BellaOnline Forums Relationships Domestic Violence Situation Need help

(This just happened) like now (9:22pm). I had a well, just spoke to my husband about feelings I had, concerning the next door or just people. Don't know them, haven't heard them, nothing, just said, I've a bad feeling in that direciton...VERY bad feeling.

I'm not unfamiliar w/domestic vilence.

For this situation, I'd appreciate any person's heart-felt perspective. (Truth-eyes)

This evening speaking on the cell (which I can't get reception inside the house) so I have to go outside to get a signal.

Talking away, (I'm on a lake so sound travels)I heard rustling and two people arguing and a woman said, "You ever touch me again, and you won't walk out of here alive!!" She must have said it 3 or 4 times, enough that I heard it over my conversation.

I went in the house, told my husband and he locked the door. I said, "What are YOU doing/" She needs help.

He said, "It's not a good idea..."

I'm like so just mind your own busines???"

I put on some sweats and shoes and he said, "What are you doing?"

I said, "I'm going to at least make my presense known so she can get away..."

He was /is furious w/me...he said, "You don't know what he's capable of."

I said, "We can't just stand here, there's no harm at least shining a flash light in that direction." I had my PJ's on...he wanted nothing to do with it, but went out anyway.

What could I have done better or what does anyone feel I should have done?

Police are a good 1/2 hr. away. But I didn't care, I just put on some clothes and tennis shoes so I could run if I had to.

Hi Elleise, I don't know if you remember me, but this is Eleise, your Higher-Self...and I'm here to help.

I understand your concerns, as I've known you for some time, and commend your bravery. However, your husband has a point and hopefully you'll be able to receive what I have to share.

You DON'T know what exactly is going on and do not know as well, what the person or person's involved are/were capable of and could have walked into something quite deadly.

Looking back, did you have a visual? Were you able to hear and see where you were going or who the people were?

I'm going to gather you were not able, as you mention you had your "PJ's on", as well as "Sound travels" on the lake...

"Minding your own business...?" Well, As your Higher-Self, knowing you quite well, I don't feel you would have been able to live in "good conscious", knowing you did nothing.

Domestic violence is (as you know) almost always a cyclical environment. As such, it is likely and almost bound to happen again.

I would take this experience and utilize it as you would a drill. Prepare, assuming you will likely hear a similar situation again.

Locate precisely where the police, for your area, are and if you feel comfortable, pay a visit and at the very least express what you heard. They're likely to tell you there's nothing they can do and the person's involved need to file a complaint.

However, just making the situation known, may alert them so if you do happen to be in the same position again. You can add their number to speed dial, locate in advance a spot you are able to get a cell-signal (out of view) from wherever you feel the voices were coming from and then make a call while preserving your safety.

You live in a different world and many simply do just feel the need to mind their own business. However, hopefully you will be able to utilze some of the information provided here to deal with and act to the best of your ability, one in which you seem to have a leg in both .

Hi Elleise, Lately I have been thinking about my neighbors and the 'mind your own business' stance they took over the past year. My abuser and I had many fights outside on the patio or in our alley that I know some of them must've heard. And I could've really used help at times. Especially with our most recent, and last episode. You are doing the right thing. Always keep yourself safe. But it is a great idea to stop by and let your presence be known. If you find her alone, if you feel comfortable, offer to store a safety box of her things outside your house for an emergency. One of my neighbors let me do this, and though I never used it, it helped me feel safe knowing it was there. Do not be the silent neighbor who pretends like everything is ok. Follow your heart and intuition. She may really need your help someday... Much love and light WishingStar

Yes, you are doing the right thing, even it is just a hunch something is wrong, call the police, fire department, whoever you can get out there as quickly as possible. I have heard too many times people wishing they had done something when they suspected abuse then the person ends up dead. I have had to go to court to testify against someone who was beating the stuffing out of his girlfriend in someone's yard while I was walking by to go to the store. He was stomping on her head. if I would not have called the police, she could have died. Had I not gone to testify against him (she was too afraid to show up) he would be out on the street doing it to her again or another woman. You keep yourself safe, but don't be a bystander.

Jeanette and Wishingstar

Thank you...

It's taken a bit to come back to this situation for an update, primarily because we just moved to this area and well, being no time for the weary just happened to be, as well, the middle of a nature preservation/reserve (can we just start our own support group?? It just gets weirder and weirder.

Basically, this is a vacation/retirement area (some live here full-time) playing by the beat of its own drum. SoOOOooo, ya...

What I decided to do was to make a formal statement to the township in writing. I stated I understood it is up to the person involved to file the complaint herself but felt, new to the area, at least someone out there should be let known what I heard on more than one occasion in case something were to happen.

We're on a lake (big one) so sound really travels. It took a while for me to be certain where exactly it was coming from. 2 lots over.

The lot belongs to a man. The woman visits. It's a gated community too.

Where I'm going with this is...well...trade-offs.

I'm offering up that someone out there does get it. They may be willing to put up w/a lot and that they're not alone.

Recently, she came back and brought the man an SUV's worth of grocceries but came with a female friend for support. I wouldn't have even seen this, had the dogs not gone nuts, so I looked out the window.

She placed them on his patio and wouldn't go into the house. He kept coaxing her though and she'd step away.

Does this sound familiar to anyone? Like trying to set boundaries, yet feeling guilty at the same time.