BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage THE LONELY HOUSEWIFE..NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE ONE!

I'm married 1 1/2 years and in my late 30's. Husband works 70+ hrs. a week and I hardly see him. I was just notified that due to federal cutbacks to public schools, I will be laid-off for the summer. We are also a "childfree" couple. The lonliness and boredom is breathtakingly hard to accept. I was dealing with something similar when I was working but at least I had my job. Not working has made it increasingly harder. I only have 2 friends and both work or have kids to take care of and have no time. I can only go to the mall, the local library, watch so many movies and take so many walks. I volunteer but am not needed on a daily basis. I also have no extended family other than a sister and a niece but that relationship has been rocky for years. That also leaves me with no support system. I love my husband dearly and is doing what he has to do so we can make ends meet. There is no blame here, but, there has to be something to ease this lonliness before it ends up turning into depression. Any advice is appreciated!

Hi, Stormchaser. I remember feeling lonely in my marriage when my husband traveled a lot. There are lots of ways to keep occupied, but everyone still needs some company occasionally. Humans need each other.

You've done well to reach out and volunteer, but you need some good friends. Have you tried meetup.com? I love it and have met some great women in different groups. You can choose any interest in the world and find someone who has started a meetup group about it. In your area, too.

I'm so glad you post in this forum because we're real people. I have real friends here. I've even met some in person and they're all wonderful.

But if you want friends who share your interests, you'll have sure success with meetup.com.

Good luck and check back with us to let us know how you're doing.

Hi Lori:

Can you tell us more about meetup.com?

Is there a cost?

Do you have to meet the person for real or keep it safe like online?

I like meeting folks the old fashioned way - at church, through my hobbies and so on. I guess I am "leery" about all the weirdness that can happen(lol)...

Thanks,

Meetup.com is great. Most of the meet up groups are free of charge. The organizer has to pay a fee to start up and maintain the site ($20/mo.) but the members are free unless the organizer asks for dues. It varies.

I started my own meetup and did not charge. I joined free meetups, too. I come and go, depending on how I like the group and my time constraints at the moment.

Just go to www.meetup.com. Type in any interest and your zip code to find your local groups. There so zillions upon zillions of different interest groups. Some are purely social. Some are quasi-business-related. Every hobby and interest you can think of is listed. It's great!

But YES, you meet face-to-face. That's the point. Meetup is trying to encourage people to meet face-to-face instead of on their computers!

Angela, a lot of people today are wary of meeting others in person so the organizer asks you to post answers to questions along with your pic. They don't give out the meeting location to just anyone.

You get a good feeling about the group by visiting its site, reading about the other members, etc. Never go to a first meetup unless it will be either in a public place or well-attended by numerous members (not just the organizer!)

I never had a problem so far, and the people I've met have been just great! Even though I no longer attend one meetup, I'm still friends with a few of the members.

There are a lot of really nice people out there, just like you and me, who just want to meet up with others. I've gone to movies, bunco, crocheted, learned reflexology...all while meeting new people.

I love it.

Stormchaser,

How's it been going lately? I think back to this post quite a lot. I know what you mean.

It's about connecting. With work, REAL friendships, without those or when there's kind of a lull in the air, everything can just seem so blase.

Sometimes you just need something tangible or a situation where you laugh so hard your side aches or you start crying, whichever comes first

Thanks for your concern and yes, it is going. Slowly but surely. It is the holiday weekend and I will at least be able to see my husband for "ONE" day..lol! He is off today (Saturday) but works his 2nd job tomorrow and a couple hours on the 4th. Oh well, ya take what you can get. I try to get out of the house at least once a day (weather permitting). Not necessarily drive somewhere, but, even if it is for a walk it seems to help. Have a good holiday!