BellaOnline Forums Relationships Relationships Long Distance Relationship

Hi Everyone:

Anyone in a "long-distance" relationship?

If yes, what are the "pros & cons?" And any tips on how to maintain this relationship?

Thanks,

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Peter11:

There is NO problem.

This question is open for discussion. So if you have any opinions, feel free to share them here.

Question: What is the link at the end of your post for?

I never like long distance relationship. I was there twice but it didn't work out. 1st boyfriend was in service, he was lonely and need me to write him letters for 2 years. When he came back home, he have changes. He ignored me at my Brother's Wedding Day. We stood up for my brother's wedding. After that it was over. 2. I met Hawaiian man living in Hilo, Hawaii. We have been writing letters and calling each others. All the money been wastes. So I went back again 2nd time, it was over by the time I got home. Why? Because he bought home with his new girlfriend. They got married by time I got home. Never again this time.

Hi Arlene V:

First of all, welcome to the BellaOnline Forum and glad to see you posted.

Yes, long-distance relationships can work but it depends on BOTH people.

I am so sorry you went through so much heartache. Thanks for sharing!

Thank you Angela, it is worst time of my life. I really like your website very much.

Hi, I am not the owner (lol), Lisa is and she is doing an AWESOME job.

I am new to the site so I apologize form the late comment. Long distance can work if both parties are willing to put the time and effort into making it work! Thankfully my boyfriend and I are living together. Being apart was difficult. We would visit one another about twice a month. In between visits we talked online, texted heavily and spoke on the phone every night for at least an hour. It was hard but we were both willing to put in the time.

Long distance relationships do work. I met my now husband in 2004. He lived in Germany. He came to the States to meet me, after we had talked for a couple of months just to see if we were for real in person as we were on phone and computer. We spoke on the computer with a video cam. We spent 10 days together, away from each others homes. Was a fantastic 10 days. We fell in love immediately. We were both divorced and mature enough to know what we both wanted. We traveled back and forth and I'm glad both our jobs let us to have the time off. We were very lucky. Then in 2007 we were married, and are very happy. So yes, long distance relationships do work, but you have to both be mature and be willing to wait for each other, and spend as much time as possible with each other.

yes, they can work, even if you haven't met in person or it has been/will be a long time before you meet. but...
you have to establish a foundation of trust, honesty, integrity, compassion, and tolerance.
i think some of the pro's are that you get to know the other person in ways you wouldn't if you were together. you have to establish very good communication skills because you can't rely on body language or facial expressions, so things can be taken out of context very easily. you have to get to know each other's style of communication and both adapt to be able to relate to each other. but the result of this is learning things about each other and in ways that aren't often found in 'face-to-face' relationships.
you learn to love and like each other for who you are emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and in so many other ways, not based on physical attraction. we often say we don't care what the other person looks like, but when you're in a long distance relationship, you find out quickly if this is a truth for you or not.
i think the biggest con is the lack of physical touch. it's very hard to be so close to someone emotionally and not be able to touch them. we need touch in our lives, esp. with people we care about on intimate levels.
can it work?? yes! will it work?? that's a choice you both have to make individually AND together. it takes a lot of commitment to overcome the obstacles, but if you really care, you'll find a way.