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The latest Marriage site article explains how it works:

Marital Help Marriage Boost

Daily Marriage Boost #1: Find something to appreciate about your mate and be sure to tell him/her.

"I want you to know how much I appreciate that you..."

Have stuck with me so long.
Are kind to my parents.
Are a good father/mother.
Listen to me.
Make me feel so loved.
Are my most trusted friend.
Work so hard for us every day.

Gratitude has power to change everything.

what a great idea, Lori!

Oh, thank you, Lisa! In the editors's chat the other day, we were discussing how to engage our readers on a daily basis. This is tougher for some of our topics such as marriage.

Lisa Shea talked about how some lighter threads for these forums and for Facebook can get people to tune in because they are quick, easy and engaging. People need outlets to lighten up their serious days.

I can see how you might do the same for both of your topics! Make a daily suggestion for a small activity that would help your readers remember to be a better mother. Break down larger chores (even like keeping a child's photo album) into small steps. As for Judaism, you could challenge your readers to learn about something or put their faith into action.

Daily Marriage Boost #2:

Stand behind your mate and give him/her a 60-second (or longer) neck massage. The released endorphins will help him connect those feel-good feelings with you.

The power of touch. It is wordless yet infinitely far-reaching if the energy behind the touch is of love and gratitude.

Daily Marriage Boost #3: Listen to Ingrid Michaelson's "The way I am."

"The Way I Am"

If you were falling, then I would catch you.
You need a light, I'd find a match.

Cause I love the way you say good morning.
And you take me the way I am.

If you are chilly, here take my sweater.
Your head is aching, I'll make it better.

Cause I love the way you call me baby.
And you take me the way I am.

I'd buy you Rogaine when you start losing all your hair.
Sew on patches to all you tear.

Cause I love you more than I could ever promise.
And you take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.
You take me the way I am.

Daily Marriage Boost #4: Remember that you don't always have to agree so avoid the trauma of trying to change each other's mind!

Accept the other's right to have his/her own way of thinking. You are two halves of a whole so, of course, you'll see things from completely different perspectives. It's a good thing.

(Sorry I was late with this. I had an out-of-town family emergency.)

Daily Marriage Boost #5: That same person you fell in love with is still there underneath the daily burdens. Coax him/her out to play.

Ugh. This might have to be changed and called "Occasional Marriage Boost" because I have been so behind. It feels as though we have been moving, moving, moving our entire marriage.

We think we are minimalists until we have to move our stuff. Honestly, we are at the point of setting it all afire. As long as we have each other, we'll be okay.

I came up with this latest marriage boost when my exhausted husband, covered with sweat and paint, looked at me and managed a weak smile. And I saw that darling dimpled grin that melted my heart years ago.

I think this is a great idea, thank you.

Hey Lori,

I happened to be madly in love with my husband - however, I do enjoy dropping by to get extra tips on keeping it real. Thanks for being the best you and sharing your tips.

Daily Marriage Boost #5: Ask him/her out for a make-out date. First base only (kissing).

Do you remember getting lost in each other's kisses? Deep, long, sensuous kisses that make you swoon? Running your fingers through his/her hair, caressing skin, cuddling are allowed!

Hey Lori,

My husband just read this one and enjoyed it - he said since the kids are gone for the weekend we can go down memory lane with this tip. I agree! Keep posting those tips so others can have a smile on their face or at least a good thought.

Tuculia, you made my day!

Thank you so much. You are such an asset to this earth. I read your posts and everyone benefits from your spirit.

Daily Marriage Boost #6: Maintain your own interests. It makes you a more interesting person.

People without any interests are uninteresting.

Daily Marriage Boost #7: Sleep naked tonight. Skin on skin.

If it's cold, turn up the heater or snuggle closer.

Daily Marriage Boost #8: Offer a prayer for him today. Remember that you are one of his greatest blessings. Are you?

Daily Marriage Boost #9: Don't try to win the argument. Win his heart instead.

Daily Marriage Boost #10: Love his quirks. Let him know he is good as is by not trying to change or criticize him.

Daily Marriage Boost #11: Let him have his way because it makes him happy and you love to see him happy. Are you spoiling him? Yes!

Daily Marriage Boost #12: Behold the divine power of sex. An orgasm is healing, bonding, rejuvenating. Restorative.

Daily Marriage Boost #13: A silent man is not necessarily a content man. Are resentments festering? Ask what you can do to make him happier.

Daily Marriage Boost #14: Do something today that will lighten his/her physical or emotional load.

Daily Marriage Boost #15: Be positive about your finances. Count your blessings. Security is a state of mind, not a balance in your account.

Daily Marriage Boost #16: Commit to improving one of your negative traits that affects your marriage.

Ten Personality Traits that Try Marriages

Daily Marriage Boost #17: Being well-hydrated leads to well-being. Pour a glass of pure, clean water for both of you.


It's hard to think and act your best when your mind and body are not well-hydrated. Our edginess can make us short and cranky with others. Drink plenty of clean water to keep your systems functioning well.

Give him/her plenty of water, too!

These are all great tips, Lori. I especially like the ones dealing with physical touch....massages, kisses, and intimate time. All so important and bonding.

Thanks, Debbie. Physical touch *is* so vital. And I'm sorry that this is what you are missing with your loved one. I know that I am missing this with mine. I have pictures and memories of my precious little boy but I can't replace the physical touch we shared. Just holding him, running my fingers through his hair, kissing his face, caressing his arms.

:****(

Daily Marriage Boost #18: Take a peaceful walk together today. It symbolizes sharing your life journey. Fresh air and exercise releases endorphins.

Also, Easter is a time of new beginnings. Renew your marriage today with the intent to make it awesome!

Thanks, Lori. My body still remembers how it felt to touch him and what it was like to be touched by him. It is painful. One of the hardest things to live without.

He was always in pain in his back and neck and I gave him massages every day. It bonded us, and he gave back in return which was wonderful. I learned so much about the power of touch and how it showed love.

Daily Marriage Boost #19: Do something wonderful for the other "loves" in his life. Pets, children, parents, car, hobby, etc.

One of the most powerful ways to increase his love for *you* is to love and be loving to the other beloveds in his life.

Daily Marriage Boost #20: The antidote for starting to turn into an old fart? TICKLE FIGHT!

Daily Marriage Boost #21: Learn something new today. Share this info with him.

Mental stimulation is like the fountain of youth. Keep each other young with new and interesting information. Not gossip. Knowledge.

Daily Marriage Boost #22: Get a blanket and snuggle together. Learn the art of snuggling!

The Art of Snuggling

Daily Marriage Boost #23: Kiss as if it is the last kiss you'll ever share. You never know...

Not to sound macabre, but life can change in the twinkling of an eye. Regrets can be the heaviest burden to bear. Treat each other with the same, intense, passionate feeling you'd have if it were the last time you'd be together. Say what you'd want to say.

And if you are so blessed to be together again at the end of the day, you'll still have no regrets about the extra loving.

Sometimes before we part for the day, I fling out my arms rather dramatically and say, "Kiss me in case I die!" And he laughs. But we share one incredible and passionate kiss--just in case!

Daily Marriage Boost #24: Play. Bring out your inner child to play with his/her inner child.

Have you forgotten how to play? Play is healthy for your relationship. Good old-fashioned play like you played as a child. Non-competitive. Just for fun. Imaginative. Bring out your inner child and play together.

Daily Marriage Boost #25: Change your paradigm. Think of one annoying trait of his that you can see as quirky. It makes him who he is.

Daily Marriage Boost #26: Focus on your own personal fulfillment. Don't rely on him to make you happy.

Too often we rely on others around us to provide happiness. Happiness is an inside job. When you are living a fulfilling life everything else tends to fall into place.

Daily Marriage Boost #27: No money? Good thing kisses are free. Make a list of other free simple joys and enjoy them.

Sunrises, sunsets.
Fresh air.
Walks along the beach or in your own neighborhood.
Laughter.
Doggie kisses.
Cat's purring.
Fragrance from flowers.
"Performances" (dance, singing) by your children, grandchildren.
A cool, clean glass of water.
Street performers (musicians, etc.)

Can you add to this list?

Today's Marriage Boost #28:Food is an offering of the mind-body-spirit.Create and feed him something good as a token of you. Imbue it with love first.

Daily Marriage Boost #29: Love is not assaulting him with endless talking.

Women and men have different ways of venting and relating. Women like to talk. Men prefer to release their emotional energy in physical ways.

It's not that men don't like to hear what's on their wives' minds but we have to admit, we tend to jabber on about every passing thought. It really is a kindness to redirect those thoughts to friends who really want to hear it or just be your own best friend and talk to yourself!

When talking to your husband, choose wisely what you share, and he'll not only be more attentive in the long run but he'll appreciate you more for it.

Daily Marriage Boost #30: Create and share your bucket lists. Try bucketlist.org to get ideas and post your bucket lists online.

Help each other reach goals and experience life dreams.

I really like this one! Thanks Lori!

Daily Marriage Boost #31: Today, do one thing out of the ordinary together. Don't settle for a ho-hum marriage. Add some spontaneity and surprise.

I always do. Not intentionally sometimes. yikes.

Daily Marriage Boost #32: Plan a private happy hour. Both of your fav drinks, fave music, fav noshes. He'll look forward to it every week.

Forget the noisy bars and stuffy lounges. Better venues? Your own patio, balcony, living room. Don't forget the three essentials: drinks, noshes, music.

I love the Private Happy Hour -- we have ours every day at 5 pm! A glass of wine, and just last night we decided to include a 10 minute back and shoulder massage.

Our essentials are drinks and music and now massage. We save the noshes for dinner! :-)

That is fantastic, Laurie PK! You made my day!

I love the massage idea. Now THAT'S a Happy Hour! Thanks for that GREAT idea. You're lucky to get in a Happy Hour every day. We just manage once a week but what a fun thing to look forward to at the end of every day.

BTW, love your pic and cute nose!

Daily Marriage Boost #33: Reach for him first tonight. Husbands report they *love* when their wives initiate sex.

It's not that wives don't like sex so much as they place too many other things higher on their priority lists. Give yourself permission to take the time to enjoy your husband. It's good for your emotional, physical and mental health. It keeps you youthful. And, oh yes, it does wonders for your marital relationship!

Daily Marriage Boost #34: Vow to be his best friend this weekend instead of his spouse. Forget the chores and do something fun!

Daily Marriage Boost #35: Try a new food together. Travel without a passport. Be adventurous with your palate.

You may not like what you try but it will be fun to try.

Daily Marriage Boost #36: Appreciate the Earth on this Earth Day. Plant a seed. Witness a miracle.

Never underestimate the power of nature and her influence in your life. Donate to earth-sustaining charities such a clean-up efforts or preservation causes.

Plant something together and feel the bonding over watching it grow.Beautify and fortify your life with nature.

Daily Marriage Boost #37: Tap into the power of scent. Get him a new intoxicating fragrance that drives you wild. Get one for you that does the same to him.

Our olfactory senses are deeply connected to our primal brains. Let scent trigger some relationship bonding.

Daily Marriage Boost #38: Love is freedom. Does your marriage include free will? Control, coercion, manipulation is not love.

Being married does not mean you have to be under each other's control. Two individuals join together for a shared life but not a limited life.

Liberate your marriage for ultimate happiness.

Daily Marriage Boost #39: Give each other a five-minute foot rub. Wash first or use a warm, soapy towel. Your feet are underappreciated until they don't work!

The feel-good endorphins are fantastic for your marital health when they are stimulated by the person you love!

Daily Marriage Boost #40: Explore and expand your minds together. Discover something new via your cable television programming. Watch something informative and awe-inspiring.

We just watched, "Chasing Ice" with incredible footage of the melting glaciers that are the result of global warming.

Foreign films also give you some insight into other cultures around the world.

Daily Marriage Boost #41: Afternoon delight? How 'bout a snuggly nap together on this lazy Sunday? Or whatever.

Daily Marriage Boost #42: Don't give up on each other. Believe in the best of both of you.

Foot rubs are divine.

Naps together are heavenly and cozy.

Believing in the best within each other is love at its finest.

Bravo, Lori!

Thanks, Debbie. You're terrific!

I wanted to share with you that I had a vision of your boyfriend standing in a beautiful sunny meadow with a bouquet of flowers in his hands for you. Someday, when you cross over, he will greet you in this manner. And your loved ones will be there, too, because he wants to marry you the moment you get there.

Daily Marriage Boost #43: List all the things you love about your mate. Add to it every day. Watch your appreciation grow and your resentments fade!

Daily Marriage Boost #44: Forgive his imperfections and mistakes and you would have him forgive yours. He isn't supposed to be perfect. Just loved.

Daily Marriage Boost #45: Brew him/her a cup of tea. Any type. Soothing, healing. Marriage should be like this. Ahhhh.

As the English might say, "Never underestimate the power of a cup of tea."

Daily Marriage Boost #46: Treat him like the king of his castle. Take turns being royalty. Unless you've bred some surfs to serve you both.

Daily Marriage Boost #47: Take a hot shower when you come home to wash away the day. Feel fresh, clean and ready for a relaxing evening with your honey.

We all need transitions from work to home. Wash off any of the day's hassles and prepare to cocoon in your own refuge. It's so nice to be home together.

I like the idea of the hot shower. It can make you feel seductive and cozy.

Lori, I just went back to review the last few posts and I read about your vision. The picture of my boyfriend standing in a meadow with flowers in his hands for me is so sweet, and the beauty of it brought tears streaming down my face. What you've interpreted is the ultimate expression of true love for another.

I am very touched, and blessed. Thank you, Lori.

I'm sorry you and he are separated in the physical, Debbie. It must be so hard for you. But there is a reason why you are still here. Do you know it yet?

Lori......I have no idea what I planned out for myself in spirit before I got here. To lose three men I loved very much (2 marriages and my boyfriend) in one fashion or another is a bit much. Two out of the three men I was with I loved at a higher level, so much more deeply than my first marriage. I am confident that I will find one more good love while I am in this realm, so I know I will impact one more man with a lot of love. It is just the way I am. I can't love part way. I am all there.

My boyfriend had a plan of his own to follow. I respect it, even though I don't like it. He knew even when he was very young that he would not live to be old. He told his mother all the time, long before I came into his life. His physical body finally failed and he had to go. He was here just long enough for me to get over my divorce (he was a rebound guy for me and it took me two years to heal enough from the divorce not to cry about it all the time). One month after I started to feel better, my boyfriend passed on. Maybe that was the last part of his plan, to comfort me and help me to heal, and to help me realize that I can love again.

The medium I visited said he told her that we have done this many times. We've come down to earth and have been in each other's lives. I know that is why I was so drawn to him from day one. He had an aura about him, and it was a soul recognition.

So, no.....I don't know my plan or my reasons for being here except that I am still young and healthy. My boyfriend passed at age 49 and obviously fulfilled his purpose here. My heart still aches over the void he has left behind, but I know he hears me when I talk with him and he wants for me to be happy. The rest I have to deal with one day at a time.

Thanks again, Lori.

A strange thing happened today that goes along with our last few posts.....

A woman friend whom my boyfriend hadn't spoken to in a while sent him a card, which was just received yesterday. Obviously she didn't know that he had passed on. She said she realized it had been some time since they had last talked, she was thinking of him, and she hoped he was doing well healthwise and otherwise in his life. She said that the last time they spoke he was ENGAGED and living with the woman in his life. I was shocked!

He never did take the word marriage lightly, and I think he was afraid to marry again. He would never want me to even utter the word (Lord knows I would have married him long ago and he knew it). So why would he tell this woman he was engaged? Certainly his friends and family that I know are not aware of this. Even if he was trying to push away unwanted attention from this woman, I am convinced he would never say he was engaged as an excuse. Nobody else has lived here with him but me. He was very independent, and besides that he had no problem handling himself in situations with women.

Lori.....what do you think this is all about? Is it another sign from him, especially since you had that vision? It is believed by many people that there are no coincidences.....

I will PM you.

Daily Marriage Boost #48: Crank up some oldies from any decade you like. Fun memories. Dare you two not to bop to the beat.

My husband and I laugh to hear some of our favorites being played on a "oldie" station now. Sting, Michal Jackson, Fleetwood Mac, Steely Dan? We thought oldies were Glenn Miller and 50's music.

Daily Marriage Boost #49: Teach him a few stretches or yoga poses. He'll be surprised at how good it feels and may get hooked!

Daily Marriage Boost #50: Everyone likes to be admired. Go ahead. Admire him/her and say why.

Everyone needs to feel significant. Men really want respect from women and they often will dump a critical older wife (who is getting wise) for a younger more naive wife (who still thinks her man is an infallible hero). Women want to feel loved and often will subconsciously seek out a more attentive partner.

I still admire my husband for his many gifts and talents. I still think he is one funny, brilliant guy. I still laugh at his jokes and fawn over his intelligence. And that's the only reason he keeps me around, I tell him, to preen his ego. haha!

This is great, and so true, Lori!

Daily Marriage Boost #51: We all crave approval from those we love the most. Stop the critical statements you make towards him/her or anyone else!

We often criticize those we love the most. Why? We examine them too closely for imperfections.

I finally realized that my husband is not required to be perfect to be loved anymore than I am expected to be perfect.