BellaOnline Forums Relationships Domestic Violence Even if I leave I still feel defeated.

I have decided to plan out the first steps of my great escape. In shich I plan to make a big move. I can not stress how much I do not want to be found because I have a feeling he will pop up and be enraged! I plan to keep as much of this escape as possible top secret. Not telling friends or family for that matter. I have this fear in my head that he will track down my family members and ask about me or intimidate one of my them into telling him where I am. And I'd rather have then not know either. But i feel that by doing so he still wins! No family no friends will now where to find me or anything for that matter. Does this make any sense?

It makes sense, and if you feel this is what you have to do to protect yourself and them, then do it.

Butterfly10 -

There is no reason you can't keep in contact with your friends and family but not tell them where you are initially. One thing you can do is setup a webmail account (I recommend gmail because I like the filtering) and give your family and friends that email address. Even if he gets your email address, you can just fileter his messages into a folder for safekeeping and ignore them. (You can have some else read them for you and tell you if there is anything in any of them that you should report to the police or something.)

Tell your family that you don't want them to know where you are right now because you think it is safer for them if they can honestly tell him they have no idea where you are.

Best of luck!

Julie

Yeah I think it would better if they don't know. Although my friends all hate him and wouldnt give up any info in the first place I'd prefer that they dont know. So in the event that he does approach them they can say "I really dont know!" and mean it. I had gmail set up on my phone so I'm sure he has the address but I will look into the filtering and definetly get that goin! Once again thanks for all of your suggestions and supposrt...this really makes my night being as I have isolated severely by friends and family. You guys are my main support system!

You can get a second gmail account with different info. I have one that I use just for my dog. (He has a blog.)

Julie

I pray that all will work out well for you... I come from a similar situation (not as drastic) and am leaving my husband now too... it is hard... very hard. Many good thoughts and prayers to you.

It is extremely hard!!! People who are on the outside looking in have no clue! I wish you all the best of luck and would like to be informed on your progress if you do not mind. After hearing everyones stories I feel connected to them and like to hear the updates.....And thatnk you....I need all the prayers that I can for the strength to hold out until I have the money saved...

Butterfly10,
Your safety comes first. Go with your gut on this.
Kelli

Thank you! I really want to and NEED to get out of this situation!