BellaOnline Forums Family Moms children or no children

I am new to BellaOnline, so happy I found it. I posted my first thread under NO KIDS regarding me being confused about having children or not. My sister (40) got a baby a few months ago and I went to help her with the baby. Sometimes when I held the baby I had a feeling of complete fulfillment. Ever since then, I started to think about having children at the age of 45!!(I am aware of all the negative things that can happen etc because that is all I hear when I tell my friends that I think about it) I know all the reasons (and valued that) for not having kids. I spoke to a therapist and was told that a lot of menopausal women (don't think I am there yet) feel they missed out on something in life and want children when it it "too" late. I am so confused!!I really would like to hear your thoughts on this and also about why you have children. I l'll never be this rude in real life, asking you why you have children, and hope you realize that I am just seeking advice.

I can't imagine anyone's answer being the same to this question, lol.

For me, it was a desire that I had but waited awhile. I was 28 when my first child was born, and 4 years before my second. So obviously I'm not someone who rushed into it. I've always loved kids; I did a lot of babysitting as a teenager, taking care of my nephews, etc.

Why did I have kids? I've always wanted kids, it was just a matter of when. I wanted to have kids when I was content with having done the things I felt like doing for myself, when I was ready to put myself aside a bit for someone else.

I remember as a teenager I used to say I loved kids - loved them while they were good and loved to give them back when they weren't. The best question to ask yourself if you love the *idea* of a child or the reality, lol. You can always get the best of both worlds by doting on your niece/nephew and getting all the love and cuddles and then giving them back when they are tired of it.

I'll end this way: Children are very rewarding, but never confuse that with easy or even always very lovable. I love my kids dearly, but I am convinced that God made all babies and children of all species so cute and adorable as a survival feature so they could stay alive.

Dez

That's a really tough decision and either way, there's no going back! Becoming a mom alters you and your life in a fundamental way. Personally, I have found my greatest joy and satisfaction in being a mom.

It's certainly not easy by any means, but it's so very worth it!

You've got to think through this decision both emotionally and logically. Will you have the stamina to cope with a baby and later a demanding toddler and pre-schooler? What about when your child becomes a teenager and you've entered your golden years?
What does your husband or partner feel about these issues? Is he ready to have a baby?

This is a decision that only you can make. Best of luck.