BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality Buddhism Working with Difficult Emotions - anger, greed...

My latest article is on the Three Poisons of Buddhism - anger, greed, and ignorance, and tools for finding and releasing their roots within our own consciousness.

Part of the reason I wanted to write this article is that I feel focusing on the positive gets enough play in our current spiritual culture, because of the popularity of The Secret and related law of attraction teachings. Although these teachings have tremendous value, I feel at times they can lead people to repress negativity, rather than face and deal with it. To truly grow we need to 'face our demons' - recognize and clearly see the roots of negative emotions that arise within us, so that we can release them.

Thoughts and comments?

Love it, love it, love it!!!

I get to the point sometimes where if I hear one more "Suzi Sunshine" glazing over something that should be addressed litterally I want to say something like, "Ya, well you know, I just saw a cochroach comit suicide today and you know what? He looked like he was enjoyin it..."

I've had people meet with me and their spirits are almost ashamed for feeling hurt, mad and fed up. They'll kind of hint and use a round about way of saying something until I finally just fill in the blank with, "it sucks."

It's like a 1000 lb elephant is lifted and they're like "ya, it really does. You mean I can say it?"

"say it? Shout it in the streets or go find an ocean and scream it out there to the Universe 'cause they alread know it does. You're brave for being here, we all are. It's like a spiritual gym. It hurts, but you have to know it does in order to understand what to tackle next. Eventually you'll breeze through it and be able to help others sitting where you are today."

Well said, Elleise.

Thank you connie

I swear, I've had more "writer's block" trying not offend this person or that person to where I'm so far away from what I wanted to say, before I know it I'm like o.k. where was I going with the good ship lolipop?

I so agree!! And often our strength comes from facing our demons, shadows, dark side - whatever you want to call it - and coming out the other side. I think knowing how to work with those cycles is so important. And I understand the value of a 'sunshine' mentality sometimes, and for some people - it is easy in today's jaded culture to become very negative and complain all the time - but I do feel like I see so many people that have developed guilt complexes (as you mention) around certain emotions. I mean I can literally feel them knotted up inside with unexpressed anger, and they are smiling and 'thinking positive'. They are blocking off an entire part of themselves, which at best closes them down, and at worst leads to disease...

I am finding more spiritual teachers talking about this lately, so things seem to be swinging back around to a balance...

Awesome article Lisa. I do something periodically called "complaint free living," and I wear a purple plastic bracelet that looks like many of those other bracelets people wear for a cause. When people ask me about it, I tell them I wear it to remember not complain. They are shocked.

What people don't get is that not complaining doesn't = positive thinking. It means becoming a problem solver rather than someone who goes on and on about stuff - but never does anything about it!

I wholeheartedly believe we benefit from facing our demons, and figuring out what they are telling us I think it helps us to move out of victim mode and into life participation mode

Lisa, this is a wonderful article that should be read by all. Thank you.

I agree Phyllis! I had to post it on my facebook page

Thanks all for your insights and support, I'm glad you liked it. Deanna, I love the no-complain bracelet - Jilly and Lisa Shea were doing something very similar a couple of years ago, and documented some of their experiences in an old thread around here somewhere! It is amazing how easily we can fall into complaining, and although I think there is such a thing as healthy venting, most of the time it is not.

And I so agree with all of you on the value of facing and working with our darker aspects, and coming to own the gifts the process can bring us...

P.S. Great new picture Deanna

That's a wonderful article, Lisa, and it is very true that we need to examine our negative feelings and find ways to resolve them. I loved your "uproot" language, that these things grow in our mind and we need to seek them out, acknowledge that they are there, and then gently pry them out.

I.e. it's not good to ignore them and allow them to fester. But it's also not good to obsess about them and give them time and energy and focus. Life is too short to spend all your time thinking about what's wrong. It's good to SEE what's wrong - and then to take action to make it better.

Yes I wear a bodhi seed bracelet pretty much daily now and it is my "do not complain" bracelet. As Lisa mentioned, it's not about keeping quiet when something is wrong. Rather, it's about being constructive and proactive about finding solutions. If my waiter brings my soup out cold, I do mention it, but in a gentle, supportive way, and I thank him when he brings me a new one, and I let it go.

I'll go find that old thread, it was a good one!