BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids WISH I wanted kids!

Two weeks ago, I met a man. He's perfect: gorgeous, intelligent, sexy, funny, sweet. He even has a secret passion for rom-coms - how many men are like that? Unfortunately, he also wants kids. I was open with him from the start, but we decided to see how things go. Then last night he admitted he's falling for me so we have to end it before we get hurt. It feels like I'll be alone forever because I haven't got a biological clock, like I'm defective. Do any of you ever wish you wanted kids? And if you have any stories of finding a man in his 30s not desperate for kids, I want to hear them! There aren't any non-kids dating sites in the UK, which is where I live, unfortunately.

RosieM.......
Question :
"Do any of you ever wish you wanted kids ?"

Answer :
NO. NO. NO.

No regrets ever !!!!!!!

cp

Can't say I ever have wished that I wanted kids. Mostly just wish fewer people didn't want them.

hell no///never had the desire to make a woman pregnant. i was always cautious of ever letting myself become a parent.

Oh yes. I have often wanted to want children. Life is easier: it is easier to find a man, it is easier to keep friendships (since everybody else is having children), it is easier for your parents, and, as far as I concerned, it is nice to be able to relate to others. So, yes, I hear yah.

But you can change some little things about yourself, as any therapy-goer could tell you, but what you want or not... not really.

There have been many times I've wished I wanted kids. Like Solalux said--it would just be easier to fit into the mainstream. Mind you, it would make life so difficult in other ways but this world is so family-oriented and in your face about it. I've said to my friends "I want to want kids." But it's just not something I have a big desire to do. And I feel like if I don't have that passion, I shouldn't do it just to do it. You will find a guy that feels that way! Sorry it didn't work out with this one. How would you feel about meeting someone who already had kids? I dated a guy for awhile that had 2 kids already and I loved it. A part-time situation with them was nice and then we could give 'em back! And he didn't feel the need to have more children so I felt zero pressure. Good luck and post back often!

Oops meant to say "I wish fewer people did want them."

The only reason I would "wish" I could want kids is because I know my husband would have liked them (or at least one). For us, the subject of kids didn't really come up until he asked me to marry him (we were only 20, both still in school). I told him he shouldn't marry me if he wants kids, or expect that he will change my mind about it. He married me anyway, claiming he wanted me more than kids. We've been happily married 7 years, and that marriage has survived 2 accidental pregnancies (both were terminated, obviously) and my having my tubes tied. We still openly communicate about it, and the last discussion we had about he admitted that he enjoys the trade-offs of not having kids, but he still always pictured himself as a Dad. And, he still claims that he'd rather have me:)

So, yeah, I wish I could want them for him. He gives me everything I could ever want and even more, and I wish I could do the same. But, I can't, and he never makes me feel bad about it. He just loves me.

There's hope. Maybe you won't find a guy who doesn't want kids, but maybe you'll find someone who wants you more (and also enjoys sleeping in on the weekends:) ).

-D

Don't give up hope. I was in your position a few years ago. I had ended a relationship over the kids issue and felt like I would never meet a CF man, especially since I live in a pretty family-oriented country. Now I am married to a wonderful man that does not have kids and does not want them. They are out there.

I kind of wish that we wanted kids...especially now that one of husband's cousins just announced her pregnancy, his sister has been planning on getting pregnant since before she got married, and his other 2 cousins aren't far behind...I wish we wanted kids solely because I know this is going to start a new clusterfudge from his family about how we are ruining our lives by not reproducing..."we're trying and failing" is a lot easier for them to hear than "we want to live our lives unhindered".