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great day #650253 12/17/10 11:37 PM
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 296
happy one Offline OP
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A few years ago, I was looking at the prospect of spending my first Christmas divorced. I was still looking at the world through childless glasses at the time and was reeling from losing my very best friend at the time to someone younger, smarter, prettier, etc. I decided to go back to the nursing home where my Mema used to live and paint fingernails. I used to paint my Mema's nails when she was still alive, and the nursing home staff was always very nice to me and to her.

When I went that Christmas Eve, I met a lady who was 99 years old. We talked, and I found out that she also didn't have children. She said it was one of her regrets that she couldn't have them but figured life was all right even without them. I have no idea why she and her late husband didn't adopt, and I didn't want to pry. It might have been a painful topic for her. But we chatted, and I started visiting her every few months.

I went to see her again today, and she said something that surprised me. She said she had absolutely no regrets, and that if she had the opportunity to live her life over, she would do it again and do the same things. It was really neat to see how even at her age (she'll be 102 next month), her perspective shifted like it did. I hope that some day I'll be able to look back at my life without regret. Currently I do have regrets, but maybe in 60-some-odd years, I'll look at things differently.

Anyway, I just wanted to share about this lady. She's a very sweet woman and just lights up when she has visitors. She once told me that she doesn't want to be like the other people at the home. So many of them have kids, but no one ever visits them at all. She wants to be surrounded by people as much as possible, and her personality allows for that. She's a lucky girl.

I guess the moral of the story is that whenever the obliviots (I heard that somewhere and can't remember where) ask us who will take care of us when we're old, we can tell them about this lady and then tell them to put that in their pipes and smoke it. Right?

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Re: great day [Re: happy one] #650267 12/18/10 01:23 AM
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 148
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swearbear Offline
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What a wonderful lady. I hope to someday meet someone like her.

Re: great day [Re: swearbear] #650293 12/18/10 06:02 AM
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 325
Kat1980 Offline
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Oh so you mean not everyone's kids are caretakers for them when they get old?

It's a great thing that you are spending time with her. She sounds like a great lady.

Re: great day [Re: Kat1980] #650821 12/21/10 09:53 AM
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 549
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Jellyroll Offline
Gecko
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This warmed my heart. Thanks so much for sharing this great story. She sounds awesome. I wish her the best.

Re: great day [Re: happy one] #668260 03/08/11 01:37 AM
Joined: Sep 2009
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sann Offline
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Thanks for this post Happy One!!! It is true. My mother is always telling me that my husband and I will regret our decision and that there will be no one around to care for us etc. I am glad there are others that realize that these older people in the nursing homes have kids and they never check on their parents; so really they end up in the same spot I will be in; according to my mom. They just spent their whole lives dealing with their childrens issues etc and just end up the same as those with no children.

Re: great day [Re: sann] #669438 03/12/11 02:43 AM
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 173
R
Random Offline
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Posts: 173
Sounds like my Gran :-D

Nah, but seriously. My Gran made it to 88, was in sheltered housing for the last couple of years, was without my Grampa for 2 decades. She had a big family that all loved her (even when one of my cousins was a totally wayward 15 year old, she would still phone up my Gran once a week for a chat) and as the kids all grew up we developed our own adult relationships with her.

Still, even in the week prior to her sudden (albeit she was 88!) death, good luck getting an appointment to see her for friends visiting left, right and centre. Most of the friends in their 40s and 50s (her own generation now deceased), and many of them actually my mum's friends whose on mothers were so [censored] the kind of adopted my Gran!

My Gran was just such an awesome, fun, witty, smart, loving person and people like that are never without visitors. My mum is totally the same.

Unfortunately I'm nothing like them in the sociable sence :-D But then I am very happy with silence and my own company so as long as I have a few good friends I'll be perfectly happy. I could never cope with the number of visitors my Gran had (not even now in my 30s!) but I really admire her for being such a wonderful person, and for not letting old age get to her either.

Re: great day [Re: Random] #669520 03/12/11 02:55 PM
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Gaynor8002 Offline
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Your gran sounds great Random - as does your old lady, Happy one.

I must say I'm the same as you though, I like my own company, and really relish peace and quiet, and I would probably get irritated by so much social activity. - although we do have a pretty busy social life.
However, doesn't it just go to show the 'family' thing has very little to do with how happy you will be when you age ?

It comes down to people, personalities, motivation, imagination, personal happiness, and if you think kids are the fix to all that ?
well, wake up , smell the roses, grab life by the neck ( I thought the other word might be censored ;-D ) and start having fun. ain't life great !


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