BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids CF Woman Seeks Same for Friendship

It's been a lonely existence the last 3 years or so. Right after I got married in 2009, we made a move and moved away from all our friends. Flash forward to now and I still can't find any women without kids with whom to be friends. My hubby tries in help in that he gets together with his guy friends and they concoct a scheme for "us all to get together". Never mind the fact that all these guys wives have small children. So, experience says that when we do get together, the guys will have a good time talking and I will get the pleasure of watching this mother deal with her kids all night. I might even get roped into helping her with them or cleaning the kitchen. Not exactly a fun night out or a way to establish a friendship. Especially once "Mommy" learns that I won't be having kids... ever.

So, has anyone else had this problem? Any ideas on how to find other CF women (or at least gals who no longer have the small kids that are SO consuming) to be friends with? I'm really freaking lonely and I'm an extrovert, so I'm at the end of my rope.

Catluvgal,

Perhaps the solution rests in taking up a hobby? Then even if the women have kids they are more likely interested in talking about something other than family.

Some ideas:
Gardening club
Pottery, Water colors, crafts - something that interests you in art
Martial Arts
Book club

Consider starting your own club and run an ad in your local newspaper that indicates the club is for women without children.

Volunteering allows a different side of a person to grow. Maybe you would enjoy helping out at a pet rescue?

Usually, women with children take up hobbies to remind themselves that they are more than a mom. It allows them to stay connected to the self.

I hope this is helpful.

I don't know what area you live in, but I wonder if you guys could meet some "empty nesters." Also, there's always no kidding.

Last year I joined the board of one of our local farmers markets. Most of our board members are either CF or have grown children. It's a great place to meet people outside of your social circle. And a great place to be an extrovert.

[quote=Deb - Animal Life]Catluvgal, Maybe you would enjoy helping out at a pet rescue? [/quote] I second this - my husband and I foster and volunteer for rescue, and we've met several great CF people through the organization.

I am nearly 60. I thought that as I got older, I might have more in common with women whose children are grown, imagining that maybe more mature women had done things other than raise children. But most of the female coworkers in my age group, spend all of their free time babysitting grandkids or attending grandkid birthday parties, ball games, etc. They are no more interesting than the moomies I find everywhere. At the end of the year we will be moving into a 55+ adult community. I hope to meet some folks that have more interests in their lives than their grandkids.

I hope you find some interesting people when you move Arliss. I find the moomies ( as you call them, great name ) are the ones who say they are bored without kids, and imagine everyone else has as little imagination as they do , their conversation as boring as it is repetitive.
I agree that people who are fun to be around, with good conversation are pretty low on the ground, but they are out there.

Try meetup.com. You can select various groups you'd be interested in and you get email alerts on up-to-date meetings in your area on any given topic.

Also, taking adult ed. evening courses for a special interest or hobby is a good way to meet people. If they have the time to take a course their kids must be old enough for them to indulge in an outside life (in MS/HS or college).