys Gifts [Re: Lori - Marriage] #850296
01/08/14 05:51 PM
01/08/14 05:51 PM
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,024
TX
Elleise - Clairvoyance Offline
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Elleise - Clairvoyance  Offline
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Elephant
Joined: Apr 2005
Posts: 4,024
TX
Mine brings home little surprises here and there, a good deal of the time. I'd never thought about it in depth, though, as in what happens if there's nothing. Not even those little things.

I'm not talking "SURPRISE 2 TICKETS TO ARUBA!!!" Which in my opinion, is not the time to be taking expensive trips in the first place (that's another topic) but the little things.

For instance, I LOVE PIZZA! As a surprise, my husband will pick up a pizza after his 11 - 12 hr shift and walk in the door like a waiter, lol, w/it.

Sometimes, he'll stop off at the groccer's and next door pick up a small candle or package of my favorite scents.

It's never too late even if you don't do these things and really, it can go both ways if you've that type of relationship where the partner, likes or appreciates small things.

I explained something once to my husband and he actually understood it. I said,

"You know, when you've decided to spend your life w/someone and you're the only one a person wants to be with, there's a part of us that's a reflection in your eyes. When that fades, or there's an indication of being taken for granted, a part inside fades because you want to be, to an extent, important enough to your partner, to see with, even if it's just a look or smile (it doesn't have to cost money), but something that shows you're still glad to be where and with whom you are wink

Last edited by Elleise - Clairvoyance; 01/08/14 05:58 PM.

Karen Elleise
Clairvoyance Editor
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Re: Husband Never Buys Gifts [Re: Lori - Marriage] #858520
03/04/14 11:30 AM
03/04/14 11:30 AM
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 91
AnneE Offline
Amoeba
AnneE  Offline
Amoeba
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 91
Hi Lori,

Gift giving is one of the 'love languages' mentioned in Gary Chapman's book which I recommend. You are right that many men (but women also) don't necessarily think of giving a gift as an expression of love OR they figure once they are married that they need to be more practical than that.

While it's tempting to focus on getting what you feel like you need from your marriage -- gifts or some display of affection, it's usually more productive to figure out what your spouse views as an expression of love and try to provide that first. If you are lucky, he will chose to reciprocate and you can then suggest what you'd really appreciate.

Yes, there is marriage counseling, but most men require wild horses to drag them to it.


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