BellaOnline Forums Relationships Gay/Lesbian Relationships Would you forgive your boyfriend's gay affair?

Fifty-three percent of Americans support making gay marriage legal, a Gallup poll showed on Friday, a marked reversal from just a year ago when an equal majority opposed same-sex matrimony.

The latest Gallup findings are in line with two earlier national polls this spring that show support for legally recognized gay marriage has, in recent months, gained a newfound majority among Americans.

What do you think about gay marriage? If you discover your husband is a gay after the wedding, what will you do? Do you support gay marriage?

Sorry, Astera, but I don't understand the questions: Is there supposed to be a connection between supporting gay marriage or not and the reaction that you may have if you find out your husband is gay?

I think there is very much a connection. Gay people who marry a person of the opposite sex often know perfectly well they are gay, they just don't want to be. They think their feelings don't matter as long as they keep up appearances because they assume the negative repercussions of coming out would be too huge. If being gay didn't come with a long history of murder, persecution and harassment they wouldn't feel the need to do something so bizarre when you think about, to marry someone you have no attraction to AT ALL(most straight people do not enjoy the idea of intimacy with someone of the same sex and it's obviously the same thing for gays). Legalizing gay marriage goes a long way to normalizing homosexuality and and putting it on a par with heterosexuality. So in the long run, legalizing same-sex marriage would go a long way to making sure no straight person has to worry that their husband or wife might be gay. Everybody wins. Ps. English is not my first language and I'm just bad at formulating myself in general. Hope you get my point.

Marriage is one thing that helps keep society stable. That's why I support gay marriage. Also, there are legal aspects that come with marriage, but they don't come with just domestic partnership.

To answer the question, would I forgive my husband's gay affair? I'm not sure that I would forgive any affair. An affair is an affair. Infidelity is infidelity. It doesn't really matter if it's homosexual or heterosexual. If he wants to bond himself to others, divorce me first.

My husband and I have an agreement. We will be married for as long as we both want to be married. It's lasted more than 30 years.

I have the same opinion as Connie, I'm for gay marriage for all the reasons.

Hello here,

Yes, I have a 'me too' opinion with Connie and Helene. I do not think 'forgive' is quite the right word to use (for me), am not sure that it is up to me to forgive per se, but move on immediately I would. Immediate separation followed by divorce for an irreconcilable difference, gay or not gay. You are right. An affaire is an affaire. Infidelity is just that. And that would be unacceptable for me I am afraid. No crossing that boundary.

Cheers

Hee hee, I'm glad you have the same views. For me, I can not forgive him, holding grudges is never good, but first I would be wondering what the hell he was doing withe the guy. If he was cheating on me, he would never be had chance, divorce will be. But I support gay marriage.

I have to agree with other posters, an affair is an affair. We have to deal with one relationship at a time with boundaries. I hear from many women who are in marriages questioning their sexuality which is a difficult issue and people have all kinds of ways dealing with that. But I think it is honorable to honestly deal with the relationship at hand before any other considerations. This is the relationship they are in and how they handle it will show their character. Questions of sexual orientation is not an excuse to cheat, ever. People are free to break up or divorce to explore what they want and need in relationships. Or they can honestly talk to their partners about what they want or need and try to work that relationship through. And if the opportunity for that type of communication is not there, maybe they are in the wrong relationship in the first place...but not because of sexual orientation.

As adults, we all have the responsibility to communicate to our partner. It is not fair to the significant other to hold what we feel or think from them, even if it is hard.