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Re: Your reasons for being child-free? [Re: Mary Leavi] #770704
06/30/12 01:59 PM
06/30/12 01:59 PM
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Gaynor8002 Offline
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love the list Sam ! you always wonder if you should follow this or that path in life, and kids is one of the big question marks - look at the number of women in their 40's going for ivf now, up 500% since 1992. ( in the UK, don't know about the U.S.)
But I think alot of it, is , women are wondering what the 'next step' in life holds, and thinking maybe kids are the solution.
We need to wake up to the huge opportunities life now offers, and stop listening to the media and society that constantly urges us to have kids, as the answer to all our problems,....Because, REALLY ?? if it was that close to nirvana, all the intelligent, educated , thoughtful women ( and men, sorry Burt ) would be first in the queue. and you only need to look at a few things on that list to make you question that decision, let alone all of them, and more besides.
Life's what you make it. wether you have kids or not. It's just great to keep looking at this site to feel 'normal' and see what other people, who have chosen not to have kids, get up to.
A snap shot of my afternoon ; I'm chillin' with a glass of wine, hubby has just finished playing with his new camera, and is now downloading some greek verbs ( we go to greek lessons ) we're out tonight for a meal with friends, and have a late night film lined up....bliss.

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For New Visitors: This forum exists as a support community for people who are living a child-free existence. This area is here to help nurture, inspire and educate those who, for whatever reason, are living their lives without children in the home.

Posts made here must be supportive of this lifestyle choice. Comments should not question a person's decision to or reasons for being child free. Those negative comments are called "bingoing" or "trolling" and are not allowed. Please be sure you are aware of this forum's intentions and rules before posting!

Re: Your reasons for being child-free? [Re: Mary Leavi] #770707
06/30/12 02:57 PM
06/30/12 02:57 PM
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 1,855
Burt B. Offline
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It boils down to responsibility and fiscal prowess.
Also, if you have the life experience that you feel will be useful for the next generation.
I was to willy nilly and irresponsible with not much of a direction in life.
Most probably the ' peter pan '.
So, why impose that on new life ?
I could never keep a schedule let alone three jobs like my dad did, not much fire here so I had to do the I, me, me generation and be selfish and greedy.
Not to mention that I have a mental illness that started at age 16.. got worse @ 22 and full-blown @ 33.
Um... driving down the road and hearing voices is not the kind of seed I want to pass down.
Connie and I got up today when the mood struck us...
Had coffee, got a call from my step-daughter in another state to chat... enjoyed the warm sun on my knees.. fed the cats and watched the little European Starling we are raising... Looked up the type of bird on Connie's phone.... checked in with the business... now the little cat is laying by my leg as I type and drink coffee and [censored] off without having to worry if my kids are in a car wreck...
Um... yeah... I'm 50 now and I prayed to get rid of this damned sex drive as a Scorpio... Thank God for time to lower the hormone rage !!!
Peace, and Peace and Peace.. and no competition from the in-laws...
Ahhh.... God is Good and Life NOT Religion is Good... Enjoy it here and enjoy it there...
Bills are paid and lights are on... A/C feels great..
Now I sit in my easy chair and think and type while I smoke my cigarettes and drink coffee...
I don't hurt no-body and no-body hurts me.... that is a priceless freedom...
I like to think about God a lot but not in the conventional manner... more like a mystical oneness.
Nature soothes the savage beast...
Society seems to revel and enjoy the animalistic side.. The physical body is only 25% of the being.
Connie and I enjoy solitude... and the world within.
We study the occult < simply 'that which is hidden' > history of the world and snicker as this civilization thinks that it is all that and three bags of potato chips because everything we see and the mind numbing swirl of agricultural, industrial and technological progress has all been done before around 50,000 years ago.
Married with No Kids provides time and space and peace and quiet to think and study these principles without academic restraint and the shove it in < food > and shove it out always seeking the necessary resources to get that kid fed and out the door.
Bi-Polar, Creative and Intelligent and most likely introverted narcissistic personality disorder... but hey, I'm here conversing with like-minded people on an original Asus Eee PC 4G Model 701 running an Ubuntu < Linux > modification to suit this system called " Easy Peasy " while the cat licks it's butt and the A/C is blowing on my neck with the shades pulled up enough to watch the boats go down the river... while I glance at the security cameras of Dad's little 8 room motel being managed by a couple of trustworthy fellows... while my tummy growls to figure out what to eat...
Um... that really wouldn't be possible with kids now would it ?


two cat you na versity
Re: Your reasons for being child-free? [Re: Burt B.] #770722
06/30/12 04:59 PM
06/30/12 04:59 PM
Joined: Jan 2010
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Debbie-SpiritualityEditor Offline
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Sam.......great list and so true. I had a few good laughs.


Burt......you are awesome! You are terrific just the way you are, enjoying the simple life with nature and relaxation. You do have freedom with your lifestyle. Good for you!


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Re: Your reasons for being child-free? [Re: Mary Leavi] #771933
07/07/12 09:16 PM
07/07/12 09:16 PM
Joined: Jun 2012
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Hippy Pie Offline
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Hi Gaynor, I don't think there is just 1 particular reason why I choose not to have children - I think it's just my personality. It's not in my nature - I love peace and quiet, my partner and I also enjoy solitude. I couldn't stand the constant nagging, the mess, the complaining and demanding of your time &amp; attention that seems to go with raising a child, though I have nothing but respect for those for can tolerate it (although a little bewildered as why they would choose to!). I love to be able to just decide to throw some stuff in my backpack, jump on my horse and head off into the mountains when I feel the need to - I love to wander off and get lost in the heather and woodlands with nothing but the sound of my horses hooves to lull my mind into total serenity, and think 'no one in the world knows where I am right now', and I feel safe; It gives me such a sense of complete freedom and contentment - I would not have that if there were children in my life. My life would revolve around children - loud, relentless, boring. I would feel trapped, tied down, caged by my responsibilities. I think the misery of this would consume my soul, I would eventually die inside.

Re: Your reasons for being child-free? [Re: Mary Leavi] #771960
07/08/12 12:53 AM
07/08/12 12:53 AM
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,392
Verde Valley, AZ
Jilly Offline
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Amen, Hippie Pie, to all of it.

Re: Your reasons for being child-free? [Re: Hippy Pie] #772141
07/09/12 01:55 PM
07/09/12 01:55 PM
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Hippie Pie......you and I have so much in common! I too have horses, and I'd prefer to be on one than to deal with kids any day. It is an awesome experience to be out in nature with your horse to enjoy the serenity. I love peace and quiet myself. I had a very chaotic childhood, and as an adult I have sought peace and harmony in my life.

Stay true to yourself. You are a beautiful person in every way.


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Re: Your reasons for being child-free? [Re: Mary Leavi] #772829
07/13/12 12:37 PM
07/13/12 12:37 PM
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 197
Rhodes Greece
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Gaynor8002 Offline
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Hi hippy Pie, so true. You hit the nail on the head when talking about the need to be alone. I don't just enjoy it, I recognise a need in my self to have time alone.
I have often wondered if the reason I don't want kids stems from my childhood...
My parents were just with us for a 2 week holiday, and I get on really well with my mum. we were talking of the menopause ( of all things ! ) and she was saying how great it was when it happened because she suffered greatly from pmt. she makes a joke of it these days saying she had it for 10 years or so when we were growing up, so my main impression from my youth was my mum being constantly irritable, depressed, and shouting alot.
I wonder, was it just the pressure of having 2 kids, as well as the hormones ? she always says we were no trouble, but surely if that was the case I would have felt that we were a joy in her life instead of a hindrance ?
Society makes us debate with ourselves why we don't want kids, and I'm sure it wasn't my childhood experiences, but as others have said, I just didn't want them enough.
Or a combination of the two ?
I hate a shouting argument and avoid it at all costs - probably because as a kid I never 'won' an argument, my mum ( being a red head too smile ) was always fierce and awesome in her anger.
Or does this have nothing to do with it, and I'm just more gentle like my dad ?
And so my mind works on the what if's...
I'm also aware as shes getting older she really would have liked grandkids, but when we were in a restaurant last week, and children were playing and making a noise she's exclaimed ' get those kids out of here !'
It comes back again to knowing what you want in your life and being happy with it - wether it pleases others or not.
sending a big smile to all of you out there smile

Re: Your reasons for being child-free? [Re: Gaynor8002] #773089
07/15/12 02:56 PM
07/15/12 02:56 PM
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Amen, Gaynor. I big smile to you too smile


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Re: Your reasons for being child-free? [Re: Mary Leavi] #775130
07/26/12 06:47 PM
07/26/12 06:47 PM
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 397
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Samb. Pretty much hit the nail on the head. Still, I thought it might be fun to take my own approach.

It's 10am and I roll out of bed, I feed and play with the cat, do some house work (which takes just several hours per week to keep a spotless and organized home because no one messes it up. Then, i have a nice quiet breakfast ( no, not pop tarts ). Afterward, it's time for a leisurely outdoor stroll or am yoga class where I can gather my thoughts for the day. Once I'm back home I get a shower or a long bath, maybe meet a friend for lunch, come back home make dinner, then get ready for work;I feel fortunate working a part time job, something I'd never afford with a child. When I get home from work, I like to get another shower and then relax with my husband this time consists of
long talks, gathering info on the next place we want to vacation, sex, or watching our favorite shows. After my honey goes to bed, I like to curl up with a
good book. I would not be a happy person if my life didn't have peace and quiet or was overly scheduled...and I certainly wouldn't be happy if I were broke!

Re: Your reasons for being child-free? [Re: missyT] #775276
07/27/12 11:26 PM
07/27/12 11:26 PM
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Life can be wonderful spending it with just your sweetheart. I don't think a lot of women realize that. Kids are not the end all, be all.......


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