BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Depression REJECTION AND DEPRESSION

Hello, everyone!

I just added my new article entitled "Rejection and Depression."

It hurts like crazy, and it can destroy your self-esteem. Could rejection be to blame for your depression?

You can check out the article at the link below:
Rejection and Depression

I hope you enjoy the article. Feel free to comment on it, or on any other subject you'd like to discuss.

Have a great week and TAKE CARE OF YOU!
Kitten

Exactly Kitten, We all do get rejected at some point of our lives or the other. You just can't predict who is going to reject you and when. It can be just anyone, your friend, your family member your colleagues, just anyone. It is also very hard to explain and console a person who has undergone such experience because there is a large difference between saying and doing.

Great article Kitten! Trust is so hard! Especially if you have been dumped on over & over and aren't making good decisions. And it is too easy to feel sorry for yourself and think you are just unlucky.

That's true, Kaycee. My sweet daughter who is 19 has had her little heart broken over and over, and it just hurts me so much. I see her going through the same things I went through for so many years, and I wish I could just take all that pain for her, but I can't. All I can do it try to encourage her in that if this didn't work, that means there's something better out there for her. And, of course, I try to make sure she understands that she deserves the best--that she shouldn't settle for just anyone. That's how we get into trouble. If we don't believe we deserve the best, we settle for much less, and end up getting hurt. But even if we do everything right, there's no guarantee we won't get hurt. But in order to enjoy life, we have to take chances.

Connie, trust is so difficult for me. Like you said, once you've been hurt, especially if it's multiple times, it makes you wary. But that is part of what I wanted to get across. Many times, we trust too soon. People shouldn't be trusted as soon as they come into our lives. Even the Bible says (can't tell you where! lol!) that we shouldn't trust someone who hasn't proven himself to be trustworthy. But we have to trust a little bit in order to give a relationship a chance. I think it's healthy to keep your guard up, to a point. Don't lay your heart and every detail of your life out there for someone unless you're pretty sure it's safe. I say "pretty sure," because I don't think you can ever know for sure. Anyone could hurt you, but we can't live our lives in a tower, with 12-inch thick walls! Being hurt is hard to handle, but unfortunately, it is part of life.

And as always, Connie--Thank you!

I know what you mean about wanting to save your kids heartaches. But I guess if everyone learned from someone else's advise we would all be perfect!

You're right. Unfortunately, we all have to make our own mistakes. And in some cases, we have to make them over and over again before we learn anything!

Brandi told me today that she's supposed to have a date tomorrow night. I want to be happy about it, but I'm thinking the guy might bail on her, or just not call afterward...you know, the typical guy stuff. I know she has to experience these things and learn how to deal with them in her own way, but the Mom in me wants to protect her. Man, it's tough!

Good luck Kitten!

Just had that feeling, Connie, and guess what!! He bailed on her! I had "friended" him on Facebook so I could keep an eye on him. He told Brandi that he was sick with a migraine & upset stomach, but on FB, some of his friends were asking him about poker that night, and he said he couldn't because HE HAD OTHER PLANS! AND THIS WAS AFTER he told her he was sick!! Typical jerk! AAARRRGGGHHH!!

Excellent article, Kitten. So many people experience depression due to rejection -- even when the rejection happened years ago, it can still affect their lives and feelings of depression. Your statement that "maybe it was just not meant to be" is a good way to remind one's self that it was "not me that was rejected, it was just not meant to be". Very good thoughts!

So sorry Kitten! Don't you hate that intuition...sometimes you just wish it was wrong!

Wow! Thanks, Phyllis! I had been thinking about the things my daughter was going through. Then I saw someone on Facebook who had treated me very badly many years ago & broke my heart to pieces when he rejected me, and that's when I decided to write the article.

You're right. So many of us just never quite get over rejections from years past, and they affect who we are today. It's difficult to not allow it to affect our self-esteem, especially when we are rejected multiple times. But it has helped me over the years to think that it wasn't necessarily me--maybe it just wasn't meant to be. I hope that can help someone else, too.

Connie, I do hate it sometimes & I usually wish it were wrong! But I think it has been a blessing at other times. There's that "mommy knowing" thing we have, and it's there for a reason!

Yes, you are right about that! I could tell my husband about my "feelings" and then when it came true he would always be so surprised. I know he isn't in touch with his little voice lol!

You know, when I get those feelings, I sometimes wonder if it's just negative thinking, but then it comes true, and I know it isn't. I mean, these are things that my thoughts don't control because I'm not actually involved. My thoughts can't control (unfortunately!) the way a guy treats my daughter.

Yeah, Kelley tries to get me to not "expect the worst," but when I turn out to be right, he doesn't have an explanation for it. I guess it sounds like I'm going against what I said in the article, but I'm not in this case. I mean, like I said, I don't have any control over that, so my thoughts can't affect it. And if it's true, then it's just acknowledging reality, not thinking negatively. I hope that doesn't sound like I'm crazy! LOL! I don't THINK I'm crazy! LOL!

My husband always tells me I expect the worst. I tell him that way it is easier to deal with when the worst happens!

I know...I feel ya, girl!

Hi everybody, I'm new here and just want to say that the article is great. It's true, we do need to turn to a specialist when we find it difficult to overcome the subsequent feelings, which can be very overwhelming.

Hi, there, Petko!! Welcome to the forum!

Thanks for the compliment! I think you're right. Even if we can identify what the issues are, sometimes we still don't know how to deal with them. Therapists are trained to help with those things we can't figure out what to do with or how to handle.

I hope you come back and join us again! Take care of you!

surely.. when you get rejected you feel that you weren't loved by any one in this world, and not a single person is there for you.. especially when you get rejected by your loved one or a close friend. <a href=BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

While I agree that getting over rejection may not always be that easy, I feel that those who go through it must focus on their self-worth than ponder on reasons for the rejection. Also, I think it's important to communicate your feelings to someone you can trust. Sometimes all you need is a listening ear, not necessarily someone who can solve the 'problem'.

Kitten,

This is such a great article and a great topic. Just had to say that.

Thank you, Sunshine!

I've suffered so much rejection in my life, and I know how devastating it can be. I'm so glad that you enjoyed the article, and thanks again for the compliment!