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How did you recognize that he/she was your soul mate?
Are you together or is it a long distance relationship?


Walk in Peace and Harmony.
Phyllis Doyle Burns
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Yes, I've met my soulmate! I recognized him because the second I laid my eyes on him, he literally took my breath away...and it was the same for him.
At first we had a long-distance relationship and even through the distance, we felt the "connection". It's been over 3 years we are married and every day I wake up feeling happy I'm with my soulmate.
I know they don't come often and some people never meet them, that's why I appreciate it even more.

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When we were introduced, he asked me if I had an article in Tropical Fish Hobbyist that month. Yes. He said he had read it in a client's house earlier that day. It was my first article ever published. What are the odds?

When we met again, several weeks later, I was having an exceptionally bad day---it was the anniversary of my mother's death---and I heard an Irish accent whisper in my ear from behind, "What's wrong, Mary Ellen?" So I told him.

It was a blue moon, and when we were climbing off the rocks at the beach from where we had watched it rise, I fell and hit my head on a rock. He was aghast, and blamed himself for not going down before me to give me a hand. (As if...I was a goat on the seawall, and tidepooling a childhood preoccupation.) I was delighted. I had escaped death twice that day.

He still doesn't know, but I was so depressed before he whispered to me that I was going to throw myself off those rocks because I felt so unloved.

I have never felt unloved since.

Not even when we disagree.

Happy Easter!

Last edited by Mary - Irish Culture; 04/04/10 11:04 AM.

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These two stories sound great - maybe I'm eady to dip my toes in the dating pool again.


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I am married to my soul mate. We were attracted at first site but it took us both a lot of hard work to achieve the relationship that we have.
It took showing love before we felt it. It took me praying that God would enable me to love my husband the way He loved him.

Last edited by Lynne Chapman; 04/04/10 01:18 PM.
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On April 29, we'll be 21 years married. The "lightning bolt" lasts, especially in mature couples. I wouldn't expect that kids would have much luck with "love at first sight," but two old fogeys like us, well, we knew it when we saw it; and we knew it was what we'd been searching for. Exactly that.


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If that's what you feel, take the plunge! It's Spring! The waters have been known to be good for the soul.


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I think I have found him - in fact, I am sure of it. Whether or not we will come together remains to be seen. We are a few states apart.


Walk in Peace and Harmony.
Phyllis Doyle Burns
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My husband and I met in a dream when we were only young children, five and eight years old. We sat in a Japanese hot tub, playing happily together with such a sense of joy and peace. We had this same dream for three days. When they stopped, my husband said he felt so lonely and despondent.

Nearly two decades later, he walked into my office and when we set eyes upon each other, there was a tangible feeling in the air (a co-worker asked me, "What the heck happened out there?")There was an umistakable draw to him. He was so appealing that I wanted to rush into his arms and kiss him. I heard something whisper to me, "How would you like to be married to this man?" I shook off that nutty thought as I just ended a long relationship. He called to ask me out and we had a hard time parting ever again. He asked me to marry him three days later.

I told him I had a love of baths, especially bubble baths, and wanted him to take one with me. He cried in the tub and told me about his dream. I was that little Japanese girl and he was my little blond friend.

This year, we celebrate our 25th anniversary. Are we soulmates? Yes! Yes! Yes! Although being soulmates does not imply a smooth road, but partners who will help each other grow. Growth has been painful but grow we have.

We still are so madly, wildly, passionately, eternally in love. We have three children. We buried one and soon another. We used to drive each other crazy and get so mad and sick of things and yet, we loved each other so what could we do but stick it out together? Accept each other as is. He is the most wonderful man on earth, my everything.

Soul mates forever.

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That's one heck of a story Chi. Good for you, dear!


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How Do I Love Thee?

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, -- I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! -- and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning, 1806 - 1861




Walk in Peace and Harmony.
Phyllis Doyle Burns
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HI, I am new to the site i know this post is really old but it is a very interesting topic. Lynne Chapman i read that with a lot of prayers you eventually had the relationship that you both wanted. I am in the same predicament. I am with someone and I have been praying my heart out everyday. We both care for one another and i believe he is my soulmate but it is so hard. What are some other things did you do to make it work. And did you have a specific prayer that you said to help yoi through the hard times?

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If you are soul mates you will find a way to work it out. Sometimes you need to be apart to be together in mind and spirit. Soul mates are so very close to each other spiritually that sometimes space is needed so each of you realize what your role is and who you are. It is similar to being twins -- you each have to have your own identity in order to support the relationship. That is why soul mates are not together in every life time. They need to gather their own experiences, strengths, and wisdom so when they are together they have more to offer to the relationship.


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Phyllis Doyle Burns
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No, I haven't met my soulmate. I would like to find one. I have been searching all over. No luck!

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Wow, these stories are beautiful! I am with my soulmate. I'm only 20 years old, and he's 21...we may be young, but he is everything to me. We constantly say the same things, even if they're completely random and have nothing to do with the context of the situation. We met in high school while I had volleyball practice and he was painting the girls' locker room. My volleyball rolled over to him just as he was about to go on a break, and when I went to pick it up, we said a quick hello, but we were instantly attracted. Then, I just couldn't stop thinking about him...everyday thoughts of him would be in my head. When school started, he was in my Spanish class. He came to every single one of my games, even though he didn't have a car. He would walk, and one time he rode his skateboard (but he's horrible at it! =]) Everyone could see the connection we had, even though we were very shy about it. We started talking and everything he said was right in tune with my own opinions and thoughts. Soon we were inseparable...and have been ever since. I know it's only been 4 years but I could never leave him or be without him. I used to wish on all of my birthday cakes, every shooting star, and every time it was 11:11 for him. :P I even pictured his exact face, with his beautiful blue eyes, and his full lips. I pictured his 6'4" stature, his tanned skin and dirty blonde hair. He was and is the love of my life, my soulmate, and my dream guy.

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The Navajo belive that everyone has what they call a spirit half this is the person that completes oneself to make you whole.And that there is only one per person. I met mine many years ago for me it was a sense of DA JA VUE we both knew we had been togather many moons before in another life.But it turned out bad HE would come to me in the dreamtime i would feel him there or he would call to me and then i would end up having flying dreams to be near him .I still love him'but i'm not to be with him in this lifetime' hopfully he'll be mine in the next. A ho

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Ya'at'eeh, Wolfsong. Welcome to BellaOnline, and thank you for sharing the Navajo belief of the spirit half. You and I share the same type of issue with our spirit half -- it is not for us to be together in this life, maybe next time (I hope).


Walk in Peace and Harmony.
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Has anyone found their soul mate but realize they are with someone else for this life time and committed to that relationship?


Walk in Peace and Harmony.
Phyllis Doyle Burns
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It took being age 52 to meet my "soulmate" - too many wasted years in the past, but I am ENJOYING him and ever so HAPPY (lol). fish

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Phyllis, I have thought I've met my soul mate four times now.

I'm married, and committed to the relationship. But I don't think he's a soul mate.


:::sigh:::

The stories here have been beautiful.


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I think that there can be more than one soul mate, depending on one's particular place in spiritual progression. To me, a soul mate is one with whom you've made a pact to aid along the way.

I guess if you're talking about the one-and-only, other-half-to-your-soul, type of soul mate...then, I believe that some of us may not have the opportunity to connect with him or her on this earthly journey.

Anyway, it's good to feel whole and be in touch with your essence so you don't feel lonely at all. Because at our very core, we're all in touch with the ALL that connects everyone and everything. You're still in touch with your soul mate then, even if not in the physical dimension. Sounds like a bunch of metaphysical hooey, but that is what I truly believe.


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Lori, I do not think of it as "hooey" (love that word), rather it is part of a belief system. You have expressed the soul mate eternal bonds very well and very beautifully.

I, too, believe we have more than one soul mate. My whole family have been closely connected in each life time, and always closely. The "twin soul" is the one that is your other half. Twin souls come together in each life time, but not always as partners in a relationship.


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Ah, and I am enlightened by your wisdom. I never heard the term "twin soul" but can see the difference between the twin soul and soul mate.

I read somewhere that on a different plane, these souls--twin souls, I guess--merge into one. Thus, the biblical saying of "the two shall become one." Some may think we're really twisting this but there are realities that will astound us all when we come to know them.

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That reminds me of the Wedding Song:

He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts
Rest assured this troubador is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits, here, has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
There is Love. There is Love.

Well a man shall leave his mother and a woman leave her home
And they shall travel on to where the two shall be as one.
As it was in the beginning is now and until the end
Woman draws her life from man and gives it back again.
And there is Love. There is Love.

Well then what's to be the reason for becoming man and wife?
Is it Love that brings you here or Love that brings you life?
Or if loving is the answer, then who's the giving for?
Do you believe in something that you've never seen before?
Oh there's Love, there is Love.

Oh the marriage of your spirits here has caused Him to remain
For whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
There is Love. Oh there's Love.


Walk in Peace and Harmony.
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Yes - two days after I cast a spell for "The Woman Right for Me"

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Originally Posted By: Ninjahedgewych
Yes - two days after I cast a spell for "The Woman Right for Me"

Ian Edwards; Pagan Site Editor


Well...can you cast a spell for me? smile I know who my soul mate is. The problem is he does not. cry

No...that's ok. I would rather it be his choice.


Walk in Peace and Harmony.
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Interesting....I saw the title of this thread and immediately wanted to answer, "Yes, I have found my soul mate!" Yet as I read the thread I started to think perhaps I have met my twin soul. Never heard it put that way but it makes sense. My love and I are very similar (yet just different enough to make it interesting!) and we had a very quick, intense connection. Either way I am very happy. He is a lovely man, boyfriend, lover, friend and twin soul!

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Welcome to BellaOnline, caterina13. It is so special when one is with their twin soul.



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I like Lori's reply about being a Soul Mate depending on the spiritual level you are at and what another person's spiritual level is at.

For me, I've found I am a bare all kind of person, so I'm easy to find, not guarded. When I have an instant connection it's strong until one or the other person veres off someplace.

So a Soul Mate that was, who at one time made it easy to breath, if they feel driven to maybe not pursue their spiritual path and chose a more dysfunctional level or just more distracting, then the connection is lost or not quite as strong.

I also believe very much that we have more than one Soul Mate and that circumstances as well as living conditions have ever so much to do in meeting them.

Last edited by Eleise - Clairvoyance; 09/29/10 01:12 AM.

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I didn't know the person who was right for me. I cast a spell asking Freya for someone with certain attributes such as high intelligence, soft skin, loves animals etc. Then met her by 'coincidence' two days later


Ian - Pagan Editor

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That is so wonderful, Ian. You must be very happy together.


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Reading stories about soul mates warms my heart... but it is a bittersweet agony for me because although I have met many soul mates throughout this lifetime... I long for the One who has filled my dreams for nearly 17 years. I began dreaming about him 13 years before I met him. I first met him in 2006. We almost collided into one another in the grocery store, our eyes locked immediately, we were standing so close, softly he whispered, "hi". I can't remember if I said Hi out loud or only in my mind. As we stood there smiling at one another, our eyes never lost focus, for the first time in my life I experienced a moment without the confines of time, heaven and earth stopped as the hands of time ceased to turn. Although it was only seconds, it seemed like an eternity that I stood there before him. His eyes... those cool, almost transparent pools of aqua blue seemed to reach into the depths of my soul. Suddenly, I snapped back to reality when he whispered, "you first" as he motioned for me to go in front of him. As I walked past him, our gaze still locked, I felt almost engulfed in a whirlpool that seemed to swirl around us. As I shopped, I kept watching for him, peeking around displays and hoping to catch another glimpse of him without being so obvious as to get caught. Never before had I been so intrigued by another human being, I did not understand my reaction to him but I definitely liked it. Although the realization of who he was did not come immediately, within 5 minutes of leaving the store, I had a shocking revelation as I saw, in my minds eye, all those years of dreams of the 'mystery man', as I called him, suddenly there was no mystery, he was the man in the grocery store. For a brief moment in time we came together... the timing was off, I was just getting divorced and he was in a rocky relationship. We parted paths, I left the state for two years. Now I am back. Since my return, I have seen him repeatedly - as if the entire universe is pulling us back together, I seem to always be in the right place at the right time without giving it/him/me/us any thought. It just happens. Usually - its from a distance - and each time the feelings come rushing back. Those old familiar feelings of being swept away in time, heaven and earth standing still, nothing exists except him and I. He recognizes me. He stares, I feel him stare but I haven't got the nerve to look into those crystal clear blue eyes. My heart aches but I fear the timing may still be off. Can my heart survive knowing the truth? Can my heart survive NOT knowing the truth?

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SoulSeeker.....I don't know how you can stand it after all these years, not knowing if the two of you can ever have a relationship. It does seem that the both of you are destined to be in each other's presence again and again.

Maybe he is afraid just like you are that circumstances just aren't right for a relationship, but how will you know for sure if you don't explore the possibilities? Even if there is no way that the two of you can be together, isn't it better to know that after all this time than to endure the torture you are in right now?

How about the next time you see him just walk right up to him and ask him out for coffee? You can say, "Isn't it something that we keep running into each other?" See where it goes from there. At the very least you will get some reaction from him, and hopefully maybe a conversation that will make things more clear for you.

Good luck to you. Please keep us posted.



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How do I stand it? I'm not sure. It's not an easy thing to endure. Every time I see him, I just want to rush up to him but recently, there have been barriers/obstacles. He's going one way, I'm going the other. I pull into a store as he is pulling out. I turn a corner a block away when I see him turning the opposite direction one street over. Although we are basically being forced into each others paths... those paths aren't quite connecting yet. One day last week, I waited in traffic for what seemed like forever, as soon as I got a break in traffic to pull out, I looked up and noticed he was right in front of me. I got in the turn lane at the same time he did (odd). As soon as he turned the corner, he stopped his truck - - blocked me from proceeding further as an SUV was coming in the other lane, I was basically 'stuck' waiting. As he came around the back of his truck, I quickly glanced in his direction and saw he was looking directly at me! I get so nervous around him. It's easier said than done to walk up to him... I freeze, my mind goes blank, words do not come out of my lips. I am lost in the moments... BUT once we are to the point of actually talking, it feels as natural to me as breathing. I think instead of walking straight up to him and asking him out..............!!! lol I would be more comfortable just saying, HI at first. It seems that he has always 'led' in initiating contact, I patiently wait. Perhaps an 'oops' meeting like our original encounter would work?

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A couple of other things... I am trying to remain open and sensitive to the gentle nudges so I don't miss anything... but most of the time when I run into him it is because I am out and about - - - because of a 'sudden' necessity. Sometimes I will have to drive to a town 25-30 miles away and I will run into him!! I can never guess where he will be at any given time........... yet these 'chance encounters' keep popping up.

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Soul Seeker, I was also afraid to proceed into a relationship. Mine was a bit different, since we were co-workers and became good friends. I was so afraid to move to the next level, since if the physical relationship went sour, I was afraid that I would lose my friend.

Thirty-plus years later, we are still great friends, but we have been married since 1979. I found the only man that I could marry, and was able to make the leap of faith.

I wish you the very best, and hope that the universe nudges you into your perfect direction.

May all of your days have blessings,
Connie


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Connie, Thank you for those words of encouragement!! It's as if I am being pulled toward him, drawn in by him.. I believe the universe has been pushing things in that direction, especially since I came back here. I have been going through these chance encounters since the very first week I got here. I'm nervous about talking to him, but I know when the chance arises, I will be ready. I just need a little courage to help me along the way. =) I wish he was here right now! I would have a lot of things to tell him =) and I wouldn't be so afraid to talk to him. Tomorrow may be a different story though lol

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Who can't use another good friend?

I went through something similar in my early 20's. I kept running into my first "love."

What's interesting w/this anyway was that he lived 45 miles away. It would always be in traffic too and the place or city we would run into eachother was a city in between his hometown and mine.

So, at the wierdest hours and by the oddest compulsions (I hated going out btw) I'd be prompted/antsy and get in the car and just go somewhere. On more than a few occasions I'd run into him. I'd know it was him too, just in case it was my imagination because he had unique license plates.

Boy I wish I could post those plates too...such a funny story! He had just got a new set of friends, money, "extra curriculars" and car and had custom plates, but his initials, which he didn't quite think out, together, were quite a feminine slang...

We had separated but one night he brought the car over to show off basically and the first thing I noticed was his plate when I read it out loud.

He whaled..."Oh no.....I have to get that fixed!"

But anyway, if you keep running into eachother, there's something ther or it wouldn't be happening. There's nothing to lose if you don't have it already so why not just laugh and approach him one day and say, "We have to quit meeting like this..." and see what happens?

No matter what type of relationship we're in, who can't use another good friend? And what I've come to know of just your posts and openess, he'd be lucky, anyone would, to have such a grounded Soul in their lives! smile


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Eleise, That was an incredibly sweet thing you said! That started my morning off perfectly... thank you! About him - - I know I must work up the courage because at this rate, I feel as if we are going to 'bump' into one another. This, I feel certain of. I just don't know when or where (and I hope my hair isn't a mess - - and I haven't been working in the yard all day) =) lol But from what I know of this experience, I don't think it would matter to anyone except ME how messy my hair looks. I'm thinking by now, he must think I am a stalker! I'm no where near that crazy, actually, I'm totally opposite. I just hope he, on some level, realizes it's chance and not ME initiating it. That's a cute story about the license plate, wish you could share 'details' because I'm sure it would be hilarious... but I understand that you can't. =) Are you two still friends? Together?

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SoulSeeker, you seem to be in a similar situation as I am. I fear that if I step up and make known my feelings I would lose a very good friend. My predicament is: do I want to take a chance and let him know how I feel -- or do I want to keep things as they are to at least keep him in my life as a dear friend?


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We are


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Just a thought Phyllis but when you are working late,, particularly 2-3am you could always set a chair in front of you and imagine your friend (or put a photograph or other connection there) and tell him how you feel and that he is welcome to take things further if he wants.
As you speak imagine the words coming from your heart chakra and being charged by the throat, one empowering them with your true feelings. This technique works on a subconscious level of the person being contacted, so ask him to do one action if he wants to take things further and another if he just wants to remain friends.

Hope it helps


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Thank you, Ian. I will do this. Thank you for thinking of me and offering some good advice. I have known this man for so long now and consider him such a good friend -- yet he has been with me spiritually for many life times. Your suggestion is a safe way for me to contact him about my feelings. Blessed Be.

Last edited by Phyllis, Native American; 11/07/10 10:55 AM.

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Glad you like it. It's a nice subtle technique with many uses. Just make sure you are alone when you use it as I used a variation of this when I was at boarding school to help one of the teachers recovering from a bad car accident in hospital. Apparently the Housmaster's wife saw me in full flow complete with candles and interweaving hand mudras(!) That, combined with my Spellbooks and Aikido practice made her nervous of me for the rest of the time I was there and even to this day


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I suppose that would be rather startling to someone who does not understand your ways, Ian. I hope the Housemaster's wife has recovered from her shock.


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Sadly not. Interesting that this should come up in the relationships forum as the relationship between her and me was one I explored as part of my course when I was doing my counselling and hypnotherapy training so I feel happy sharing it here. I did have one or two �occult� books on my shelves in my cubical including �The magic power of Witchcraft�, �The Key of Solomon� and some works by Idris Sha, and a couple of tomes on herbs, shiatsu and energy healing. Several times when I came back from school they were out of their normal order, arranged left to right instead of my usual right to left, which suggested that someone had been looking at them, and she was the only person in the house.
Also when the teacher began to recover in intensive care I was the first person asked about after her family � and she didn�t even teach me. Apparently she�d had weird dreams of waterfalls, forests and �Ian doing things to put me back together�. Needless to say that the housemaster�s wife wasn�t the only one freaked out by this assertion.
The counselling/hypnotherapy class using various styles of therapy, plus the use of the Tarot that I had introduced, suggested that she projected on to me a selection of fears from her past that she had not dealt with. Plus the stresses of trying to co-run a house full of over 30 boys ranging in age from 11 to 18 with all that that entailed. I probably stood out even more because I didn�t drink to excess, smoke, and my girlfriends were all from outside the school, all of which was very atypical.
There were also incidents where I appeared to adjust the foundations of conventional science. The Housemaster was also the head of the biology department and still believed in things such as the human heart rate being a purely autonomic function. This I proceeded to debunk in a class where we took each others pulse by varying it as low as 40 beats per minute for one person, then 70 for the next, and 120 for another person and so on. He got annoyed enough to take my pulse himself several times throughout the lesson and got a different result each time. This is a relatively easy thing to do by using emotion, visualization, and volition, it still weirded him out though.
I don�t think at the time the school provided any sort of support for the boarding staff and this did not help them or the students. The combination of these events and circumstances meant that they did try to make me conform to the norm (whatever that was) through peer and hierarchical pressure. Big mistake as I was more than happy to use them as the subjects for magickal experiments; everything from focussing my voice so that I sounded as if I was right inside their apartment when I had independent witnesses to me being somewhere else entirely, through to using thoughtforms that really did impinge on their consciousness in various ways � such as the feeling of something following them
This combination of intense emotion and psychological pressure actually lead to a �growth spurt� in my magickal abilities as you can see from the above examples and after one term of this the hassle stopped. However the Housemaster and his wife remained wary of me for the rest of my time there.
Nearly two decades later I returned with my wife for the schools� centenary celebrations, having put our names down for the tour and dinner that were part of the event. I met the teacher I had helped, and who was still working part time there before we arrived at the main event. The first thing she said to me after I had introduced my wife was:
�What have you done to poor <Housemasters wife>?�
�Why�? I asked as I got a wifely �look�
�Because she�s up at the reception now, leaping about two foot in the air every time anyone brushes past her and keeps saying �Is he here yet? Is Ian Edwards here yet?!� she replied giving me a suspicious look to counterpoint the one my wife was using.
Made my weekend that did���
So the short answer is no, I don�t think she ever did recover from her shock.


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Amazing story, Ian. Thank you for sharing that.


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My pleasure, it is a very important part of my past and the things I learned formed the basis of much of my successes today. The importance of the relationship angle came to the fore in the counselling training and it helped that one of my fellow students was a Witch who helped explain the psychological angle with Jungian references between the inner worlds and shared reality.


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I have followed your suggestion, Ian. I lit my candles and spoke to a picture of him (2:30 in the morning). I now feel I can just let it be, whatever direction it takes from here. It is in the ethereal region.

I have always felt that soul-mates do not spend every life time together physically and I am okay with this if that is the way it is to be.

When I think of him and our lifetimes together, I always whisper:
Merry meet and merry part and merry meet again.
Blessed Be



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Well done, hope it works out the way you want.


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Wow . . . heck of a story. When I met my boyfriend he reminded me of a dream I had a couple times years ago about being in a relationship. No bubble bath but he has the same energy or vibe that this guy had in my dream. This was 5 years before I met my boyfriend, then when I met him I felt really sure of something. Our relationship today is stellar. Maybe the guide to our soulmate is through your dreams!

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I met my Soul Mate 3 months ago. We met for the 1st time for a business meeting. We knew from the moment that we met that we loved each other. A few days later we told each other that we loved each other. 7 days after we met, he asked me to marry him and I said yes. We saw each other the next week, but I haven't seen him since.

We made a vow to be exclusive and to wait until what I call "the manifestation of us." We've texted each other. He texted me in Nov and said that he promised that we would be together soon, but here it is Jan 2011 and I'm still without him.

I believe that we will spend the rest of our lives together and I've vowed to be true to him until we can be together, but this waiting is killing me.

It's like, I was completely content before I met him, but once I met him, now my life is not complete without him.

I've never been the type of woman who felt she needed a man in order to be complete, but this man has captured a place in my heart where only he and God resides.

I'm frightened by the very thought of our not being together, now that we've met.

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I Still looking for one ...

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Originally Posted By: Di_A.A.Lit.Editor
It's like, I was completely content before I met him, but once I met him, now my life is not complete without him.

I've never been the type of woman who felt she needed a man in order to be complete, but this man has captured a place in my heart where only he and God resides.

I'm frightened by the very thought of our not being together, now that we've met.


I believe it is so important, no matter how deep the love for each is, that each person remains complete withing themselves. It is like two pillars that hold up a building. There is space between and each has their own strength to support the building (relationship) yet work together to hold it up. If one cannot stand alone, then the relationship is weakened. If one falls, the other must carry on to sustain the memory, the joy of what was.


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Laugh, thanks for sharing your story. It is so wonderful how he came into your life and would not give up. He was not pushy, just patient, for he knew you were the one he is supposed to be with.


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I've more or less given up on finding a true &quot;soul mate&quot; unfortunately... I think for some of us who are very independent minded, a soul mate might not exist... think I shall find him or her only in my dreams!

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I have.

I think a great deal of weighing that decision has to do with your surroundings, history together, responsibilities and timing, especially.

I think you could choose to leave, but karmically, it feels like it could end up bringing a selfish or less "whole" energy. You'd always have that elephant in the room.

However, say the comitted partner you're with is self-preoccupied themselves, treats you poorly or offers very little emotional support, so basically you're in a relationship alone, by yourself. Then staying would present a less than fulfilling relationship all its own and little by little you begin losing so much more than what you would have gained by leaving.


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Can you have good soul mates and bad soul mates?

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There can be a "bad" or negative person you have to deal with -- but "soul mates" are always supportive and loving with each other.

So, my belief is "no, one does not have a bad soul mate."

Last edited by Phyllis, Native American; 02/24/11 01:20 PM.

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I agree with Phyllis to a certain extent. Everyone is here to aid in our soul development. But we can take a slower or longer or more complicated road, if we choose, and others can help put us on those roads.

And then, there are others who help us along a higher or easier path--and those aren't necessarily the same. Sometimes, the hardest paths are the ones that lead to faster and higher soul development. Often, we make pacts with other souls to come down to aid in each other's development and they aren't always loving and supportive from an earthly perspective.

It helps me to approach everyone as a soul mate and work from love rather than fear. Every relationship offers an important life experience and lesson.

But since we're talking about soul mates in a romantic sense, I think it's good to trust your feelings and intuition. Do you love him/her? A deep gut feeling of love that isn't influenced by any other worldly criteria? A love that you'd follow into the gutter as well as into a mansion because all that matters is that you're together? An unconditional love with no strings? Does your partner feel it, too?

Some people mistakenly believe that true soul mates will recognize each other instantly, but it isn't always so. We're all in different states of evolution and we may meet when we're in a stage when we don't fully recognize each other. Sometimes, we meet, we grow and only then our eyes open wide enough for us to recognize each other!





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Originally Posted By: Lori Chidori - Marriage
I agree with Phyllis to a certain extent. Everyone is here to aid in our soul development. But we can take a slower or longer or more complicated road, if we choose, and others can help put us on those roads.


Very true, Lori. Everyone in our life aids us in some way to develop and grow spiritually.

Originally Posted By: Lori Chidori - Marriage
And then, there are others who help us along a higher or easier path--and those aren't necessarily the same. Sometimes, the hardest paths are the ones that lead to faster and higher soul development. Often, we make pacts with other souls to come down to aid in each other's development and they aren't always loving and supportive from an earthly perspective.


I agree. Good or bad, we learn from each other. If we recognize that each person who comes into our life is a teacher, then we learn to either accept and grow -- or disagree, avoid, let go, which still helps us to grow.

Originally Posted By: Lori Chidori - Marriage
It helps me to approach everyone as a soul mate and work from love rather than fear. Every relationship offers an important life experience and lesson.


This brings up the question of "What is a Soul Mate?" See my definition below.

Originally Posted By: Lori Chidori - Marriage
But since we're talking about soul mates in a romantic sense, I think it's good to trust your feelings and intuition. Do you love him/her? A deep gut feeling of love that isn't influenced by any other worldly criteria? A love that you'd follow into the gutter as well as into a mansion because all that matters is that you're together? An unconditional love with no strings? Does your partner feel it, too?


So true! I would walk with my soul mate to the ends of the Earth and face whatever comes our way with him by my side.

Originally Posted By: Lori Chidori - Marriage
Some people mistakenly believe that true soul mates will recognize each other instantly, but it isn't always so. We're all in different states of evolution and we may meet when we're in a stage when we don't fully recognize each other. Sometimes, we meet, we grow and only then our eyes open wide enough for us to recognize each other!


I agree. Some people do recognize their soul mate instantly, others do not.
****

How do you define the term "Soul Mate"?

This is how I define Soul Mate:

Soul mates have traveled on many journeys through time together in a bond of love that is for eternity.

Soul mates have a spiritual connection with each other that is far greater than any other bond or connection with other people.

Soul mates are part of each other. It is like one soul that is not complete without the other half. My soul mate is a part of me and even if we are not together physically in life, we still have that spiritual connection. When not together in life (maybe each is married to another person) they still have that spiritual line of communication whether they recognize it or not -- this may be why some people, although happy in a relationship, still feel that "something is missing" in life.

Because we each are on different levels of spiritual growth, soul mates may not recognize each other physically, yet the spirit does recognize and when the two people come together there can be an instant like and a feeling of comfort.

Soul Mates do not always marry and live together for life. We may have other relationships that are meaningful and lasting, yet the couple may not be "soul mates". They may have been together in a previous life as friends, siblings, or other relationships.

Even though soul mates may not live together for life in each life, their last life on Mother Earth is together as one.

People reincarnate in groups, usually in the same roles, sometimes in different roles. The "soul mates" always have that "spiritual recognition and bond" that draws them together in love, often a profound and unconditional love. Because we reincarnate in groups, I often refer to my significant soul mate as my "Twin Soul". smile
****

What is your (anyone) definition of "soul mate"?






Last edited by Phyllis, Native American; 02/25/11 08:41 AM.

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Phyllis and Lori, these last posts are amazing, and so true. Thank you.


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Thanks, Francine. Lori and I usually come pretty close in our belief systems and it is such a joy to read her posts and interact with her.


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Phyllis, I feel that way about YOU and YOUR posts! You know I feel a deep connection with you. It is a joy and blessing to me.

I have to tell you that sometimes, *my* soulmate brings out the worst in me, perhaps in order for me to face my faults that hide in the shadows and root them out. He does this through his own faults which makes it hard for me to focus on my weaknesses at the time because it's too easy to blame the other person for starting problems! Sometimes, I don't like him very much at all. People think that you will always be madly, magically in love with your soul mate every step of the way. Not so. Sometimes, it is so so hard to evolve!

My soulmate, however, has provided the most opportunities for soul growth. Painful, joyful growth. Self-mastery is our greatest life challenge.

But with each victory, our love grows, too. He is my greatest teacher, my greatest friend and my greatest lover.

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Gosh, been on and off these forums all day and it is my first day! Off of work today and enjoying it. Anyhow, yes I met the person I do not want to be without in my life. We have been together for 5 1/2 years and I love it. We are best friends and sweethearts.

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Originally Posted By: Lori Chidori - Marriage
Phyllis, I feel that way about YOU and YOUR posts! You know I feel a deep connection with you. It is a joy and blessing to me.


Thank you, Lori! You and I do have a deep connection that is also a joy to me. You are a good friend to have in my life.

Originally Posted By: Lori Chidori - Marriage
But with each victory, our love grows, too. He is my greatest teacher, my greatest friend and my greatest lover.


See, you and I are very much alike. In a poem I wrote about my soul mate I noted that:
He is my eternal love, my teacher, my friend, my king
He leaves my soul wanting for nothing.


Although he and I are not together physically in this life, our spiritual bond is and always will be strong. For reasons we may not have chosen ourselves, we have separate lives, separate paths in this life -- or, maybe we did choose these different paths for the sake of others, which will only make our spiritual love stronger.

Last edited by Phyllis-Folk/Myth; 04/03/11 06:04 PM.

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If you have met your soulmate, does that mean that you barely fight or argue with each other?

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Not necessarily. Soul mates can and will have disagreements just like any other couple -- but, they may have a deeper understanding of each other so can easily reach agreements.


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so how do you all end up together? I am currently long distance with the love of my life and he wants me to move to his city (in my own place with my own job, however) how to I tell the fam?

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You just have to follow your heart. Be honest with your family and let them know this is a good move for you (if it is what you want) and you will keep in touch with them.

Is it possible he can move to your city?


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In some situations, or life experiences, there are times when one must realize they have to respect and honor the path their soul mate is on. When the path is different than your own and the two of you will not be together is this life, than one must learn to let go and go forward. We will always have that strong spiritual connection with our soul mate (or twin soul) even when not physically together.

Some lessons and life experiences cannot be learned if the twin souls are physically together - so honor and respect of each other and the path of your twin must be an important part of our lives.

Last edited by Phyllis-Folk/Myth; 05/03/11 01:13 PM.

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I understand the love of your life and your willingness to go, but once you get there, in your own place with your own job, because of human diversity, I would love myself, just as much to make certain, where I end up going is just as balanced for my own well-being (outside) of the love of my life, as it is for the love of my life.

Having a love of my life of my own, I would meet them half-way or move to where they are IF it was impossible for us to live together some place else.


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Oh my, soooo sweet :) You still are so madly, wildly, passionately, eternally in love! Im so jealous to your fabulous life!!! Sou mats forever!!!!

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With my twin soul I will walk beside him, spiritually or physically, to the end of time and beyond and wherever we felt the need to be.

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Aaw Phyllis that was beautiful! You're making me tear up!

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Ohhh...you are so sweet, Great Grandaughter.

I love that pic of you and your sweet dog.


Walk in Peace and Harmony.
Phyllis Doyle Burns
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Two-thousand, five-hundred years ago, Plato wrote:

"And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy and one will not be out of the other's sight even for a moment."
****

Where are you now, my other self? Are you awake in
The silence of the night? Let the clean breeze convey
To you my heart's every beat and affection.

From A Lover's Call, by Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)


I remember when you kissed me and kissed me,
With tears coursing your cheeks, and you said,
"Earthly bodies must often separate for earthly purpose,
And must live apart impelled by worldly intent.

From A Lover's Call, by Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)


But the spirit remains joined safely in the hands of
Love, until death arrives and takes joined souls to God.

From A Lover's Call, by Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931)


Walk in Peace and Harmony.
Phyllis Doyle Burns
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Has anyone ever read "Beloved Prophet"? It is a beautiful record of the love letters of Kahlil Gibran and Mary Haskell.


Walk in Peace and Harmony.
Phyllis Doyle Burns
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HMM.. not yet!!

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Believe me no one knows that he is your soulmate until you can say that he is the love of your life. It took me a while to know that he really is my soulmate until I felt it inside my heart. Yes, it was love I felt and we made efforts to survive this kind of relationship. I am happily married to my soulmate :)

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How does one recognize their soul mate or twin soul? Let me give you an example. A friend of mine is married to a woman he loves. They have teenage children. Another woman that he has been friends with for a long time has asked him to "come home" to her because they are twin souls. The man is torn between his "spiritual love" and his "physical love". He feels he belongs with his twin soul -- yet he is not ready to leave his wife and children for her. He once pondered, "What if she is not really my twin soul?"

Well...what if his wife is his twin soul? In my experience, one will recognize their twin soul, if not immediately, in a short time. If my friend is only basing his decision on what the "other woman" says, then he will more than likely be making a huge mistake. He would have to get the "spiritual recognition and knowledge" that she is his twin. It is possible that he is not as far advanced spiritually as his "twin" is -- so it will take him longer to come to terms with this. Or - this other woman may just be playing an emotional game with him, using the "twin soul" issue to get what she wants.

At the beginning of Creation each soul had an option to go through many life times by themselves and create relationships of significance for learning all they need to. This may take many, many life times to accomplish. Along the way, this one soul develops very close relationships with others -- these are "soul mates". Some souls decided to split into male and female, thereby experiencing life times and gaining knowledge twice as fast. These are "twin souls".

Twin souls may not be together in each life time. In some life times they may not even be alive at the same time. It is rare that twin souls will meet in one life time -- and when they do the instant recognition is there for at least one of them. They may be on different spiritual levels and one may not recognize the other right away -- but, eventually they will be drawn together. Nothing on Earth can break the spiritual bond the twin souls have with each other. If they are meant to be together in a particular life time they will be, they will find a way to be together. If being together is going to cause pain and deep hurt for others the twin souls must realize that they will reunite when the time is right, if not in this life, then the next.

I know without any doubts who my twin soul is and I love him beyond all earthly desires. I believe he may be at a different spiritual level than I am. He may be further advanced and knows that he must complete his karmic relationship and his chosen path in this life -- or he is just not yet aware of the spiritual connection/bond. I would not ask him to give up what he has for me. That would go against our spiritual promises. I will walk with him to the ends of Earth and beyond if he asked me -- but, I would not destroy his life to do so.


Last edited by Phyllis-Folk/Myth; 09/16/11 09:10 AM.

Walk in Peace and Harmony.
Phyllis Doyle Burns
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Phyllis your words send chills up and down my spine!

I'm blessed in this lifetime to have met and married my soulmate. I first saw him in a dream and then a few months later he materialized in the flesh. There was much synchronicity that occured prior to and after our meeting --- THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS COINCIDENCE!

It was instant recognition. How did I know? When I looked into his eyes, I saw a reflection of me and vice versa.

Although opposites attract as I learned the first time around -- that was karma and a difficult relationship I had to endure to get me to the next level -- in the end things that are alike in their innermost nature attract one another.

Phyllis my sweet I suspect you are on a higher level yourself and thanks for sharing.





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Anna, what a lovely message. That is how it was with my twin. I first saw him in a dream, years before I met him. I even knew his name. When he physically came into my life it was a profound feeling of joy and love - indescribable!

I agree: there are no coincidences (co-inky-dinks, as my kids and I often say).

Thank you for sharing, Anna. I am so happy for you and your love, your soul mate.


Walk in Peace and Harmony.
Phyllis Doyle Burns
Avatar: Fair Helena by Rackham, Public Domain
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 17,644
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We do not always spend a life with our twin soul -- but, to know your other half is there, even if only in your heart and soul, is so comforting. Often it is best to just let separate paths take their intended course.


Walk in Peace and Harmony.
Phyllis Doyle Burns
Avatar: Fair Helena by Rackham, Public Domain
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