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Grace,

I used to be afraid to drive. But I got over it. I think Lisa's approach to slowly see the benefits of what you fear and to take small steps to desensitize would work for lots of fears. If you like, maybe we can brainstorm some baby steps to help you with your fear? And I do recommend Lisa's book.


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Grace -

I've sent along the ebook in PDF format. I'd love to hear any feedback you have.

Yes, definitely, I find the same approach works on a variety of fears. You take them in tiny tidbits. You work on one small manageable tidbit at a time.


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Sandra -

Interestingly, as you saw, I do even use a fear of driving as an example. It's something that most of us have to overcome.

Absolutely it's true that the more things we learn to face, the better we get at facing them. It's great for our overall growth and stability.


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My murder mystery #nanowrimo project is now complete! 196 pages, 52,000 words. Happy!

Now comes the polishing smile With my first one winning that gold medal, I now have high standards for the second one, and want to make sure it lives up to the expectations.

How are you doing?


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Just finished a polishing read-through of Sworn Loyalty, my 11th #medieval novel which is slated to be published in late September. Every time I read through one of my books I make little tweaks to it. There's always something to change. #writing


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Lisa,

Thanks for the PDF. I look forward to reading this afternoon.


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Sandra,

Thank you for your support. I got my UK driving licence over 30 years ago and was always a confident driver, and I enjoyed driving too. I didn't have a car for a few years - couldn't afford it - and then in 2011 came over here to get married. I've got my USA Learner's Permit and have driven a few times, but find the amount of traffic and the multi-lane roads very unnerving.

Also I never had a car with power steering, I just used brute force to turn corners! So that's something else to get used to.

I suppose it's a question of just doing it until it feels familiar, but that's problem. I want to start driving, but at the same time don't want to get behind the wheel.

If you can suggest any ways to overcome this, I'll be most grateful indeed!


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Grace,

I can see your predicament. I'm sure getting used to driving on the opposite side of the road is a challenge, too. In fact, my acupuncturist just visited his brother in England and he commented that he thought the British drivers were more courteous than US drivers.

I know that I am not fond of multi-lane traffic and avoid when I can. I don't think I would be comfortable without power steering.

So here are some thoughts on baby steps to try. Just jump in with where you feel you are in the steps. And we can discuss them together. I am happy to give support.

1. Just sit in the car with it running. It may help to visualize a route you need to drive and imagine successfully driving there. Deep breathing helps, too.

2. Practice driving in your driveway. (I am not sure if you are on a major road or have a driveway. I'm going by what I think I would try to do. When I began driving, my parents had me drive in and out our long private driveway. Then I practiced turning and parking in our field and a local parking lot.)

3. You may want to practice on a low-traffic road if one is convenient. Or in a parking lot and pretend there are cars on either side of you. This is good practice for the using your mirrors. Short burst of driving to and from home with a safe place to turnaround is an idea.

Let me know if any of these ideas appeal to you. Are they too simplistic or do they seem too hard?

P.S. You can always play a driving video game for practice.


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I love Sandra's ideas. Especially practicing in quiet areas. Practice in an empty parking lot. Just drive around and around in the parking lot. That helps a lot!


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My 12th medieval novel, In A Glance, is now being read by my reviewing team. My aim is for that one to go live in November.

I have novels 13-17 all in various stages of writing, but none are complete yet.


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