BellaOnline Forums Family Child Abuse What can grandparents do??

Please don't wait any longer. Go the the media and do write/call/email your state representative.

Be prepared with documenation about having received brush off from the police and Social Services. And have plenty of witnesses who are ready to testify.

Be sure to let them know that she has a mental illness and will not take medication.

Poor, dear, sweet little Jack. Please do this right away!

Your son-in-law is as guilty of child neglect and child endangerment as your daughter is of child abuse - because he allows this to happen. Last week a man in our town was arrested and convicted of child endangerment for DUI with his kids in the car - that was child endangerment.

I just heard on my radio news that a Reno man was convicted of child abuse and sentenced to five years in prison. He got mad when he was playing a video game and the baby was crying. He picked up the baby, shook him back and forth several times and threw the baby on the bed.

I find it hard to believe that there is no one in the legal system who cannot help those children. Grandparent or not, anyone has the right to speak up and defend children who are in harm's way. If they were in a public eating place (Cracker Barrel) did no one in that place speak up or call the cops? Did your mother ask for the abuse to stop? Did no one else see what was going on? Is your daughter such a terror that everyone is afraid to confront her? I have been in public places when a parent slaps or yanks a child around and the customers or store employees speak up in defense of the child or they call the cops.

I called the cops one night several months ago when neighbors who had been partying ended up drunk and fighting outside. One woman who was drunk and fighting with several others was holding a 10 month old baby who was screaming in terror. After all arrests were made, the baby was taken to his grandparents while the mother cooled off in jail. The grandparents were awarded temp custody till the mother had gone through rehab and counseling.

With all the time we have spent here discussing this serious issue, something could have been done to help the children. If you were going to a psychologist (this is just an example) and told him/her about this issue, it would be reported immediately and action would be taken to remove the children from harm's way until a resolution is reached. This is not a time for procrastination or why your daughter is the way she is - she needs counseling and help. You need help to help the children, the children need help immediately!

The important thing to do here is to take action now to protect those children before one of them ends up in the hospital or morgue. Sorry to be so blunt, but, that is what could happen when no action is taken regarding child abuse.

It seems like you are really trying to help - but, you are in a precarious position: you want to continue being allowed to see your grandchildren yet you want to protect them. Frankly, I would rather know my grandchildren are safe and healthy and take the chance of not seeing them than to lose them permanently.

BWilson,
I agree with the others on this. You need to take the documentation and show it to someone in the professional realm. Someone needs to protect these children. Even if you have tried before, you must try again. And yes, tell them she has a mental illness and isn't taking her medications. You need to protect these children, from both of their paretns. It sounds like he is just as abusive as she is. Please, go again and report it.

There are a few who seem to walk around on egg shells around, including my mother. She is 80 years old and begs her not to be mean to the kids. If my mom tells anyone and my daughter finds out, she goes to her house or calls hers and cusses her out...tells her she isn't seeing the kids anymore. I think my mom is a little afraid of her. I am trying and trying hard. Like I said before, we have spoken personally to the city detective and the county detective. The child advocacy center was a bust b/c my grandchildren haven't had any broken bones or haven't been sexually abused. I was told if I wanted him to be interviewed by the forensic psychologist, my daughter would have to bring him...like that is going to happen. Too afraid what might come up. I have called DCS and now it is a waiting game for them to check on them. I was told by one of the detectives that he would personally go with the caseworker and if anything was off, then the kids would be taken out of the home. If they don't warn her they are coming first, then maybe, just maybe they will be free. I have emailed and literally begged the people on the national abuse website, but haven't heard anything from them at all. I guess it takes a child dying to get attention. We have dealing with this even before Jack was born. She would beat her stomach and scream everything was Jack's fault. We have fought and lost, fought and lost. I have always tried to keep Jack as much as possible and so does my sister. But it ends now. I will NEVER stop fighting, ever! I don't want my grandbaby to die....God please help us!

Links that may help you:

Counsel Care Connection

Child Abuse and Neglect

Child Abuse Hotline - Government

I'm encouraging you to go to the press. They tend to act quickly. Especially when you tell them that the police and government agencies are doing nothing and a reporter can follow the trevails of that poor child.

God IS helping him. He gave him YOU! Act now.

What I find amazing that this lack of response is taking place in a time when it's not unusual to hear about a mom being picked up and questioned if she swats her child on the fanny in the supermarket.

It seems that we go from one extreme of overreaction to turning a blind eye citing overwork, budget cuts and too heavy a caseload.

The other poster's suggestion of talking to the local news might get things moving faster but in reality you put things in motion when you posted here.... I believe that you have been given lots of great suggestions and support. Please keep us posted as to the outcome.

I agree with everybody else. Keep notes, pictures, when your grandkids are with you let them draw, they usually draw what they know and a picture says more than a thousand words (I am a member on anohter site and one of the parents there said that her 3 years old daughter would draw pictures of men with there privates on them, and when you asked her what was it she would tell her mom that it was dad's p...s). When they draw something disturbing ask them what it means and write it on the back of the picture as best as they explaine it to you, do not enbelish the words, with date and put it with your other documentations. Do not questions them but let them tell you anything, tell them that you are there for them and give them your love. Do not interrogate them or push them to tell what is happening it will look like you are putting them against the parents. If other members of your family witness something like that and are willing to testify have them write what they saw, when where and how it happen and have it notarized. The more the merrier. but I agree with Phillys, the system works sometimes and others just wants to ignore the signs. Does your daughter has a doctor who prescribes the medicines? Would that doctor be willing to testify that without the medications she is a violent person that cannot be trusted with her own kids? Can you go to him/her and explain what is going on and have him/her go to the authorities, doctors have to report abuse and that might pull the authorities to do something about it and in you favor, also please go to an attorney than specialzes on child abuse ASAP. Please keep us inform. Bella