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I have a different mental illness but a know a lot of bipolar people from the groups in my guidance clinic. I've seen some really low depression stages (almost catatonia) and some mania that is so difficult to be around that it sets off my own aspergers triggers.

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It doesn't click.

You have to copy and paste it in the browser address box.

Give it a try... it is worth it.

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Burt, don't you worry about scaring me away! It's not you, I promise. My anxiety is so bad sometimes that the thought of coming on here feels like I'm about to get some horrible news, or something like that. I know it's irrational, and I should just force myself to go through it, but sometimes, I just can't.

I'm working on a writing project that makes me feel good, though. I tend to gravitate toward things that distract me from my anxiety, and writing fiction does that for me.

And as always, I do understand. And again, thanks so much for sharing your struggles with us. smile

Kitten


Kitten Kristine Jackson
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Diana, I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your brother. That's the scariest thing about bipolar disorder. The suicide rate is really high, and I can totally understand why. I've had suicidal ideation since my early teens. I haven't ever attempted, thank God.

I've read that lots of people do enjoy their mania, but I hate mine. That's why I know I have to be medicated--I just go and go, and my mind won't shut down, and I feel like I'm just going to die. And I don't feel happy--I feel very agitated. It's awful.

BD runs in my family, too. There are two suicides in my family in people diagnosed with what they called manic-depressive disorder back then. I have another family member who I've heard was diagnosed with BD, who held his wife at gun point all night long. He also put the gun in his mouth for a long time on another occasion. It's a horrible disease.

And thank you for sharing your pain with us, too.


Kitten Kristine Jackson
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Originally Posted By: Jilly
I have a different mental illness but a know a lot of bipolar people from the groups in my guidance clinic. I've seen some really low depression stages (almost catatonia) and some mania that is so difficult to be around that it sets off my own aspergers triggers.


Jilly, I'm sure it is awful to be around!! But you should be on this end of it!! LOL! No, it is such a serious matter, I shouldn't laugh, but sometimes I just have to make light of things that are so bad. It truly is like being stuck in the middle of a really bad nightmare, and not being able to wake up sometimes. Then, there are what they call "normal" periods between. I don't know about "normal," but they are much easier to take than the extremes.


Kitten Kristine Jackson
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You know, I hesitated for a long time about sharing my issues with BD because of the stigma attached to it. I was afraid that people would be afraid to be around me or that they would discriminate against me somehow. But I'm the same person I've always been. When I'm manic or severely down, I avoid people. I don't expose them to my extremes. That is, except for my husband and daughter who, unfortunately, have seen them. But I have to say in my own defense that there are triggers to my "episodes." I don't "go off" for no reason. It's just that when I'm in an extreme, I can't control my reactions like I normally would. I am on meds now that hopefully, will help with my extremes. OH, HOW I LONG FOR THAT "EVEN KEEL"--TO BE BALANCED!!

Anyway, I finally decided that speaking out and sharing my experiences with others was more important than holding onto my fears. As Popeye says, "I am what I am, and that's all that I am." LOL! smile


Kitten Kristine Jackson
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The measure to which we judge others is the measure to which God will judge us. Be kind & understanding always. : )
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The extreme mania is only awful to be around because it triggers my sensory overload issues. Too much incoherent noise and motion. I have to remove myself from that before I need to do something weird in public like crawl under a table and rock with my hands over my ears. That's literally what i have done, actually.

But that's only extreme mania. I can handle the normal mania. I think. I am still learning about bipolar. I think most people I have met are bipolar II?


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I call it too much stimuli. Too much noise and chaos gets to me too, to where I need to remove myself from the situation. It definitely is sensory overload. I don't have it nearly as bad as you can get it, Jilly, but I know exactly what you mean. I go into an anxiety state almost feeling like a panic attack is coming on. When I start to get a little wiggy I know I have to do something about it.

I prefer peace and quiet, with times of joyful noise like my favorite music on occasion. This is one of the reasons I chose not to have kids!


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Hi all, I am new here and found this thread. I can very much relate to it, so thought I would share. I have was diagnosed with "manic-depression" when I was 25 (I'm 50 now). I could not function well in either state as depression immobilized me (as someone else stated, near catatonia) while the mania scattered me to the point where I could get nothing done. I did have times of "feeling normal" in between - but depression seemed to rule and still can if I am not careful. Daily exercise was the first thing I ever used to control mood swings; I tried this after a depressive state so extreme that when I "came out" of it I realized that losing my life was a definite possibility. (I refused to do any meds... too many bad experiences in my family.) After discovering a particular daily exercise that was helpful for me, I learned to use nutrition, too as well as spiritual and mental counseling/guidance. And so, these still help to this day. I still am slightly to one way or the other, but I feel it is normal (at least for me). Sometimes the struggles are daily and I must work harder on myself (tighten diet, get back to exercise, meditate, etc.) and sometimes I actually feel healthy and realize that my emotions are okay to have.

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debbie, i also chose not to have kids, for similar reasons among many others. I find children pretty stressful.

Cindy, thank you for sharing your story. What kind of nutrition helped you? And I agree completely about exercise.




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