What I have found is that there are two personages to each of us. No, not multiple personalities, but a "created" us and then a "real" us. The created us is what we have picked up from this lifes journey. The created us has to protect ourselves from all sorts of hurts but the real us needs no protection. The created us must constantly strive to be "better" what ever that word means??? The real us is good enough for any situation. The created self feels alone but the real us is at home. When I want to get over something I just look within at "all" of me.
Yea, I'm selfish, unkind, a chump, guilt ridden, the scourage of humanity, and a down right S.O.B. Then I look at my better side, I am kind, generous, loving, enduring with others and with myself, and a host of other beautiful qualities. When I accept "all" of me I am being, bottom line, honest with myself. In that frame of mind I have the honest foundation by where I can let go of some of my lesser qualities.
Its kinda like, for example, leaving our Sodom and Gomorrahs. If we have no foundation we will automatically cling to all of our baggage for security letting go of nothing. When we honestly face ourselves and make peace with us we can begin to leave the things that we don't like inside. The created being is actually the one that we grew up with and has created us to be who we are flaws and all. The real self has always been strong and secure.
One can prove that within just by looking at the world as we have done a few times and said, "This is screwed up and not the way that I am going." Even though these times are fleeting and we fall right back into our lesser created selves, we nevertheless have seen beyond the garbage to momentarily see the "light". That light we go towards and the lesser truths that we have fall away as we grow. Too many people live in the created self and need to begin to see who they really are. As we are honest with ourselves and let no-one, or any other force on earth, reaffirm our lesser qualities we begin to heal. There is GOLD within every being. It has far more value than metal. I hope that this is clear.