BellaOnline Forums Family Work & Family Learning How to Accept Comliments is hard, Yes/No

My recent article talks about learning to say thank you when someone says something nice to you or about.

Do you know to accept a compliment graciously? I know that I do not. For some reason I am often embarrassed, but as I get get older, I have gotten bolder and can better say thanks with a big smile. I still qualify, but.... Why is it so hard to accept these golden nuggets graciously and gracefully?

Read full article here: Learn How to Accept Compliments Gracefully

Great idea for an article.
And, great advice.

There are many reasons one would not accept a compliment. However, they all boil down to the same tone.

Disingenuous gesture
Sarcasm
Joke
Self-Posturing
Ulterior Motive

Just as people sense when we do not genuinely accept a compliment. I believe people have the ability to sense deceitful praise from another but choose to ignore it.

It is more difficult to accept a complement with true enthusiasm when it is perceived as false than it is to hand out cunning praise. I believe this is why people are quicker to criticize a person for lack of enthusiasm in accepting the compliment than they are to scold the person giving it.

Thanks Lisa. In my earlier years I recieved many compliments, often they took me by surprise because they were offered after I had done something that took no effort on my part. Later I realized it was those same things that helped me move forward in work. I've learned what's easy for me may not be easy to someone else and vice-versa.

I have had to learn to just say thank you

Deb, I have never had a problem with false compliments, etc. But do recognize what I call 'suck-ups' when I hear them. Thankfully they have not been geared towards me, I have no power whatsoever

Dear Vannie -

That's a wonderful article! I was taught by my mother from an early age to never accept a compliment because girls should be modest. So even at an adult age I find it hard to simply accept the compliment, and as you mention, it then puts the person offering the compliment in a rough spot which isn't fair.

I also agree that I've really never heard any false compliments, when they're given to me they're in response to something I've done that the person is appreciative of. So it's a matter of me properly responding to those people and show I appreciate their words!

Thanks for the kind words Lisa. It is so hard for most women to accept a compliment without without some kind of qualification. I am sure for me part of it is nurture (mommy who was raised that way) and part of it is inherent nature. Perhaps it's that way for many women. It is up to us to get past that. The next time you are given a compliment, smile and say "Thank you." Then imagine a big sign with with words NOT ANOTHER WORD! held in front of you.;)